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Why I hate the weekends (2017)

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Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#331

Post by Broken_Hippo »

Sophistifunk wrote: post #329
matwood wrote: post #293

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You need to find some type of exercise you like to do. You mention that you like creative activities. Many studies show creativity spikes during and after physical activity. At worst, look at the end goal of being healthy physically and mentally and derive joy from exercising. For me, exercising is like breathing. It is not about liking/disliking, it's about doing because it is how the body works.

Good for you. Some people hate doing it, but know they should. So whatever helps them get through it don't knock it.

Exactly this.

I've never, ever found something I enjoy doing for extended periods of time. There is even less out there that you can do if you happen to be poor.

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#332

Post by Broken_Hippo »

eeZah7Ux wrote: post #283
Broken_Hippo wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are seriously looking down on the folks with their phones? How else are folks supposed to overcome the absolute drudgery and hate they have for the activity they are doing? I'd argue these folks are more motivated than the folks like you: Regardless for their hate for the activity, they are still doing it. It is the same reason I have headphones with some sort of entertainment when I walk or use treadmills. The s…

> How else are folks supposed to overcome the absolute drudgery and hate they have for the activity they are doing? By trying some other activity instead of wasting their time and other people's.

So, someone being active on a stationary bicycle while reading is wasting someone else's time somehow?

I've never found an enjoyable workout activity. The closest I've come to it being bearable is walking as transportation - and sometimes that leads me to staying home rather than do social things. It is horrible without headphones and horrible in the rain or snow.

All of these "workouts" and "exercise" have mind-numbing boredom as a side dish.

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#333

Post by Broken_Hippo »

matwood wrote: post #293
Broken_Hippo wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are seriously looking down on the folks with their phones? How else are folks supposed to overcome the absolute drudgery and hate they have for the activity they are doing? I'd argue these folks are more motivated than the folks like you: Regardless for their hate for the activity, they are still doing it. It is the same reason I have headphones with some sort of entertainment when I walk or use treadmills. The s…

You need to find some type of exercise you like to do. You mention that you like creative activities. Many studies show creativity spikes during and after physical activity. At worst, look at the end goal of being healthy physically and mentally and derive joy from exercising. For me, exercising is like breathing. It is not about liking/disliking, it's about doing because it is how the body works.

I've never, ever found an exercise I like doing. Never. None of that stuff actually motivates me to the point of joy. It merely means I'll do the drudgery a bit longer. The end goal is even more laughable since I'm going through tests for MS right now - it is very likely that I'm doing the stuff for nothing.

The creative stuff is simply someone being bored doing a repetitive. It is the same reason folks get creative in the shower or while driving. You can also learn things to be more creative. There may be a slight edge to the extra blood flow, but I'm not sure that is backed scientifically like the boredom is.

Face it, some people simply hate this sort of thing.

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#334

Post by muse900 »

will_work4tears wrote: post #219
muse900 wrote: post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Moderation in all things" - Aristotle Like others I think you should see a therapist about it. Work - Gym - Netflix, misses so many things from reaching a balanced life. A person needs to interact with others apart from their work and gym. Also I do understand that through e.g Netflix you are sort of interacting with 'others' points of views etc e.g getting emotional about your favourite character etc. Thing is that…

Nobody wants to interact with me, can't speak for the grandparent, but not everybody has the same options as everybody else. With me, people have a visceral reaction of extreme dislike upon first meeting me, so I have to work twice as hard, and when "friendship" is so ephemeral it's a lot of work for little long term reward, tbh.

I was in the exact same position. Growing up and playing online games, spending most of my time with people that were obnoxious douches - cause who cares its the internet (and they were older), shaped me to be an obnoxious douche too. 18 to 20 it was all time low for me. Apart from being very obese, I just didn't care about anyone I'd meet in real life. I'd put up a wall and anytime I'd meet someone I would feel like they don't like me etc.

Difference between you and me is that I worked heavily on it. I understood that I need to be more open to conversations and more kind. Also that not everyone speaks the online gaming culture language I do, people would not laugh at my brutal jokes cause not everyone plays games out there or has been subjected to trolling etc, and not everyone would diminish things so easily as I and other gamers would do. I lost all the extra weight and anytime the obnoxious douche would try to come out and be weird or mean to people I'd say no to him. If it did happen and I was a douche to someone, which can happen even today after many years I'd own up to it and be sorry and ask for forgiveness.

Nothing in this life is a given and yes some people like me and you have to put extra work in order to make things happen. Its totally doable though.

I'd also suggest you to find a therapist that you like and can trust and get some help on it.

Hope that helps you on your quest.

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#335

Post by pezo1919 »

rofo1 wrote: post #273
seibelj wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should definitely see a therapist, you sound clinically depressed. Laying in bed all weekend is not healthy. Making friends and having lasting relationships takes effort but is a requirement to have a happy and fulfilling life (excluding total hermits who are perfectly happy ignoring family, friends, and social contact, and some of those people do exist on HN and will argue with this comment). You have a career,…

"Requirement" is too strong a word. We've all read the Harvard 75 years old study [0] probably here, cause it was posted couple of times on HN, but I for one side with Chamfort: "Happiness is very difficult to find in yourself, but impossible to find someplace else" I've felt this way all my life, even before I read Chamfort. I always valued quality relationships with people, not just any relationship with anyone. To…

"It's very hard to find good, well-mannered people with moral integrity. At least it is for me. And based on everything I see around me, those people are just rare. Most people tolerate each other, instead of actively wanting to be friends/whatever with each other. I don't fully understand why that is. But is just is. I'm curious to see other's thoughts on this subject, though."

So much of this, I feel that 100%. And people who are like-minded to me feel the same. I think I have 6-7 people/friends like that, it took me time to find them, and I said many times no to "regular ok" people who are not ok to me. Additionally (don't take it too seriously) people who say they don't like people in general (like me :D ) are the ones who I like and who "do have a bar" at all.

To me it seems like most people are not in "real friendships " just accidentally sharing similar background in a space and time so they benefit some of the pros of having a "regular" relationship (eg. friendship).

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#336

Post by pezo1919 »

SZJX wrote: post #286
rofo1 wrote: post #273

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Requirement" is too strong a word. We've all read the Harvard 75 years old study [0] probably here, cause it was posted couple of times on HN, but I for one side with Chamfort: "Happiness is very difficult to find in yourself, but impossible to find someplace else" I've felt this way all my life, even before I read Chamfort. I always valued quality relationships with people, not just any relationship with anyone. To…

Exactly. I feel like I've had enough bad companies/relationships to be really content just to be on myself. And I feel so, so much better off with it. I have total tranquility of mins and can concentrate on what I'm passionate about, instead of being always upset, disappointed or have my attention taken away and all that. I still actively engage in online communities and this makes me happy. Also I maintain occasiona…

"I feel like I've had enough bad companies/relationships to be really content just to be on myself. And I feel so, so much better off with it."

Yep. Bad companies/relationships also reserve "space & time" and the "need" of possible new ones.

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#337

Post by rofo1 »

pezo1919 wrote: post #335
rofo1 wrote: post #273

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Requirement" is too strong a word. We've all read the Harvard 75 years old study [0] probably here, cause it was posted couple of times on HN, but I for one side with Chamfort: "Happiness is very difficult to find in yourself, but impossible to find someplace else" I've felt this way all my life, even before I read Chamfort. I always valued quality relationships with people, not just any relationship with anyone. To…

"It's very hard to find good, well-mannered people with moral integrity. At least it is for me. And based on everything I see around me, those people are just rare. Most people tolerate each other, instead of actively wanting to be friends/whatever with each other. I don't fully understand why that is. But is just is. I'm curious to see other's thoughts on this subject, though." So much of this, I feel that 100%. And…

> "Additionally (don't take it too seriously) people who say they don't like people in general (like me :D ) are the ones who I like and who "do have a bar" at all."

Chamfort, again, put it more eloquently than I can: "If you aren't misanthrope by age 40, you never liked the world anyway"

I guess the initial shock for me was that people know what they are doing and what kind of harm/pain they are causing, and at every step of the way they choose to do it. I've seen this all around me and I've experienced some of it myself and I just don't understand why is it so. There really isn't a need for it, people like and choose to do it. That's kinda scary to me.

Once you start thinking about this subject, you will inevitably realize the same, as a plethora of philosophers did earlier and since always, basically.

The only people content with the situation seem those that never started thinking about it anyway. Ignorance is a bliss? :)

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#338

Post by grecy »

asdff wrote: post #326
grecy wrote: post #264

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Why can't we just work less? You can. Anyone that says you can't hasn't tried hard enough. Ask your boss. Tell them you want a better work-life balance, tell them it's really important to you and that it's something you will prioritize. Work 4 days a week and get 4/5th of the pay. Step down to 3 days a week later. If your boss won't come at it, find one that will. Your time is so much more important than more money…

There are a lot of industries where if you aren't at work before and after the boss is and aren't there 50+ hours and promptly answering calls and emails all weekends, you will not ever be promoted. A lot of my friends in finance are going through an existential crisis due to the weight that this mandatory brown nosing has on their well being, despite the decent pay. A lot of them feel trapped in their job, that they…

You're right that you may not get promoted. If your time is more valuable to you than money, why does it matter?

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#339

Post by therealdrag0 »

eeZah7Ux wrote: post #315
mavhc wrote: post #17

We moved from a 7 day working week to a 6 day working week about 2000 years ago, and to 5 days about 100 years ago, it's time to move to 4 days. In addition the 5th day should be used for lifelong education, people should be expected to learn about all the new things that have been invented since they left school, or refresh what they're not good at.

In many rural societies work and leisure were constantly intermixed. An craftsman/shopkeeper/farmer could spend 110 hours a week on the workplace while doing 20 hours of active work.

I think this is a good point and shows how there is more depth and complexity to the conversation. I find that my work isn't as draining as it could be, but part of that is I often spend over an hour a day chit-chatting with coworkers at work. If it's not all meetings-go-go-build-go-go, then work can be quite pleasant, while still being productive.

And given the problem of loneliness that is arising, it might be less smart to reduce the work week (giving people more time to be alone), than to just make work less intense and forgiving. I.e, I suspect 56.5h is better than 48h.

Re: Why I hate the weekends (2017)

#340

Post by lukas099 »

nathan_f77 wrote: post #64
AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You need to save a few million dollars to retire with $40-$80k in investment income. You need a lot less than a few million dollars if you're willing to live at a more reasonable retirement income. I mean, you won't have to commute anymore, or buy all those services that did things you never had time for, or pay for daycare, or live in an overpriced city, etc. Hell if you move to a country with a lower cost of livi…

A conservative "safe withdrawal rate" is about 3.5%, so you need around $1.1M invested in index funds in order to have $40k income per year. I'm living in Thailand, and $40k goes a long way. Many people would be happy with this lifestyle, but it's not quite enough for me, and I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life here. I'd much rather have $80-100k and live somewhere like Toronto. But to each their own.

I live in the DC area on $20k a year, and I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

It took me a while to build this frugal-yet-fulfilling lifestyle, but it was so worth it.

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