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Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

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Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#41
Try to focus on one specific technology that is popular in enterprise software and become an expert at it. Take one to three months if possible and just focus on that one thing. I'll use the example of front end development with Angular. Watch a bunch of youtube videos on it and read the docs. Set up a free github account and set up a free github pages blog and do deep dive blog posts on angular topics as you learn and also build demo apps that demonstrate your mastery of specific angular best practices. Put that stuff on your resume and present yourself as an expert on the topic. Side opportunities may open up as well. As an example see how this guy has set himself up as a django expert: wsvincent.com

Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#42
I'm sorry. The tech world is cruel and parts of the culture value youth to a harmful and callous degree. The people who are saying your depression is purely chemical and all that are missing the point that the depression is a reaction to an honest to goodness extremely difficult situation. I can only empathize. Please don't give up. If you're in silicon valley, I can only suggest getting out, since it seems to be the locus of this shittiness.

Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#44
Lots of good advice here. I have been down this road as well...

It totally sucks.

I'm not saying that exercise is the only solution, but it should be considered. I love weightlifting, riding in my bicycle on the trails in Colorado while listening to books, swimming and sometimes jogging. There was recent study I heard on NPR, that team sports (soccer & basketball) can ward off depression, because they are exercise combined with social interaction. Sometimes it can be a good networking place as well.

I know when I playing basketball, my mind is focused on one thing and one thing only. Chasing that basketball and putting it in the hoop, it's nice to think about only one thing.

Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#45
I am 42, been in the industry for the past 19 years. Right now, I am in job hunting as well. It does get depressing at times, I tried not to dwell on the misses, and keep on looking forward to the next interview.

If you can afford the money, do get the necessary certifications; PMP, Certified AWS Architect, etc. Else spend time to revise on the interview questions, there's a lot of resources on GitHub.

In between waiting for the next interview, I am trying to get back into shape, pick up a new hobby or skills, etc. Just to keep my mind back to those negative thoughts.

If you need someone to talk to, drop me an email.

Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#46
post #25

I'm 44 with fewer years of experience as a developer than yourself. I've been through the job hunting meat grinder a couple times in the last year myself. I've been homeless in the past, too. Here's what I have to say: - therapy is for people who can afford it; don't get hung up on the fact that you can't afford it, and do what you gotta do to keep going - leave your personal drama out of the interview, no matter wha…

> if you suck at interviews, practice interviewing You know what's also a great way to practice interviewing? Interviewing for jobs you don't want. Just for practice. Because you already don't want the job, the stakes are low for you, so you can relax and just do the interview.

I agree with you, although it's an expensive way to learn, too. I've gone on job interviews for positions I didn't want before the interview that ended up being quite attractive. The more meaningful prep one can do outside of interviews the better, but to your point, there is no replacement for the real thing.

One other thing worth mentioning is... go where the jobs are. It is easier to practice when there are more interview opportunities available.

Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#47
To beat depression, I follow my passions. I go on long bike rides while listening to long DJ mixes. I work on side projects that interest me. I go on long walks and listen to pod casts. If you need someone to talk to, I have more life hacks to share. You can find me by my handle. Hang in there and keep your chin up!

Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#48

I'm 44 with fewer years of experience as a developer than yourself. I've been through the job hunting meat grinder a couple times in the last year myself. I've been homeless in the past, too. Here's what I have to say: - therapy is for people who can afford it; don't get hung up on the fact that you can't afford it, and do what you gotta do to keep going - leave your personal drama out of the interview, no matter wha…

> leave your personal drama out of the interview, no matter what, because ain't nobody going to want to hire a depressed mopey anybody

I would like to second this. I do this by never showing weakness. Always try to provide solutions and when in self doubt, keep mouth shut.

Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#49
Please seek help if you have seriously considered taking your life.

I've dealt with this exact issue in my life before. Here's a few of my recommendations.

If homelessness is an issue, get any income you can. Whatever job you can get to get your bills paid, take out loans, credit cards do what you gotta do to take care of yourself. Every time you go to that job, no matter how you feel about it, tell yourself, this is the first step forward. This is me taking care of myself.

There are a lot of free resources in most cities. Sometimes talking to a social worker is completely free and can be very helpful. Talking to an external non bias source who has "no skin in the game" can be profound.

Somethings to consider:

How much sleep are you getting? If it's on the low side (under 6 hours) this will greatly contribute to depressive thoughts or moods. Typically sleep can move you into better mental health than medication can.

How regular is your sleep? Are you falling asleep/waking up at the same time everyday? If this is varying wildly it will throw your circadian rhythm off and your sleep will be of poorer quality, which will worsen your mood.

How much physical exercise are you getting? Physical exercise has been shown to release a whole range of chemicals that will affect your mood. Try to get at least 20m of rigorous exercise a day no matter what. I prefer in the morning right after waking up. There's less resistance at that time and afterwards you can open yourself up to whatever you want to do with the rest of your day knowing you've taken care of yourself. I prefer yoga specifically this youtuber: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene Her "TRUE" and "DEDICATE" series have helped me greatly both physically and mentally.

Have you considered medication? Most people are very hesitant to go on an antidepressant or mood regulator. There's a lot of stigma that surrounds it. But at the worst you try one for a month and decide its not working and move on. The alternative (suicide) IS FAR WORSE and permanent. Please consider medication prior to any final step. There's a whole range that can be prescribed that can affect you differently, some can make you sleepy after taking them some can make you feel more awake. Talk to your primary care physician. They can typically administer a questionnaire and ask some supplemental questions that will help narrow down what will work for you. Don't let the medical cost be prohibitive. Typically this medication is cheap and can be prescribed after just an initial visit. Also request a full blood work up to check your Vitamin D and B and B12 levels, all these greatly contribute to depressed moods.

Finally I'll recommend a book that has helped me break away from the idea that I am what I feel/how I feel. https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhapp...

I hope this helps. You're not alone. Many have been in your shoes. Take care of yourself friend.

Re: Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

#50
post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is no switch to "turn off" depression. It's a long process. What has worked for me in the past is connecting to others. Take a class, refresh skills, join an outdoor club, find a meetup, either a programming meetup or even something else. Exercise is a cheap form of anti-depressants. I have also found finding or hiring a job coach (offering a post hiring fee) to be VERY helpful. Trying to lift oneself out of a…

It is possible to "turn it off" As you say, doing new hobbies, meeting people etc. They all trigger the "honeymoon phase". Your body literally creates chemicals that turn off any depression. The key would be for depressed people to keep changing it up and finding things they like instead of sticking with the same. The vicious cycle occurs because a depressed person doesn't bother looking for anything, so nothing chan…

I would say you are correct here, but some further clarity would help.

Depression doesn't have an off switch. When you are depressed for a long time your brain starts to rewire into those depressed patterns. So "turning it off" isn't really what's occurring, when you exercise or take medication, if anything its like a pause button. But hitting that pause button regularly can rewire you back to a normal state, but frequently adjusting your brain chemistry isn't enough. Which is why there's a high frequency of relapse with depression treated with medication.

You do correctly point out though that changing the relationship to moods and depression does help. Reorienting how you think about yourself and how you self-identify is critical to not falling backwards into depression mental patterns. The key is to realize that you are not your thoughts or feelings, they are merely an aspect of you and they change as frequently as the weather outside does.

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