11–20 of 43 posts
It looks like that you are in a comfortable place. What if you put yourself outside of your comfort zone? You know, put yourself in situation where it forces your drive or motivation to kick in. Example, work in a charity for homeless people for one year or Help out a hospice for kids.
Good luck on your search.
Sounds like you're successful and have many personal outlets such as your business, music, etc. So I don't think wood working or extra academia is the solution. It sounds like you need more social interaction. You don't necessarily have to work to work on a team. Volunteer, join a church, have some kids, join a club (running, soccer, whatever). Get out there and make your life more complex in a good way. Also, I'm ju…
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really like how you put it: "get out there and make your life more complex in a good way." (My wife and I are trying for kids right now and sometimes I wonder if that's the "complex in a good way" thing that I'm anticipating...)
So by being so successful you have conquered many problems. But also taken away a necessary source of well being. It's time for a challenge.
Can you share what you think made your business idea succeed?
I'd suggest not increasing your spending like I've read humans do in such cases and instead planning your personal finances to get the most out of your success. After that, disconnecting for a while would be good to get rid of any burnout. It doesn't have to be that long, but disconnected enough to give perspective. Then figure out what you'd like to do with your freedom and resources you have left.
You're making good money means you must have learnt a few things you can teach others, so why not share that knowledge. It is the best way to do something new while keeping yourself in the game and meet a few like minded people too.
coincidentally, I'm also 31 in a similar situation. Probably will automate/hire for the day to day stuff, then work on a hardware project.
I did do a lot of pretty amazing things during that time though. Enjoyed my life. Went backpacking a bunch.
But I think if you have something that's on fire, just fucking grow it. If you don't have something on fire, sell it and try to do something new.
That loneliness you described is more like "emptiness," and you should keep looking for inspiration to fill that space. You can find inspiration anywhere – there's no wrong answer! Woodworking, pottery, and taking classes all sound bomb.com. Some other suggestions:
You can travel. Going somewhere I've never been before, where I don't even speak the language, has reliably kicked me out of these lulls.
You can find something else to pour yourself into. In the past, I've just taken advantage of these uninspired periods by devoting a few weeks or months to another "bucket list" goal of mine (i.e. training for and completing an Ironman).
You can make new friends or visit old ones. Visiting old friends who knew me really well in a previous chapter of my life is a great way to shake me out of a funk. It's a good reminder of where I've been and gives me perspective on where I want to go. I also love reconnecting w/ people I really respect and admire, people who have also been my biggest supporters. As Rumi said, "Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames."
What you've described sounds extremely familiar to me. If it really is the same thing, I'd tell you that it's normal and definitely not forever. While some people wait for something to happen to them, I'd say be proactive and go search for that new inspiration!
Ps. I'm 30 and plan to start a family soon(ish), too. Our thinking is that these are the last kid-free months we'll ever have again, so we're trying to squeeze in as many adventures as we possibly can. Perhaps you and your wife should, too!
Good luck, and congratulations on reaching this level of success w/ your business! Feeling uninspired at this point just means that you've conquered one challenge and are hungry for something new to sink your teeth into.
I would say take a break of a week or two and try to do outdoor activities with two or more people - strolling, walking, sports etc and meditation as well. As you mentioned joining some classes like woodworking or pottery might help as well. Hope this will put you back into regenerative mode.
I'm 40... I was in your position the last 7 years. I rode it out... I have some regrets. My first being opportunity cost. I did do a lot of pretty amazing things during that time though. Enjoyed my life. Went backpacking a bunch. But I think if you have something that's on fire, just fucking grow it. If you don't have something on fire, sell it and try to do something new.