Unfortunately something like this would never come to market, but I use a laptop that comes close enough for my needs. My current portable is a HP Elite X2 1011 G1 (yep that's a mouthful), it's a previous generation version of their current 1012 G2 product. It's a Surface-style convertible that is as fast as a typical business desktop machine, with 8GB of RAM and a 256GB M.2 SSD onboard. The keyboard base has 2x USB3, a SmartCard slot, full size DisplayPort output, some sort of HP proprietary dock connector, a TRRS headset jack, and an internal battery. The tablet portion doesn't have any ports other than a TRRS headset jack, but it does have a Wacom stylus as well as a MicroSD slot and onboard LTE celluar data (I'm using a Ting GSM SIM with that).
Using it as a laptop I get 12+ hours of battery life. It draws from the keyboard battery first, so you can run that dry and still have 5 to 6 hours of battery in the tablet, making it an all day machine. It's only slightly bigger than my last convertible, an ASUS Transformer Pad, and much more powerful.
It doesn't have the wide range of ports in this article, but then nothing out there does. If I need VGA/DVI/HDMI I can carry a DisplayPort cable with those ends, and if I need Ethernet I can carry a USB3 to Gigabit adapter. Both would fit in the slim case I kept from the Transformer.