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Lies We Tell Kids

paulgraham.com

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Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#181

Post by r7000 »

sofal wrote: post #174
r7000 wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I were having a conversation with a friend I would prefer Prrometheus' comments to yours. If I were told in response to something I said: "Belief qua belief does not deserve respect", first of all I would think "Alright! Half-baked Latin! That justifies the price we paid for these coffees!" but also I would be happy to be given the chance to advance the conversation. I would have been given a choice either to expl…

I think you're right about that. I've made a few defensive comments in anticipation of and in reaction to antagonism. It's pretty weak of me to be defensive and reactionary in that way. I didn't intend it to insult or dismiss others' viewpoints, yet it did. Thanks for that comment.

Thanks for taking that in the way I intended. I think it is understandable. A "discussion" on the net can feel like a hundred people quickly walking by and taking a quick potshot rather than a genuine exchange of opinions.

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#182

Post by dfranke »

epi0Bauqu wrote: post #97
pg wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean post-war neighborhoods of tract houses build on spec by developers. I don't mean places that are merely geographically suburban, in the sense that they're less densely settled areas on the perimeters of cities. (In the US, practically all the less densely settled area on the perimeters of cities are neighborhoods built by developers, but in Europe there are older cities where this isn't true.)

A few short follow-up questions: 1) Is any "development" part of suburbia? 2) What if there were multiple developers building the houses? 3) What if it is x miles from a town center? 4) What if the owners built their own houses in the development? Let's get specific using the Boston area as an example. 5) Do you think any parts of Cambridge count as suburbia? 6) Do you think any of the following areas/towns count as…

> 7) if an area is just less densely settled does that make it just as unappealing as suburbia in your view?

If you'd seen Paul's west coast home, you'd know the answer to that :-)

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#184

Post by billroberts »

Isn't this rather off-topic for HN? It's a well-written interesting essay, as always from Paul Graham, but is it at the top of the list for any reason other than it is written by Paul?

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#185

Post by pchristensen »

r7000 wrote: post #167
pchristensen wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agreed that the essay could use more examples. I understand that the examples might seem silly in 100 years (or even 10), but it would have benefited from things like "In 2008, many parents told their kids X"

Is that not implied? We can assume an author is writing about the present and recent past unless told otherwise told.

In the notes, he mentions concern for how the readers 100 years from now will view his essays.

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#186

Post by rsheridan6 »

I can think of another reason for lying to kids: because everybody else does, and if your kid doesn't play along there are consequences. I am reminded of Roman Polanski, who was Jewish but was raised Catholic at an early age to protect him from the Nazis. He ended up becoming an actual Catholic, because you can't tell a four year old that he's really a Jew, but has to pretend to be a Catholic, because they're incapable of being that deceptive. I can't remember why he finally left the Church in his teens, but it was for something like a conflict with a priest, the kind of thing that lots of gentiles have the Church over.

If your kid curses, talks about how there are no worthy black scientists, tells other kid about how the penis squirts semen into the vagina and that's where babies come from, and denies the existence of God (I live in a red state, this one may not be a big deal where some of you live, but in some places this will still mark you as a pariah), then there are certain consequences, especially if the child does it in front of adults, because other parents aren't like that. Nothing as severe as a trip to Auschwitz, but I at least want my kid to understand tribal taboos before breaking them.

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#187

Post by epi0Bauqu »

dfranke wrote: post #182
epi0Bauqu wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A few short follow-up questions: 1) Is any "development" part of suburbia? 2) What if there were multiple developers building the houses? 3) What if it is x miles from a town center? 4) What if the owners built their own houses in the development? Let's get specific using the Boston area as an example. 5) Do you think any parts of Cambridge count as suburbia? 6) Do you think any of the following areas/towns count as…

> 7) if an area is just less densely settled does that make it just as unappealing as suburbia in your view? If you'd seen Paul's west coast home, you'd know the answer to that :-)

Where is it?

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#188

Post by rsheridan6 »

astine wrote: post #22

Does it count as a 'lie' if it is believed by the parent? The reason that parents don't want kids to swear is because they genuinely believe that it is wrong for some reason. The don't know the reason themselves, and so break the rule and become hypocrites, but they still believe that it is wrong and want their children to do better than they did. With regard to group identity (and religion,) most parents actually ad…

I teach my child not to swear because OTHER adults think there's something wrong with it. I truly don't give a fuck, but I don't want my son to be banned from his best friend's house because his mom heard him say "fuck."

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#189

Post by dfranke »

epi0Bauqu wrote: post #187
dfranke wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 7) if an area is just less densely settled does that make it just as unappealing as suburbia in your view? If you'd seen Paul's west coast home, you'd know the answer to that :-)

Where is it?

On a winding mountain road six miles from the nearest cross street.
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