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Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

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Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#41

I learned that withdrawing into yourself when an asshole treats your poorly is the wrong thing to do. Shutting out may feel comfortable and safe, but leaves you unaccustomed to dealing with emotional disturbances. It makes you soft. If you are upset by someone else, it's only because you've let their negativity into you, so to speak. The world has an endless supply of assholes, and tomorrow you may face another one.…

This is interesting because in addition to "flight // fight" there is also "freeze" which sounds a bit like what you are talking about.

Learning how to overcome "freeze" as a reaction may be a good idea in some situations.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I absolutely have. The four part series between the two was enthralling. I'm not sure how you could you think logic, rationally, and objective truth seeking go out the window in Jordan's case. I know that sentence is a shibboleth of the secular community, I've said it myself. But it's just inaccurate. With Sam it's funny. He says he wants to extract the good from the past and in the same breath rejects the good in re…

I’m glad you watched the series. It’s iffy, I think religion is a good bridge to morality, with the storytelling, metaphors, and whatnot. I just don’t buy this as “truth”. We have to consider that morality is not real and it’s a human/social construct to encourage desirable and cooperative behavior. I’m happy that we did create moral and ethical values though, it’s an excellent way to further the human race and ensur…

One more thing: there's an important distinction I should make more clear: tragedy and hell.

Tragedy is your environment. Its the tornado, or whirlwind [in which the God of the story of Job appears]. It's car accidents and health problems and kidnappings. These can lay you low. But the wrong thing to do in the despair of tragedy is to blame your foundation for them.

Hell, you create. You own it. You acheive it. It's your fault. And your foundation is the cause. Reevaluate when you find yourself in hell. It's the only hope of a way out.

You know, people, including myself before I understood, like to cite Matthew 19, the famous "eye of a needle" admonishment, as evidence that Christ wants you to be ascetic and Christians aren't real Christians. What a careless and ham fisted reading. When I returned to that scripture with the eye of (a) first taking it seriously, and (b) taking it in context that scripture teaches me about myself, it became very clear.

A rich man comes to Christ and asks, more or less, "I believe and am doing the things you said but haven't acheived peace yet. What should I do?" Christ says to sell your riches and try again. The teaching of this scripture is that if you find yourself approximating Hell, look into yourself and find your highest aim. If that aim, your highest ideal, is not God, strike it down. It's not working for you. Reevaluate. When it's your fault.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#44
post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People with empathy naturally don't want to inflict unnecessary pain on other people. Sure, you could argue that empathy is a human construct, but then you might argue that the very nature of our reality has been evolutionarily hewn to maximize our species survival. And you'd probably be right. But does that allow you to escape the nature of our reality? No, not if you yourself are human. Being able to offset our per…

Nihilism may be too extreme, but we need to discern what parts of society are man-made (laws, ethics, morality...all principles that we generally converge and agree on to be civilized and orderly) vs. objective reality. Calling laws, ethics, and morality absolute or divine truths only serves our own ego. It’s dangerous and misleading when religion defines human constructs as truths, since they are only characteristic…

I don't quite take your point. There are truths about being a human. Psychological realities of how the human brain works in ways that are distressing to someone who assumes they have control and are capable of being objective when they think they are being objective.

Then there are ways of dealing with those truths. They cannot be right or wrong, because the fitness of those ways depends on what you're optimizing for. And there are many different things to optimize for which have no objective way to weigh them as such.

I can say to you that the best society is one that emphasizes maximally the consequences of what you choose, while deemphasizing maximally that which you do not choose. I can point to Christianity and capitalism and the West in general as systems that align with that aim and, empirically, have the highest standard of living.

But that's not objective. All I can do is say what you should do in my estimation of what I think will maximize your fulfillment in your own life in the long term.

The Bible is a guide built on thousands of years of people trying to figure out what our aim should be, and how we should act in accordance with that aim.

It's fine to reject it. But there is no objective discovery to be made in this realm. You must choose your subjective values for yourself. And if the world is just, you must experience the systemic consequences of that choice in your own life.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nihilism may be too extreme, but we need to discern what parts of society are man-made (laws, ethics, morality...all principles that we generally converge and agree on to be civilized and orderly) vs. objective reality. Calling laws, ethics, and morality absolute or divine truths only serves our own ego. It’s dangerous and misleading when religion defines human constructs as truths, since they are only characteristic…

I don't quite take your point. There are truths about being a human. Psychological realities of how the human brain works in ways that are distressing to someone who assumes they have control and are capable of being objective when they think they are being objective. Then there are ways of dealing with those truths. They cannot be right or wrong, because the fitness of those ways depends on what you're optimizing fo…

Could you list some of the truths of being human? Also give some examples of psychological realities of the human brain?

The only ones I know of are biological in nature, as we are living, breathing, conscious, sentient organisms. I used to think us humans were all skeletons, but in reality we're just brains. And our brains, like all matter, are made out of atoms. The body parts are just the physical layer. Think about that next time you talk to someone face to face, you're two brains communicating with each other.

See, the above statements are what I mean when I talk about seeking objective reality. I analyzed us as creatures and stripped it down to the bare bones characteristics, no metaphors involved.

When you speak of fulfillment and having an aim, it's an attempt to rationalize a meaning to life. But the premise may be false, that people assume there is a meaning to be found in life in the first place. And supposedly the answer to what our aims should be are found in a book known as the Bible, which we should interpret as deep, grand metaphors.

Religion and the Bible give people an easy way out of asking the tough questions about the nature of our reality, preventing critical thinking and logical thoughts. It provides comfort for the aimless, lest they have to confront existential dread.

Laws, ethics, and morality are human/social constructs that are characteristics of our society. There are no divine, absolute, or deep truths to be found there. It just defines basic human behavior so society remains civil.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#47

I learned that withdrawing into yourself when an asshole treats your poorly is the wrong thing to do. Shutting out may feel comfortable and safe, but leaves you unaccustomed to dealing with emotional disturbances. It makes you soft. If you are upset by someone else, it's only because you've let their negativity into you, so to speak. The world has an endless supply of assholes, and tomorrow you may face another one.…

This is interesting because in addition to "flight // fight" there is also "freeze" which sounds a bit like what you are talking about. Learning how to overcome "freeze" as a reaction may be a good idea in some situations.

Could be, but semantics allows it to fulfill the flight definition as well.

As in, we are fleeing from confrontation, or we are avoiding the things we would normally do/feel.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#48
post #6
post #3

Well I learnt to take nothing for granted at work. I've seen long-standing equilibriums crumble in a short timespan, after having been in place for eons. I've also learnt that while money is not everything, it's definitely something that should be kept high on the list of priorities.

I will echo the first thing you said. Things are always more unstable than they appear (especially if things appear very stable).

Interested in more examples

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#49
I learned...

I do get burned out.

Intermittent fasting works.

React redux is clunky together at best.

To stop complaining to others, on internet, and to my self, it kicks starts cycle of medicority.

Phrase next Facebook won't look like Facebook really settled in when I saw rise of twitch despite there being YouTube.

Very few actually want to do startups or at least sacrifice that a founder ought to make.

There are no Junior jobs in tech. Skill gap is either imaginary or only applicable to senior Dev jobs.

It further cemented that having a degree from ivy college is an extreme advantage to every state of startup... Except maybe finding product fit. Definitely a plus when trying to get funding, find cofounder, get University perks, even in b2b getting them on board.

Realization I don't have enough life experience to know of problems that could be startup idea... And I don't know how to solve it.

Telling someone you're going to do something is great way to never do it.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't quite take your point. There are truths about being a human. Psychological realities of how the human brain works in ways that are distressing to someone who assumes they have control and are capable of being objective when they think they are being objective. Then there are ways of dealing with those truths. They cannot be right or wrong, because the fitness of those ways depends on what you're optimizing fo…

Could you list some of the truths of being human? Also give some examples of psychological realities of the human brain? The only ones I know of are biological in nature, as we are living, breathing, conscious, sentient organisms. I used to think us humans were all skeletons, but in reality we're just brains. And our brains, like all matter, are made out of atoms. The body parts are just the physical layer. Think abo…

I want to be extra clear: All the things I believe about religion are rooted in a belef in neurochemical reactions in meatbrains in a purely, exclusively, hard-materialistic perspective.

I also want to state that I'm trying to see what you're written in the best possible light. I mean that. But I might fail, and for that I apologize in advance. I'm not trying to straw man, and if you think I am, know that's not my intention and feel free to clarify.

> Could you list some of the truths of being human? Also give some examples of psychological realities of the human brain?

Sure. This is going to take quite a bit of effort to unpack. But first, let me address the remainder of your post because I think it's important context. But my answer to this question is at the end.

> The only ones I know of are biological in nature, as we are living, breathing, conscious, sentient organisms. I used to think us humans were all skeletons, but in reality we're just brains. And our brains, like all matter, are made out of atoms. The body parts are just the physical layer. Think about that next time you talk to someone face to face, you're two brains communicating with each other.

Indeed. In fact, while the center of our perception might be our brains, what we are at a deeper level is worms. Coelemates, to be precise. We are incredibly sophisticated survival systems for a digestive tract. In any case, the things you said are probably true, and I do accept them as true with a high degree of confidence. All things I think religion has to teach me are biological, or more accurately, mental. But to be clear, I believe mental things are merely emergent from biological things and non-supernatural.

> See, the above statements are what I mean when I talk about seeking objective reality. I analyzed us as creatures and stripped it down to the bare bones characteristics, no metaphors involved.

What you've done is the easy part. All mentally capable people can trivially get where you arrived with minimal thinking. And they have for millenia, since the first body was literally and metaphorically carved up by makeshift spears and knives.

> When you speak of fulfillment and having an aim, it's an attempt to rationalize a meaning to life.

I do not think I'm rationalizing anything, but...

> But the premise may be false, that people assume there is a meaning to be found in life in the first place.

I think what you're trying to say is that people try to construct unbelievably false narratives, like "this life is a test" or "God will judge you in the afterlife", so you can attain a level of comfort that "everything has a purpose". These are comforting thoughts. And by the way, who are you to say people shouldn't have these comforts? Or that you shouldn't have these comforts? Maybe you shouldn't have a couch because the ground under it is hard. But in any case. It's extraordinarily unlikely that these comforts accurately describe reality. But there's much, much more meaning to life than believing fairy tales. Ever helped a struggling child solve homework problems? Ever helped an old lady across the street? Ever contributed to a project where you solved what seemed like an impossibly complex problem at the outset? That feeling is good. And it's meaningful.

If what you're saying is that there is no personal meaning to your actions, then that is exactly what nihilism is. Nihilism is stupid. It's worse than heroin. And it's empirically known to be a gateway to unncessary suffering including depression, anxiety, malicious behavior, suicide, and other undesirable things. Is it objective that those things are undesirable? No. But that doesn't matter. If you do not want these things, then you ought to find meaning, because meaning is the only weapon you have to fight nihilism.

As Jordan Peterson was struggling for over a decade to find a singular axiom, one from which he could begin to understand the human condition at a fundamental level, as he was deeply studying totalitarianism with the aim of preventing it from ever happening again, he found it.

The reality of pain. Everyone feels it. You can say it has no meaning, but you're wrong. Goddamnit when you are in pain, your life suddenly has an aim, a meaning: Stop the pain. You cannot dispute this (yeah yeah masochists, but they have a relatively low ceiling for "pleasurable" pain compared to what you can do to them). The reality of pain and the meaning behind it is universal, a fundamental axiom. And, to your earlier point, it's nothing but nerves and brainmeats passively doing their neurochemical thing.

> And supposedly the answer to what our aims should be are found in a book known as the Bible, which we should interpret as deep, grand metaphors.

Supposedly, they say. I didn't. Now I do. It took me a long time to take the Bible seriously. Once I did, it started to become more clear, with the guidance of Jordan Peterson's study. I can say you'll never see it if you don't look yourself. Or, actually, take the easy way out like I did: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-wWBGo6a2w

> Religion and the Bible give people an easy way out of asking the tough questions about the nature of our reality ...

I'm not sure what you mean here. What you say sounds dramatically incorrect in a way that you must be completely ignoring (or ignorant of) the philosophical shoulders on which you stand. But, maybe I'm reading that incorrectly. Text is hard.

Theology and philosophy in general has always been the practice of asking the hardest of questions about the nature of our existence. But you said nature of our reality. I think you might be referring to facts that we believe with a high degree of confidence like "We're alone in the universe" and "The Earth is the center of nothing but itself". I think history does a pretty good job of showing that religion prevents neither the investigation nor acceptance of such extraordinarily likely facts. Here we are in a religious world, after all. However, I do think that religious tradition has caused quite a large minority of believers to unfortunately reject many facts in lieu of purely religious explanations, such as Young Earth Creationism. But these things die, even if they die slowly.

> ... preventing critical thinking and logical thoughts. ...

Again, I think what you're describing is a minority of believers, even if the minority is large. And it's shrinking over time. These things take time. And the record of history pushes us in the right direction.

What I hope you're not saying is that religion actually does prevent critical thinking and logical thoughts in general. Clearly this is not the case. The scientific method, and most all scientific discoveries in history, have been due to religious people -- largely Christians and Jews specifically. So that's just empirically wrong.

> It provides comfort for the aimless, lest they have to confront existential dread.

I don't know what you mean by aimless. But I am certain that everybody (above a rather low level of mental capacity) confronts existential dread. There are two things I learned about faith prior to being converted: (a) everybody, everybody who believes struggles with faith. Everybody, even the faithless, have times in their life where they confront the question of whether they're wrong about everything, "maybe nothing has any meaning", and the dread that follows. There is no blind follower. Merely people who, for a short time, aren't considering the question right now. And (b), there's a large number of believers who have never had a spiritual experience, no "special knowledge". Merely people who have reasoned their way into their beliefs for one reason or another.

.... cont on next comment

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