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The Hand Licking Incident

raisingfutureadults.blogspot.com

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Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#61

Post by bitexploder »

warent wrote: post #51
cryptonector wrote: post #47

It's so easy for parents (and teachers) to misdiagnose strange child behaviors. TFA is a wonderful example. Parents need to watch for things like blood sugar problems, autism (e.g., failure to make eye contact), skin problems, mild food allergies (why does the kid not like _fill in the blank_, maybe it's because it tastes "spicy" to them), and much else. Young children will not figure these things out by themselves.…

> "It might be interesting to collate a compendium of strange child behaviors with simple explanations, and other problems to watch out for." I couldn't disagree more. This seems like a step in the wrong direction. The last thing we need to do is label even more human behaviors than we already do into the bucket of "strange." Actually, even saying that parents need to "debug" these problems may be going too far. Huma…

Yet, many human behaviors are simple cause and effect. You don’t have to label it and the random things kids do would end up quite extensive. However, there is a definite need for parents to understand and help kids with detrimental behaviors. It is possible to do this without pressuring kids. When you are staring down a behavior like the author was and you have reached your capacity as a parent it can be very demoralizing. So, safe to say, parents need a “debugging” skill and human consciousness, especially at younger ages, while very vivid and complex, is also shockingly simple. Cause, effect, response from kid. Dry air, hands dry;hurt, make them not dry. I could go on, but, I think the spirit of the idea is correct. At times you just need to detach and analyze to help your kids out. Other times being organic and experimenting are great.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#62

Post by rootedbox »

Seems like something simple that one could have asked a doctor.. "My kid keeps licking their hands.. any ideas?"

Also even though the article the mother seems to think that they have gotten to root cause.. there may be more of a cause.

Dry hands is often because of the compulsive action of washing ones hands too much. So now there are 2 compulsions washing hands and licking hands to keep them dry.. By replacing licking hands with moisturizer you will still have 2 compulsions.. cleaning hands and moisturizing too much..

A 2 second google search will also bring up thousands of pages about kids licking hands.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#63

Post by random314 »

georgebarnett wrote: post #56
random314 wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You receive the special hacker news award for shittiest extrapolation - 2019.

If violence worked as a strategy, then it would work better the more of it was applied. Instead, what we see is that the more violence applied, the worse the outcome in the long run. This indicates it’s not a solution.

Clearly, you are no mathematician.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#64

Post by PhasmaFelis »

warent wrote: post #51
cryptonector wrote: post #47

It's so easy for parents (and teachers) to misdiagnose strange child behaviors. TFA is a wonderful example. Parents need to watch for things like blood sugar problems, autism (e.g., failure to make eye contact), skin problems, mild food allergies (why does the kid not like _fill in the blank_, maybe it's because it tastes "spicy" to them), and much else. Young children will not figure these things out by themselves.…

> "It might be interesting to collate a compendium of strange child behaviors with simple explanations, and other problems to watch out for." I couldn't disagree more. This seems like a step in the wrong direction. The last thing we need to do is label even more human behaviors than we already do into the bucket of "strange." Actually, even saying that parents need to "debug" these problems may be going too far. Huma…

I think it's a fallacy that labeling and categorizing automatically implies judgment and condemnation. Some weird child behaviors are harmless and should be ignored; some (like the one in the article!) may indicate actual problems that should be addressed. Either way, it doesn't seem obviously bad to give parents diagnostic information.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#65

Post by beaconstudios »

I tend to think that almost every time someone is doing something you don't understand or don't like, you're better off understanding the reason for the behaviour than trying to quash it. Even if you desperately want it to stop, they're clearly doing the thing as a means to address something so if you want to stop them using the current solution you should have a better solution to hand or the problem will once again be unaddressed and the behaviour will resume. You can't offer an alternative unless you know the cause in the first place. This approach makes sense for children (presumably above a certain age) and adults alike.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#67

Post by jerkstate »

rootedbox wrote: post #62

Seems like something simple that one could have asked a doctor.. "My kid keeps licking their hands.. any ideas?" Also even though the article the mother seems to think that they have gotten to root cause.. there may be more of a cause. Dry hands is often because of the compulsive action of washing ones hands too much. So now there are 2 compulsions washing hands and licking hands to keep them dry.. By replacing licki…

I took the article as more metaphorical than immediately practical. Not every behavior has an easily-googleable answer.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#68

Post by [deleted] »

dfgert wrote: post #57
cryptonector wrote: post #47

It's so easy for parents (and teachers) to misdiagnose strange child behaviors. TFA is a wonderful example. Parents need to watch for things like blood sugar problems, autism (e.g., failure to make eye contact), skin problems, mild food allergies (why does the kid not like _fill in the blank_, maybe it's because it tastes "spicy" to them), and much else. Young children will not figure these things out by themselves.…

I don't understand when will medicine recognize the cause of all health complications instead of trying to individually path each and every problem. People can then start correct precautionary measures. All health issues that we see on rise today were virtually absent in pre-industrial era and are directly result of our newly adopted habits and environment. We are paying so much of cost to live in a "modern" world.

[deleted]

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#69

Post by Nomentatus »

bitexploder wrote: post #3

Parenting is like that. As much as some people don’t want to admit it, operant conditioning is a thing. Humans are still mammals. Parenting gets simple when you can detach and not be caught up with your own ego. Barring abnormal psychology, kids are pretty fun to teach and watch grow. My one key lesson is, especially with younger kids, they aren’t doing whatever they are doing to cause me distress. Most of parenting…

Right, your job is to help the child grow and learn. Whether it looks - to other parents, teachers, etc. - like you are a good parent is very much beside the point, and usually a conflicting goal you need to detach yourself from. In fact, paying attention to that is narcissism. See Preacher's kid syndrome. Similarly, whether their behavior is impeccable today isn't the point, whether they're learning skills for tomorrow is the point.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#70

Post by beaconstudios »

rootedbox wrote: post #62

Seems like something simple that one could have asked a doctor.. "My kid keeps licking their hands.. any ideas?" Also even though the article the mother seems to think that they have gotten to root cause.. there may be more of a cause. Dry hands is often because of the compulsive action of washing ones hands too much. So now there are 2 compulsions washing hands and licking hands to keep them dry.. By replacing licki…

or ask the kid why they're licking their hands as the first step, then when they say their hands are dry solve that problem. If this doesn't cause the dry hands to peter out as the vicious cycle is interrupted, then see a doctor about your kid's excessively dry hands.
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