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Why I feel like a fraud

blog.asmartbear.com

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Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#11

Post by patio11 »

danilocampos wrote: post #7

Holy shit. I thought this was just me. I spend a lot of time churning on this. I'm a little shell-shocked at the revelation that others feel this way too. I wish I had something more compelling to contribute than catharsis, but... wow, thanks for (re-)submitting this.

Me too, for what it is worth. At least three times this year half my brain was screaming "They're going to find out any second now!. Flee, flee!"

It all worked out.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#13

Post by dholowiski »

I struggle with this often: I KNOW I'm not as smart/talented/capable as other people think I am, especially at programming. I haven't been programming for that long, and it takes me an hour to write something that should take me 10 minutes to write.

However, my skills continue to amaze my peers (who are all non-technical) and they think I'm a genius because I can build a web site with a login form, or register a domain name.

It's really hard to reconcile the two things, especially since, eventually I will be a 'real' programmer, but I still won't think I'm any good.

That being said, it drives me crazy when people call themselves an 'expert' in everything. Just because you read a book, and wrote a few blog posts doesn't make you an expert!

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#19

Post by nadam »

I sometimes feel that I wasted all my years because I was developing quite diverse applications, so I am not an expert of anything. For example I am writing a Java to Scala translator now. I hate that I was dealing with completely other topics when I could have done Phd in programming languages and could have worked on compilers all the time. There is a company founded in 1995 working on source code analysis, translation, etc... I felt the same way when I developed a 3D game, when I developed Java web apps at my workplace, etc... I feel that I am not an expert of anything. That if I gave a lot of time to one topic (years) then I would be much much better than I am now. I feel like a fraud because I have to pretend that I am a specialized expert of one topic, but in reality I am a jack-of-all-trades programmer.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#20

Post by allenp »

throwaway111222 wrote: post #10
danilocampos wrote: post #7

Holy shit. I thought this was just me. I spend a lot of time churning on this. I'm a little shell-shocked at the revelation that others feel this way too. I wish I had something more compelling to contribute than catharsis, but... wow, thanks for (re-)submitting this.

I'm there too. I often measure myself against the fact that Einstein invented the theory of relativity in his early 20s. Meanwhile, I'm 30 now with a Masters degree in CS that I feel is worthless, writing what amounts to string concatenating programs all day at work. The only thing that keeps me sane, really, is a combination of doing iphone development after hours and playing with arduino. It also helps that I have…

+1 on the recognition of having a supportive spouse - this is a huge factor in my motivation and lack of depression. I know what you mean about comparing yourself to someone accomplished. I keep this as a google document for when I need a reminder to keep going:

A list of Abraham Lincoln’s Failures:

- Lost job, 1832

- Defeated for legislature, 1832

- Failed in business, 1833

- Elected to legislature, 1834

- Sweetheart (Ann Rutledge) died, 1835

- Had nervous breakdown, 1836

- Defeated for Speaker, 1838

- Defeated for nomination for Congress, 1843

- Elected to Congress, 1846

- Lost renomination, 1848

- Rejected for Land Officer, 1849

- Defeated for Senate, 1854

- Defeated for nomination for Vice-President, 1856

- Again defeated for Senate, 1858

- Elected President, 1860

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