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Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

glench.com

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Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#61

Post by glastra »

I hope I'm wrong here, but I fear that the author is, in a way, just moving the goalpost.

A dissatisfaction with one's work that manifests as some sort of "what I do doesn't have meaning" or "what I do doesn't help anyone" is usually just an "I don't do anything relevant in my spare time" that is looked at through the wrong lens.

In a capitalist society, one should not rely on the same activity for both sustenance and psychological well-being or fulfilment. As many have pointed out before me, here and elsewhere, any hobby or similar activity stops being enjoyable once it becomes your job, i.e. once you pay your bills with it.

Instead of trying to stretch our daily jobs to fit two different goals, I believe we should, in fact, shrink our jobs so that they leave enough space for different activities that try to tackle the lack of meaning or passion in our lives: volunteering, cooking, making of art or just simply being there for our loved ones.

In other words, instead of the "equate life worth to career, find out life has no meaning, change career, equate life worth to new career" cycle, try the "equate life worth to... well, life itself" for once.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#62

Post by silveroriole »

nabnob wrote: post #36

I've been having the same existential crisis for a couple years now. I started working at a FAANG company right out of college, then after a bunch of personal health problems ended up taking a leave of absence that I didn't return from. I took a long break from software and started learning politics, philosophy, and history, and eventually came to the conclusion that most of the world's problems are social/political…

I agree. The interesting, high-paying jobs in tech all seem to be centred around funnelling money from one place to another for profit, or manipulating people for profit. Most of the available work just seems to do harm. Working for public/charity companies doesn’t lead to satisfaction either, since all you see is an overworked, underpaid, too-junior workforce and an inferior, outdated product which you can do little about.

On top of this, the accepted career progression for many programmers seems to be that you become a manager and don’t even get to solve the fun problems yourself - now you’re doing harm and not even enjoying doing it!

But hey, at least we get paid a lot...

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#63

Post by selune »

operakadabra wrote: post #19
wccrawford wrote: post #2

Correction: "Decided to become a therapist". >Shortly after beginning my Hakomi training, I applied and was accepted to the professional mental health counseling masters program at Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where I'm studying and training through 2020 to get my licensure. Going through schooling is not the same as becoming something. The title implies that there was success found here, but so far…

"Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome." -Arthur Ashe

The thing is that burnout among therapists is real, everyone I know who worked in counseling came with lots of, how shall I put it?, infatuation, enchantment and everybody got severely disenchanted at some point.

So until the author has worked for a couple of years in the field, he comes off as a little bit... naive. I don't mean to come off as condescending, I hope he finds happiness in his new profession.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#64

Post by MrGilbert »

segmondy wrote: post #20
sleepysysadmin wrote: post #9

There is a severe workplace burnout problem in IT(especially MSPs); which when not addressed grows into bigger mental health issues and even literal sicknesses. There just isn't enough skilled IT people. The industry is immature and is bottom heavy. The top performers and seniors, are then overwhelmed with work and the business is unable to hire more senior people to reduce workload. Then the business keeps growing a…

Perhaps there really is a severe workplace burnout problem in IT, but perhaps that's not the problem. There're ton of companies with burnout problems and worse turnover rates than IT. I personally believe that the issue we are seeing today is that most people don't know how to manager stress, emotion & energy. Most people are leading a very reactive life and constantly been pulled and pushed in all directions by "lif…

> [..] but detach your emotion from the outcome.

Which is kind of difficult, even as a long-term professional.

As a software developer, I'm responsible for the program that I write. I'm barely responsible for design & marketing, though.

When a customer criticizes the application for being what it is, I find it very hard to detach my emotion from it. I always feel that they are criticizing me, personally. And I blame myself, partly: "How couldn't I have seen this?". But sometimes, the criticism is directed at marketing or design, which leaves me with a "I told them so!" kind of feeling - still, I'm the one who has to defend the decision that has been made in front of the customer.

Btw, they don't know that they are writing with the developer - for them, we look like well-trained support agents.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#65

Post by ratling »

Jimpulse wrote: post #52
rlue wrote: post #3

And from the other side of the aisle, "Why I Quit Being a Therapist": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0Fi32LbXHA

Wow thanks for the opposing perspective. Seems like even as a therapist you're still fighting the system and still only able to treat the symptoms.

I can see why they would be good at doing IT.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#66

Post by sesteel »

mfoy_ wrote: post #39
sesteel wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Detaching emotion from the outcome is key. I've heard it described as professional distance or professional objectivity and it is a key component of maturity. It is more prevalent in other industries, but tech has grown so fast that we have a serious mentoring problem. There isn't enough good mentors, people with decades of experience, to go around. I grew up in part of the industry where people had been working for…

Reminds me of part of that poem by Kipling... "If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:" (I highly recommend reading the whole thing. Not that long.) https://www.poetryfoundation.org/…

Thank you for sharing.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#67

Post by balabaster »

onemoresoop wrote: post #28
balabaster wrote: post #5

Wow! Can I ever see some parallels with the inverse correlation of my own inward search for meaning and my lack of contentment with life. They say that happiness is found within, but the more time I spend looking inward, the more and more sure I become that it's not. Happiness, at least for me, is found in friendships and relationships, in human connection. The search inward may lead to many profound and philosophica…

Happiness is overrated too. One needs to be content and aware first of all. Friendships are great to have but most can't do without them because they're truly afraid of being with themselves(e.g alone)

I've spent much of my adult life feeling alone, if not physically, mentally. I think this is common in careers where we're paid to spend our time thinking. It's a hazard of our profession exacerbated by who many of us are as human beings. We found ourselves in these careers precisely because of this trait, our ability to think deeply about solutions to problems - which seems to be a net side effect of our proclivity to spend our time weighed down in our own thoughts.

I wouldn't knock those who fear being alone. Enduring being alone is mentally and emotionally grueling - even if you don't shy away from it. If you're not scared of it, then either you're one of the lucky few who are resilient to it or you're not giving it the gravity it's due. Either way, I'm envious of you.

I have days where I feel like my only reason to live are my friends and children. Without them I wouldn't even make it through the day. On those days, I fear being alone. Not because I'd harm myself, but because I know that it's the first step on a spiral into a depression I don't want to be consumed by again. I fear it because I've been there on more than one occasion. I fear it because I know how hard it is to drag yourself out of.

If you're not truly afraid of it, you've never been there.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#68

Post by duopixel »

Congrats on the change in careers, Glen. My own journey follows a very similar arc. For a rational person it's incredibly lonely: the spiritual community often sees the rational mind as a hindrance into more subtle realms, and the rational community sees the spiritual one as full of fluff and fantasy. It's difficult to have a foot on each side.

We must understand that one does not invalidate the other, they belong to different realms of being. An inner truth (i.e. everything happens for a reason) does not invalidate an outer truth (i.e. everything that happens is random). Being able to hold this paradox is an important developmental milestone.

Another duality is the relationship between mind and body, and for mental people bodywork is crucial to make emotional breakthroughs, but in my experience most people dedicated to this don't understand where you're coming from. Very little can be accomplished if the rational mind is the master at all times, but at the same time it's guarding an emotional dam that should be drained with caution.

Therapists who understand the tech industry and the rational mind are desperately needed, most people who get into it are naturally empathetic and operate from the heart, which is wonderful for therapy, but they can't relate at all with the territory you're traversing when you're going through transformation. The maze that you describe is completely foreign to them, and even worse: very few people have navigated it successfully, it remains largely unexplored and uncharted, so it requires infinite patience and lots of trial and error.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#69

Post by mpnagle »

mettamage wrote: post #7

I'm so jealous he got to work with Bret Victor on Dynamicland! (in a positive sense, I suppose envious is a better word) I've met 2 types of computer science students at uni: (1) the ones that love programming and love the mechanics of it. (2) The ones that love making music or similar forms of media. The reason the second type gets into computer science is because they love media and they love it so much they're wil…

Coda’s another similar place: feel free to drop me a line (nagle@coda.io.)

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#70

Post by chasd00 »

selune wrote: post #10

Interesting. I quit psychology/counseling and work in tech now and the thought of my work being absolutely meaningless gives me a lot of anxiety, I hope I'll come to terms with it one day. Correction, I'm sure I'll come to terms with it but the transition is far from being smooth and takes longer than I expected.

i really feel for people who drive themselves crazy over their work, its impact, and their overall purpose. My poor wife struggles and suffers constantly over these things year after year.

Maybe i'm just mentally handicapped in some way but i like to code and solve business problems and so i'm a consultant who codes and solves business problems. I've never thought about if my work is meaningful, it's impact whether good or bad, or worried i'm not pursuing the true purpose of my life. It just doesn't come to mind.

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