Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: What are your regrets?

news.ycombinator.com

41–50 of 72 posts

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the end of every person's life the one thing they'll have, no matter what, are the memories that they've made throughout their life.

Unfortunately, that's not the case. Watching someone and his family suffer through Alzheimer's is really tough.

It's not always the case, but I believe it is in the majority of situations it is.

I'm deeply sorry for what you went through though. Tough does not even begin to describe the utter destruction that Alzheimer puts a family through. My ex-girlfriend's father went through that. I can't easily put into words the absolute despair I felt watching him fade away from an outsider's perspective. I cannot, and hope I never can, imagine how she felt.

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#42
post #37

If I could live again my life, In the next one – I’d try to make more mistakes, I wouldn’t try to be so perfect, I’d be more relaxed, I’d be sillier than I’ve been, In fact, I’d take things much less seriously. I’d be less hygenic. I’d run more risks, take more trips, watch more sunsets. I’d climb more mountains, swim more rivers, I’d go to many more places where I’ve never been, I’d eat more ice cream and fewer peas…

The author of that appears to be Jose Luis Borges:

http://books.google.com/books?ei=zvzWTNPpKsT_nAf7j7DpCQ&...

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#43
post #16

Hmm, where shall I begin? I turned down an offer of admission from MIT. Granted, I had my reasons, and had I accepted, there's an inappropriately high probability I would've had to discontinue halfway through. I guess what I really regret is letting circumstances reach that point. What I really regret is things I didn't do. The girls I should have asked out. The musical instrument I didn't learn to play. I honestly w…

So how much of that are you going to change, starting today?

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#44
A few things I regret: -As a college student, I regret not learning how to program earlier -Not spending more time learning how to program (I am trying to remedy this) -Not taking as many risks (Mainly having to do with some girls in my life)

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#45
Regrets? I've had a few; but, then again, too few to mention.

I could regret having voluntarily foregone a normal childhood in favor of solitary intellectual and artistic pursuits, but then I wouldn't have had the foundation that later allowed my to do some really neat things for a living.

I could regret having dropped out of high school upon learning that I'd won enough in scholarships to attend Waterloo at a tidy profit just before graduation, but I'd probably be complaining about the idiots I have to lecture when I'm rudely dragged away from my hunt for a generalized solution to the n-sphere packing problem (which will, of course, be crucial to the moving industry when humanity evolves beyond the constraints of three-dimensional meatspace).

I could regret the ethical quagmire that was my military service, particularly around the time of the Oka crisis in Quebec, but I would have to do without the discovery that I am a rather good teacher of matters mathematical and technical, and that I can speak publicly with confidence about things that matter to me.

I could regret drinking myself half to death trying to solve the question of how to appear to be social while remaining comfortable in my solitude, but without a truly desperate need to save my life, I never would have been able to overcome the voluntary, learned autism I developed in childhood.

As jacobroufa said in an earlier comment, if I were to change any of that, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I have had a life that is nearly beyond imagining. I'm a high school dropout (I never did finish, or even get a GED) who has taught electricty/electronics and mathematics at college. I'm a "failed" musician (I sold six records -- not six different albums; six paid-for copies of my one and only album) who, as a utility sideman, played gigs with some of my heroes in the jazz and blues world. When educational funding dried up in Ontario during the '90s recession, I found that the only postion available for an ex-military high school dropout was shining shoes, and that drove me to but an obsolete computer and teach myself to program. It took a while (years) to meet my own admittedly high standards and to break into the industry at all as a n00b pushing forty, but I became a highly Googleable entity (once you figure out how to filter out the dead folk singer with whom I share a name) and had a reputation for innovative thinking within my little niche (Notes and Domino -- please hold the comments; the platform is much better than most of the applications written for it). No shoeshine boy, no Google hits. I've loved and been loved in return; I've had my heart broken and experienced loss -- and become more human in the process. I have a tremor disorder with an associated dementia now (and hang around places like this and Stack Overflow to stave off the decline as long as I can -- it beats doing the crossword), and suffer intermittent aphasia that sort of alternates between Broca- and Wernicke-associated damage patterns and am hugely unreliable due to physical incapacitation, yet I'm still asked to give motivational talks on a regular basis. (Yes, by people who have heard me before.)

We can spend a lifetime regretting the path not taken, and another worrying about the consequences of the next choice. But always keep in mind the sage advice of Yogi Berra: when you come to a fork in the road, take it. Read as a mere Yogism, it may seem inane, but if you really give it some consideration (as Yogi did before he said it) you'll find that it is an admonition to avoid the paralysis of indecision. There may come a time when you wonder what might have been down the other path, but standing at the point of choice, tossing coins for the rest of your life means going nowhere and doing and learning nothing.

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#46
post #31
post #15

I've loved 2 wonderful women over the last 9 years since high school, but missed out on ever being single and all that entails (one night stands, etc). I just hope that doesn't haunt me when I'm middle aged.

Trust me you're not missing anything at all. If I actually had any regrets is doing the single thing too much and going overboard too many times.

He needs to find out for himself that he's not missing anything...btw he IS missing a LOT. Being Single and being in a relationship affect your lifestyle in different ways, and everyone should take time to enjoy both.

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#47
post #42
post #37

If I could live again my life, In the next one – I’d try to make more mistakes, I wouldn’t try to be so perfect, I’d be more relaxed, I’d be sillier than I’ve been, In fact, I’d take things much less seriously. I’d be less hygenic. I’d run more risks, take more trips, watch more sunsets. I’d climb more mountains, swim more rivers, I’d go to many more places where I’ve never been, I’d eat more ice cream and fewer peas…

The author of that appears to be Jose Luis Borges: http://books.google.com/books?ei=zvzWTNPpKsT_nAf7j7DpCQ&...

It's often misattributed to Borges. It was written (in prose) by columnist Don Herold in 1953 for the _Reader's Digest_. Since then it underwent several changes, has been attributed to several authors, was broken into a verse form, was translated to Spanish, acquired a Spanish title, "Instantes", was then re-translated back into English often retaining the Spanish title...

It's lived a long and colorful life. But Borges didn't write it.

There's a detailed study of this poem's history at http://www.borges.pitt.edu/bsol/iainst.php. It's in Spanish, but Google Translate can give you the gist of it in English.

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#48
I reget not checking my email in July 2009.

Yesterday, I decided that 61 unread messages was too much, so I went through them.

In July 2009, Facebook emailed me suggesting I give them a quick call to discuss my "career goals/ambitions and opportunities at facebook". For real.

I was right in the middle of my degree, super busy with my final project, and... somehow it must have just slipped past me.

Although, as one of my friends commented:

Look at it this way: It's not like you're a worse developer since then.

Re: Ask HN: What are your regrets?

#50
Nights I stayed in during school so I could "do work" when my friends wanted me to go out.

Basically any time I let paranoid thoughts of "I have to do work" prevent me from growing my relationships with others.

Post reply on HN