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What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

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Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#51

Post by worldstarhiphop »

mcguire wrote: post #22
sparrish wrote: post #2

Just like a narcissist to write a post about himself.

" Since I’ve been diagnosed with it, I’ve done everything I can to get familiar with the concept of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. I became somewhat of a specialist myself... " Yeah... Also, advertising. " The fact that I did a lot of research on narcissism provides me with a side job that I make money from. I can help people that have problems related to NPD, or people being victimized by someone…

It's really not that hard to believe. You can learn a lot just obsessing over your own diagnosis.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#53

Post by philwelch »

DanBC wrote: post #35
philwelch wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a more nuanced debate about the degree to which many personality disorders (particularly Cluster B disorders) don't qualify as a mental illness for another reason. You are considered mentally ill if you have cognitive and behavioral patterns that harm yourself . If your cognitive and behavioral patterns harm other people but leave you relatively unscathed, that's arguably not mental illness.

Where are you getting that definition from please, because it's not one I recognise.

While I can't find a source, it's a relatively common standard that I've seen used in multiple places, including in the psychology classes that I took (or sometimes dropped in on) in college.

The distinction is most useful because many mental illnesses aren't necessarily qualitatively different than "normal" or "healthy" human behavior and cognition; they're just more extreme versions. For example, normal people regularly engage in compulsive rituals, and engaging in these rituals is sometimes beneficial to them--consider a baseball player's ritual at stepping up to the plate, or a basketball player's ritual when stepping up to the free throw line. But if you start engaging in rituals that are a little too compulsive and too disruptive to "living a normal life", that's when it crosses the line into obsessive-compulsive disorder.

However, even if you can life a "normal" and successful life, that doesn't mean you aren't harming the people around you, unless you harm them enough that the long-term social consequences end up hurting you. Most cluster B personality disorders end up with the disordered person alienating people and suffering the consequences of their antisocial behavior. But if you're a high-functioning narcissist or whatever and you get away with everything...?

Here's a rather snarky example of this standard being applied to a certain alleged narcissist (whose name I'll redact in my quote, below, since this person's identity is a bit of a distraction from the more general point): https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/14/opinion/an-eminent-psychi...

> Most amateur diagnosticians have mislabeled > with the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. I wrote the criteria that define this disorder, and > doesn’t meet them. He may be a world-class narcissist, but this doesn’t make him mentally ill, because he does not suffer from the distress and impairment required to diagnose mental disorder. > causes severe distress rather than experiencing it and has been richly rewarded, rather than punished, for his grandiosity, self-absorption and lack of empathy.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#54

Post by jondubois »

fzeroracer wrote: post #43
jondubois wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that the vast majority of people (narcissist or not) will never do something unless they personally benefit from it in some way. Everything that people do is for themselves. Even when people give money to charity; they do it because it makes them feel good. I think that maybe the difference between a narcissist and an altruist is that a narcissist doesn't derive any positive emotions from helping others.

I disagree, I personally believe it's possible for people to be altruistic entirely for the sake of altruism. Making themselves feel good is secondary to the altruistic action. And I think that's what differs between a narcissistic action and an altruistic one. Narcissists absolutely can and do derive positive emotions from helping others, but it's either entirely to help their own self-worth and/or achieve a certain…

You may not realize it consciously, but writing this comment probably made you feel (at least slightly) good about yourself.

Not consciously realizing that helping others feels good doesn't mean that you're more of an altruist.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#55

Post by philwelch »

epicureanideal wrote: post #47
DanBC wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My therapist has explained the biggest issue about PDs: the disorders make a person extremely unlikely to seek out help Sounds like a completely shit therapist, because the vast majority of people with BPD know full well they have a problem and are desperately seeking help for it.

What do you base this statement on? Are you confusing BPD (borderline personality disorder) with bipolar disorder? BPD and NPD, based on several psychology books I've read, including the very good book Schema Therapy, are very unlikely to seek treatment.

Most cluster B personality disorders inflict the bulk of the suffering and anxiety, not on the person with the disorder, but on those around them. Most of the suffering experienced by someone with this disorder comes as an indirect consequence as they alienate themselves from others. Making matters worse, cluster B disorders tend to cognitively predispose people to avoid any kind of self-blame or self-criticism.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#56

Post by gerbilly »

andrewstuart wrote: post #52

I'd be interested to hear, anyone reading this, if you know someone who tends to behave in a narcissistic way, exactly what are they doing that you see as narcissistic?

Using you as a 'sidekick' so that they can bask in their reflected greatness.

They prop up their self esteem by surrounding themselves with people who provide them with admiration.

Often narcissistic people are exceptionally talented, successful or intelligent, so they are able to get people to become their followers.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#57

Post by clairity »

toufiqbarhamov wrote: post #8
zamalek wrote: post #7

There's a good chance my brother suffers from borderline personality disorder. My therapist has explained the biggest issue about PDs: the disorders make a person extremely unlikely to seek out help, as (to put it poorly) they believe the problem exists with the people around them and not themselves. This means that very little is understood, medically, about the disorders and how to treat them effectively. The autho…

There is also a healthy debate over the degree to which personality disorders represent a true disorder, or just an extreme personality on the edges of normal distribution. If you consider it in those terms, then “treatment” amounts to having someone voluntarily attempt to change their personality at a fundamental level. Even if they wanted to, how likely is that to succeed? All too often treatment for personality di…

in general i'm skeptical that the medicalization of these kinds of idiosyncrasies is helpful. implicit to that process is normalization (defining the normal and the abnormal), and that by itself causes psychological and social pain for the so-called abnormal. we each have our crosses to bear (in all kinds of abilities, including mental and physical) and medicalization can give a false sense of understanding, treatability, and absolution of personal responsibility.

tangentially, on a population level evolution happens on the margins and medicalization can only dampen that process (not that this is important on a personal level).

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#58

Post by gerbilly »

dsabanin wrote: post #13

I think a lot of what this person describes about their thinking process and life patterns is actually going on in everyone's brain, but with less awareness of it. The irony is, I guess, that the narcissist part is only the part that actually making him think that these patterns are somehow special or unique to him.

All mental disorders are made of up behaviours, and mental processes that are common to everyone, just taken to an extreme.

It usually starts to be considered a disorder when it starts to interfere with functioning, or maintaining healthy relationships.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#59

Post by xenihn »

jacobolus wrote: post #44
drb91 wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, if functioning and fluorishing is defined by conformity, this doesn’t seem very meaningful. Some personality disorders allow a high functioning career and social life. To be clear I am trying to illustrate the idea that a disorder seems inherently devilish to define.

Years ago I dated a woman with a “high functioning” career and from outside apparently normal social life who in retrospect was clearly BPD. She was very good at hiding her feelings during most casual interactions, and was clever and generous and fun to talk to when calm, but had almost a second personality which would come out when she became even slightly stressed which was bitter and entirely self-centered and ext…

I dated a high-functioning borderline as well. It was a horrible experience, but in retrospect I'm (kind of) grateful to have learned about personality disorders as a result. I guess I learned a lot about myself too.

I feel absolutely awful for people who date high-functioning borderlines and never learn about it. At least with the ones who are low-functioning, you absolutely know something is deeply wrong with them at all points in the relationship. With a high-functioning one, you second-guess yourself constantly.

I really do think there needs to be more general awareness about Cluster B personality disorders. The occurrence rate among the population is low, but the nature of the disorder means a high-functioning borderline establishes relationships with (and potentially harms) a large number of people. It's hard for victims to seek help when they don't even know the name or nature of what they're dealing with.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#60

Post by [deleted] »

philwelch wrote: post #53
DanBC wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Where are you getting that definition from please, because it's not one I recognise.

While I can't find a source, it's a relatively common standard that I've seen used in multiple places, including in the psychology classes that I took (or sometimes dropped in on) in college. The distinction is most useful because many mental illnesses aren't necessarily qualitatively different than "normal" or "healthy" human behavior and cognition; they're just more extreme versions. For example, normal people regu…

[deleted]
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