Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

I run a free mentoring program as a form of community service, specifically for managers and leaders. Happy to talk live if you prefer: https://freemanagermentors.com

I’m a fan of Jack Welch when it comes to leadership, and I’d recommend thinking about the “4e’s and a p” method. https://jackwelch.strayer.edu/winning/leadership-4es-p-energ...

In particular, how can you energize others around you? As a leader, you need to motivate, inspire, and instill confidence, almost every day. You don’t have to be charismatic or a good orator to do that either. You need to learn how to connect with your people, understand their motivations, and utilize that understanding in how you speak to them (language, tone, timing, feedback).

Lots to unpack here, but that’s my rapid $0.02 on HN. Good luck!

An engineer focuses on the what, where, and how...a leader focuses on the who and why. For example you are considering adding a feature to your app. As an engineer you think of what you need to build how to implement it, where to store the data or put the logic. A manager focuses on why you should or shouldn't build it, who on the team does what part, how much it costs, etc. Imagine the transition from line cook to executive chef...when you're in charge you have to think big picture about menus and marketing and let your team handle the tasks of chopping of vegetables and plating entrees.

My advice to yo is to hire an assistant who is capable of teaching you these things. Unshakable trust will be needed on both side. Try to find someone like a recently mustered out Army Ranger. I am not kidding.

Here's my strategy whenever I have 1:1's or hallway "walking conversations" with execs/GMs that are at least 2 levels above me:

1) try to teach them something new or interesting that has been learned that they can add to their box of tricks/intel that they can pull out later in other conversations. Include people/orgs that are involved. Include observed successes/failures.

The goal is that when they leave the conversation - they've learned something - and they've pegged you as someone who has something interesting to share.

2) avoid status reporting - that can move up through the regular chain of command.

3) discuss side projects or other things orthogonal to the immediate business - but that might be value to another or future part of the business.

4) avoid too much of the "idea guy" stuff - keep the things talked about to things that are real and tangible. I'v'e found that idea's that often seem grand and cool to me on reflection appear rather naive and unattainable.

..take all of the above with some salt - your millage may vary.