I am a Yoshinkan Aikdio sensei.
I began training almost 20 years ago when I was still a major nerd programmer. With seven Karate schools in town, it was the philosophy of Aikido that hooked me.
My take on the philosophy is that we are all in this mess together and someone who is attacking us is reaching out for help in the only way they know how. They are damaged and need help. Hurting them will increase their damage and add more pain into the world. As a responsible person and martial artist, that is not my goal. Aikido provides non-violent ways of protecting yourself as well as your attackers. The founder called it the martial art of love.
It's also handy when someone you care about gets triggered, temporarily loses their mind, attacks blindly, and needs to be controlled without being hurt. (That's happened to me.)
Nobody mean or aggressive tends to stay in Aikido. It's taught cooperatively and is a very good environment. Nobody is out to hurt anyone in Aikido classes making it a lot of fun, whipping people through the air and having them laughing and coming back for more. It also seems to attract intellectuals. Many of my instructors had PHD's.
What it comes down to though, is the individual teacher, more so than the martial art. I would avoid teacher's who are on a power trip. Nice, confident, warm, instructors in any martial art are people I'm honored to train with.
I also highly recommend joining a yoga class.
John.