Ask HN: How to cope with job hunting and depression?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? It sounds like you're basically "freaking out".

First off, take a step back and recalibrate yourself. I'll share some advice that works but sounds crazy.

1. Start waking up in the morning and remind yourself that you've succeeded in the past.

2. Tell yourself that you're good. I'm not joking, literally, tell yourself in the mirror. I did say some of this shit sounds crazy.

3. Be confident - if you lose confidence in yourself, so will everyone else.

4. Create a realistic road map of what you want. Chip away at it. Don't pause every day asking yourself "How far you've come since yesterday?" I do that when I'm trying to lose weight, and I tell you.. it takes 4 weeks to lose 8lbs. Hell, I can gain 8 pounds in a day.. wtf right? Success is the say way. Failure can happen overnight, but success takes time. Eventually, I will see more than just my toes and my toilet will thank me.

5. Get out of your house daily, open your windows and remember life naturally ends one day. So right now step up and play the game hard. I come to realize that no one will give a shit in 1,000 years about how great or how bad I was.. no one. And those that _might_, Fuck'em™ because I don't know who they are anyhow. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. Stop thinking and talking negative - You're creating some really be neural wiring in your head. Start rewiring your mind for success.

I'm not trying to save the world here or anything. My mom tells me you can't force anyone to change, only they can improve themselves. I know what it's like to deal with some shitty life events. I learned to care a lot less about my failures, enjoy my victors and really enjoy the journey.

Here's a taste of some shit I experienced. Raised by a mother who had 2 kids by 17. She got her ass beat daily at home by my father; who has AIDS. I lost over 8 friends to suicide (Uncle hung himself), 4+ from murder (one was raped and murdered in high school), a man who was like my father died on my 17th birthday of cancer, my brothers ex-girlfriend who he wanted to married died at 21 in a car wreck, I was homeless for 6 months (while working in IT.. long story and FYI the Holland Tunnel Hotel in New Jersey isn't a 4 out of 5 start rating like Yelp says.. trust me..), I slept on the floor from 17 until 25 because I had no bed, I worked two jobs to put my mom through college and went to trade school at night only to get a job programming for $30k a year and I can go on and on... BUT... no one really gives a shit.. I don't even care about the shit I been through because the past is immutable.

My life motto - Fuck'em™

Feel free to use my motto and when you find your way, send $1 to $rburton on Square Cash app. I'm just kidding about the send money. Pick your head up because your neck wasn't design to support a dangling head.

If you need any advice feel free to him me up on my username at the Google-0-Mail.

I like the TechLead's channel, too. He can be a little sarcastic at times, which may not be obvious if you only watch one or two of his videos.

Stay strong, you have the will. Please seek help if you keep having these thoughts. You should be able to find free help on that matter.

Practicing sport keeps my mind focused and the negative thoughts away. I find it a great free anti depressant.

I subscribed to Indeed Prime, they offer free coaching (resume help, mock interviews...). With your background, you should be selected.

Have you got feedbacks from employers?

Did you apply to unemployment? Can you take a side job in the meantime (e.g. Uber)?

Don’t overload yourself and do a little everyday.

There is no switch to "turn off" depression. It's a long process. What has worked for me in the past is connecting to others. Take a class, refresh skills, join an outdoor club, find a meetup, either a programming meetup or even something else. Exercise is a cheap form of anti-depressants.

I have also found finding or hiring a job coach (offering a post hiring fee) to be VERY helpful.

Trying to lift oneself out of a downward spiral is extremely difficult.

Do you want to talk?