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Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

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Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#21
I learned that withdrawing into yourself when an asshole treats your poorly is the wrong thing to do.

Shutting out may feel comfortable and safe, but leaves you unaccustomed to dealing with emotional disturbances. It makes you soft.

If you are upset by someone else, it's only because you've let their negativity into you, so to speak. The world has an endless supply of assholes, and tomorrow you may face another one. Fortify your mind by maintaining your course.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#22
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I heard a really similar thing about suffering – which can be a decision if you want it to be. Choose what you'll suffer for, or someone else will choose for you. In other words, you're going to hurt, and struggle, and have your patience tried for something . Pick something you actually want and suffer intentionally for it, or you'll suffer for nothing as a consequence of trying to avoid hardship.

I am stealing this quote from you. It is print worthy. On similar lines I have started to feel that happy life is not necessarily a good life. Often they don't gel together well. Unhappy struggle for the principle is way better than living a false Facebook Happy Life.

I don't own that quote – I wish I could claim to have known that innately rather than having to hear and learn it in times of pain.

The thing you said about happy life not being good life is dead on IMO. Happiness != comfort != meaning. Optimize for meaning.

I didn't attribute this quote because hackernews relentlessly downvotes him, but I learned all of this from Jordan Peterson, who has done more than most other people for helping me unfuck my life and be a better man.

He's a problematic dude sometimes, including his takes on climate science, but his youtube courses Maps of Meaning are immensely insightful if you're willing to suspend disbelief and listen abstractly and in good faith.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#23
post #7

So many. Really good year. Lots of them feel like I've been in a cave for awhile and am just coming back, so maybe these are table stakes for other people. 1) Intentional vulnerability Intentional vulnerability is really good stuff. Withholding emotions to look stoic, or out of shame that it's "not manly" to feel them, or because feelings are somehow lesser for being irrational.. all really toxic ways of being, and t…

> I've discovered that people who've been in my life a long time have really toxic aversions to self inspection and self improvement, and that had never come to a head because we were both content being dishonest about our inner lives, but once I started being more open, it made sense to phase them out because the relationships didn't feel healthy.

I came to same realization and it's heart breaking to let go.

> I might be reading too far into your mood from just a single sentence, but don't make the mistake of burying that part of yourself just because it got burned once.

I don't think I am so much scared but I will weight my options before jumping into that role and I will be especially careful when it involves money.

> I tell that story not so much for the part about letting these people back in your life – maybe they really exploitative – but more for the bit about needing to put yourself on the line instead of shying away.

I think your advise is good. I will try to mend the relationships but as equals. May be I should try next year.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#24

This year I learned that God is real. I'd been an atheist since 14 and have spent the majority of my life an atheist. I believed that there was insufficient evidence for the existence of God. In many ways I still believe that. I dont believe in a magic transdimensional entity most people believe in when they talk about God. However, much like you feel the spirit of celebration when your team scores a goal, or the spi…

I know what you mean. JP's biblical lectures were the first thing that made the concept of "God" as a framework for conduct and interacting with the world into something that was accessible to someone that doesn't believe in fairy tales.

I wouldn't call myself a Christian – I'm athiest, or at least uninterested in prioritizing any diety concept above any other – but being able to finally "get" what (some) religious people see in their texts was awesome.

The biggest help was basically learning to steelman the texts. Rather than viewing them as default stupid and looking for chinks in the armor, viewing them as containing something abstract but useful that I didn't understand and attempting to meditate on what that might be and why it might work has been valuable.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#25

This year I learned that God is real. I'd been an atheist since 14 and have spent the majority of my life an atheist. I believed that there was insufficient evidence for the existence of God. In many ways I still believe that. I dont believe in a magic transdimensional entity most people believe in when they talk about God. However, much like you feel the spirit of celebration when your team scores a goal, or the spi…

To offer an alternative viewpoint, have you watched Sam Harris talk about religion on YouTube? He even debated Jordan Peterson about topics such as morality. I like Peterson a lot, but similar to Ben Shapiro, when they talk about religion...all logic, rationality, and objective truth seeking goes out the window.

The so called spirits you talk about are merely emotions.

Religious beliefs are prevelant in Western culture for historical reasons, such that it has become a tradition. Can you imagine the anger, sadness, existential dread, and perhaps violence that would occur if all religious folks found out that their beliefs are perhaps false?

I heavily disagree with you saying that it reveals “deep truths”.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#26
I've learned a lot this year.

1. Relationships: After surviving my divorce, I was more grateful than ever to live the bachelor life but it was not until I decided that I never want to enter another relationship that I was able to fully redirect my energy towards other areas of my life.

2. Diet:

- Carbs: People are becoming obese because excessive sugar has become a normalized addition to their diet.

- OMAD: Not only is it possible to eat once a day without adverse side effects, it's actually healthy to do so.

- Extended fasting: It's even possible to go for multiple days without eating if you manage your electrolytes (look up snake diet on youtube) and this also has great benefits.

3. Listen to more music: It's one of the simplest ways to alter your mood for the better.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#27

This year I learned that God is real. I'd been an atheist since 14 and have spent the majority of my life an atheist. I believed that there was insufficient evidence for the existence of God. In many ways I still believe that. I dont believe in a magic transdimensional entity most people believe in when they talk about God. However, much like you feel the spirit of celebration when your team scores a goal, or the spi…

To offer an alternative viewpoint, have you watched Sam Harris talk about religion on YouTube? He even debated Jordan Peterson about topics such as morality. I like Peterson a lot, but similar to Ben Shapiro, when they talk about religion...all logic, rationality, and objective truth seeking goes out the window. The so called spirits you talk about are merely emotions. Religious beliefs are prevelant in Western cultu…

I absolutely have. The four part series between the two was enthralling.

I'm not sure how you could you think logic, rationally, and objective truth seeking go out the window in Jordan's case. I know that sentence is a shibboleth of the secular community, I've said it myself. But it's just inaccurate.

With Sam it's funny. He says he wants to extract the good from the past and in the same breath rejects the good in religion explicitly because it has all this baggage that Jordan explicitly rejects.

I have merely accepted Jordan's assertion that within religion are rational, logical, objective truths about ourselves and human psychology that are not found anywhere else.

I await with bated breath the day Sam can write a story as powerful as Job, teaching the principle that when tragedy strikes it will feel like God and Satan are plotting against you; but the Right Thing to Do when tragedy strikes you is not to reevaluate your foundation, as we are wont to do. There are many other stories in the Bible about what to do you are suffering because of your own choices.

The Bible is merely psychologically profound.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#28

I've learned a lot this year. 1. Relationships: After surviving my divorce, I was more grateful than ever to live the bachelor life but it was not until I decided that I never want to enter another relationship that I was able to fully redirect my energy towards other areas of my life. 2. Diet: - Carbs: People are becoming obese because excessive sugar has become a normalized addition to their diet. - OMAD: Not only…

As a former fat guy, on number 2, it's more than just sugar. It's quantity. Skinny/normal people really just don't get how much food a fat person eats. It's insane. Like the thing you mention about skipping meals, fat people don't do that unless it's to skip the fifth meal.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To offer an alternative viewpoint, have you watched Sam Harris talk about religion on YouTube? He even debated Jordan Peterson about topics such as morality. I like Peterson a lot, but similar to Ben Shapiro, when they talk about religion...all logic, rationality, and objective truth seeking goes out the window. The so called spirits you talk about are merely emotions. Religious beliefs are prevelant in Western cultu…

I absolutely have. The four part series between the two was enthralling. I'm not sure how you could you think logic, rationally, and objective truth seeking go out the window in Jordan's case. I know that sentence is a shibboleth of the secular community, I've said it myself. But it's just inaccurate. With Sam it's funny. He says he wants to extract the good from the past and in the same breath rejects the good in re…

I’m glad you watched the series.

It’s iffy, I think religion is a good bridge to morality, with the storytelling, metaphors, and whatnot. I just don’t buy this as “truth”. We have to consider that morality is not real and it’s a human/social construct to encourage desirable and cooperative behavior. I’m happy that we did create moral and ethical values though, it’s an excellent way to further the human race and ensure future survival without having to constantly worry about chaotic behavior, similar to (good) government laws.

I take the practical and actionable approach. When tragedy strikes I feel sad. That’s it. We can certainly describe the feeling in different ways using our wonderful literary methods such as metaphors, similes, etc. but at its basic core is the emotion of sadness. But what do you mean not re-evaluate the foundation? When tragedy strikes we should probably figure out how it happened and then take steps to prevent it from occurring again, a simple cause and effect analysis.

Re: Ask HN: Did you learn any life changing lessons this year?

#30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To offer an alternative viewpoint, have you watched Sam Harris talk about religion on YouTube? He even debated Jordan Peterson about topics such as morality. I like Peterson a lot, but similar to Ben Shapiro, when they talk about religion...all logic, rationality, and objective truth seeking goes out the window. The so called spirits you talk about are merely emotions. Religious beliefs are prevelant in Western cultu…

I absolutely have. The four part series between the two was enthralling. I'm not sure how you could you think logic, rationally, and objective truth seeking go out the window in Jordan's case. I know that sentence is a shibboleth of the secular community, I've said it myself. But it's just inaccurate. With Sam it's funny. He says he wants to extract the good from the past and in the same breath rejects the good in re…

> The Bible is merely psychologically profound.

Sure, I think everyone agrees that some wisdom is to be found in ancient texts. Along with a whole crock of false claims.

When you say you believe in God, you are making claims which are unproven, such as recurrence of souls, heaven, and hell. You also are making claims that are verifiably false, such as Earth being 5000 years old, Noah saving species in a boat etc. Finally, you are choosing to ignore a lot of harmful dogmas in these texts, such as homophobia or killing of non believers.

All this because a 2000 year old book says so.

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