The path to true happiness is to want for nothing.
The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
31–40 of 195 posts
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#32Like literally everything else, it's about balance. No, you shouldn't let the world dictate your choices every single day. But also you need to conform to some amount of societal standard. Social norms exist sometimes to keep society working and moving forward. As for happiness, if you are trying to 'get' happiness through external forces, you're never going to be happy. That's not a secret.
And sometimes the social norm's arent helpful. In the article, he makes it clear he rejects each norm mentioned specifically because he has reflected on it and found it non helpful, and at least slightly harmful (if only to individual autonomy and happyness). Saying norm's can help is a platitude, but when considered individually you might find most are only actually more beneficial then harmful very situationally.
Obviously. Saying norms can help is a platitude. So is saying they don't help with no thought. And that is what I believe most people take from articles like this one.
My problem with these sorts of articles that pop up every now and then is that folks tend to absorb less the 'evaluate your life in its own context' message, and instead hear 'you can be a hot weirdo with no repercussions'. Which is just flat wrong.
I fully agree with you that every person needs to evaluate their place in society and see whether their role is their role or just what they believe is expected. (completely separate tangent, I also believe more people should experience psychedelic drugs for this very reason)
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#33My job gives me a good paycheck, but isn't all that satisfying. It's varied over the years with some jobs being better than others, but overall I can't complain.
Marriage (because of the kids) has been much harder, and at times more stressful. But while I would trade my job in heartbeat, I wouldn't trade my family for anything.
I would definitely say that I'm happy. But like people have said above. Happiness is something you choose. You have to choose to recognize the blessings in life, of which I have many, and to deal with the stress and problems (which I also have plenty) as they come, without letting them rule you.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#34Money gave me stability. Stability allowed me to have time for introspection. Introspection allowed me to target issues in my life. Fixing those issues is lowering my discomfort in life. Money won't fix anything for you but it will provide you an environment where you can.
"Having money isn't everything. Not having money is everything"
- I forgot who first said this.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#35I don't seek money, have a job, or got married, or other social markers of success, to be happy.
I did it to thrive in society; it increases my and my family's chances of survival.
I'd be happier by myself, with enough money to live with, and without a job. Happiness is not the most important thing in my life.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#36Is happiness the right thing to aim for? Using words like "content", "satisfied", "meaning", "engagement", "accomplishment" or "purpose" can result in very different results.
The standard example is kids. Having kids, especially in a place without many social supports, such as the United States, results in a drop in perceived happiness, but an increase in satisfaction, which in the long term is better correlated with mental health.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#37"Everything in moderation, even moderation itself"
Walk The Middle Way
Your natural state is bliss and peace but your mind's thoughts and heart's vibration pull you out of that state because the real you, the soul, the observer, the atman become identified with them.
That's the great illusion - Maya.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#38Money gave me stability. Stability allowed me to have time for introspection. Introspection allowed me to target issues in my life. Fixing those issues is lowering my discomfort in life. Money won't fix anything for you but it will provide you an environment where you can.
>Money gave me stability.
The lows are very different when you have money and when you don't have money.
When you are struggling financially and a single event (e.g. car breaking down) can spiral into wrecking your entire life, you it's hard to "let go" of that.
When you are financially stable there are a lot of frustrations (e.g. work stress) you can learn to cope with, control, or let go of.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#39“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yours…
Not advocating hanging yourself, but it is something you will never regret since if done "successfully" you will cease to exist and therefore not be able to regret anything.
Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?
#40Overall I agree with the article, and would gladly trade my high paying job for one that I actually enjoy, as long as I could be sure that I can make ends meet. The one disagreement I have is the assertion that we should be happy making "just enough" money that we need. "just enough" can change due to circumstances outside our control, so earning more than enough gives you some cushion for when things don't go as pla…
> Overall I agree with the article, and would gladly trade my high paying job for one that I actually enjoy, as long as I could be sure that I can make ends meet.
I think research has found that people really overestimate how much "meaningful" or "enjoyable" employment is worth to them. Last I read, it was worth about 20% of one's salary on average, at least when you survey people.
To me, this makes sense. We have a limited number of days on this earth. If we're going to trade some of them for other resources, it's easy to see that you should get the best value for that trade possible. Anything less is basically giving away parts of your life.
Now that doesn't mean you should take a job that is actively unpleasant or unethical (although it explains why people do). But, personally, I can picture being significantly more satisfied with the day to day of my job. My current workplace is pleasant but not necessarily highly stimulating. On the other hand, it is highly compensated with good hours. That's the most important to me.