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To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

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Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#131

Post by DanBC »

geomark wrote: post #128
DanBC wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I didn't vote on that post, but it says that physical violence against a child can work. > I think when it comes down to basic physical means we have failed as people. It can work. Does sometimes. But there are costs, scars. Not physical ones so much.

You're probably right. It's pretty childish to upvote/downvote a comment because you have the same/different opinion rather than based on the value it adds to the conversation.

Suggesting that physical violence against children "works" is a low value contribution.

And you misunderstand the voting culture on HN.

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#132

Post by TravelTechGuy »

xupybd wrote: post #9

>“It’s sad, but the good news is there's a simple intervention — don't give report cards on Friday.” Yeah that avoids the one instance of child abuse but that's not the big picture here. How is it that there are that many people that struggle to cope that this is common enough to show up in this research. I feel for both the parents and the children here. If something like grades are causing the parents to lash out a…

If that's the approach they're taking, why not just cancel the day Friday all together?

Seriously, instead of finding and fighting the root causes of the problems, they treat the symptoms.

Reminds me of the old Jewish folk tale/joke: when people in the town of Chelem complained to the city council that many people fall off the broken town's bridge, the council got together, deliberated for a week, and decided to build a new hospital under the bridge.

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#133

Post by ceautery »

legionof7 wrote: post #7
seltzered_ wrote: post #2

Somewhat related, there was another article this week that mentioned kids (and parents) now get notifications sent over the phone of their grades: https://www.vox.com/first-person/2019/1/10/18174263/anxiety-... “As the retreat group started to tell me more about why they felt such a collective sense of stress and pressure, a few major themes emerged. All of them said they voluntarily get their grades pushed to their…

Yeah, I'm in high school right now and they have this system. They also had the same in middle school. There's no way this instant feedback system is mentally healthy. Also, a lot of times, teachers push a 0 as a placeholder grade and parents aren't in the classroom, so they see that and flip out. Also, with the notification system, both parents and students see each assignment grade in a bubble, so it affects them a…

The system should prevent 0 from being pushed as a notification. Each teacher or school should be forced to deal with 0 in some other way, preferably erring on the side of helping students, rather than punishing them.

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#134

Post by ip26 »

geofft wrote: post #49
xupybd wrote: post #9

>“It’s sad, but the good news is there's a simple intervention — don't give report cards on Friday.” Yeah that avoids the one instance of child abuse but that's not the big picture here. How is it that there are that many people that struggle to cope that this is common enough to show up in this research. I feel for both the parents and the children here. If something like grades are causing the parents to lash out a…

> If something like grades are causing the parents to lash out at the kids it's a sign that the parents are struggling to cope. I think that's starting from a mistaken premise. Why expect parents to cope? Parenting takes an amount of empathy and patience and care that many people simply do not have and will not have. In pre-modern society the nuclear family made sense, but at what point do we say, being someone's bio…

We don't have a strong alternative. You are tasked with providing for your progeny in no small part simply because no one else will.

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#135

Post by Markoff »

what is it report card? when i was young we had books with grades we were taking home every day, so parents could follow progress and see our grades every day, nowadays grades are published online do parents can check them whenever they want

is this another case of some archaic american technology?

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#136

Post by lostmyoldone »

daodedickinson wrote: post #10
daodedickinson wrote: post #5

>She and her colleagues suspect that the increase is due to children being physically punished for their grades, “but it might be something else we don't know about,” she said. Fucking duh. How could they have this statistic be accurate at all but not have anyone ask any of the kids? We would have told them "FUCKING DUH". Got into a #1 grad program for my major, dropped out because by then my parents chilled out I re…

Not like kids won't get beat on a weekday, but if my mom was mad on a weekend I would have to hide under the bed all weekend and stay silent so she wouldn't be reminded I existed. Glad somebody loves to vote down abused kids here, thanks.

You seem to be in a bad place, I hope you don't get stuck there. I know how hard change can be, there's nothing easy about it, and personally - I wouldn't have been able to even get started alone.

Maybe you have already tried it, but if you have the means, see if you can find a psychologist, or essentially any professional you feel is interested in listening, and be prepared to at least consider their words.

An bad environment can corrupt both how the world looks and how we see ourselves, that's why it's so important to get someone who can help you/us see again.

I any case, whenever you do throw off the tiniest part of what is keeping you down. Give yourself credit for it, and celebrate as a madman. Preferably as a respectful and kind madman, but give yourself credit.

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#137

Post by antsar »

ceautery wrote: post #133
legionof7 wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, I'm in high school right now and they have this system. They also had the same in middle school. There's no way this instant feedback system is mentally healthy. Also, a lot of times, teachers push a 0 as a placeholder grade and parents aren't in the classroom, so they see that and flip out. Also, with the notification system, both parents and students see each assignment grade in a bubble, so it affects them a…

The system should prevent 0 from being pushed as a notification. Each teacher or school should be forced to deal with 0 in some other way, preferably erring on the side of helping students, rather than punishing them.

Teachers already seem overworked. Wouldn’t they just invent a new magic number, maybe “1”?

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#138

Post by DeusExMachina »

> “It’s a pretty astonishing finding,”

Is it?

I was never abused, but my parents were definitely not pleased by bad school reports. It's not hard to imagine that people who look for excuses to abuse their children, do so after getting a school report.

Why is it so astonishing?

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#139

Post by padolsey »

kabouseng wrote: post #79
mirimir wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Of course. And punishment tends to produce damaged people, who hate themselves because they're bad. Because, you know, they must be bad, because they've been punished. And because they're bad, and hate themselves, they take it out on others, whenever they can get away with it. So it's a recursive cycle of punishment.

Citation needed for that statement. Corporal punishment has been a part of human societies for thousands of years, so you need stronger evidence for such a statement.

What's funny is that your comment alluding to the generational persistence of punishment indicates the very cyclic nature that you are seeking proof of. Its persistence does not prove its worthiness ('appeal to nature'), only its ability to survive as a trait. What we have to decide is, whatever the mechanism of its survival, what is its efficacy and moral value in today's society.

Re: To protect kids, don’t send report cards home on Fridays

#140

Post by matt4077 »

derp_dee_derp wrote: post #18
xupybd wrote: post #9

>“It’s sad, but the good news is there's a simple intervention — don't give report cards on Friday.” Yeah that avoids the one instance of child abuse but that's not the big picture here. How is it that there are that many people that struggle to cope that this is common enough to show up in this research. I feel for both the parents and the children here. If something like grades are causing the parents to lash out a…

Serious answer: love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. This will solve the problem on every level.

Looking at the states still condoning corporal punishment, it seems those god-lovers spend all their love on god, and have only the stick and paddle left over for their neighbors and children.
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