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Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

nytimes.com

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Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#61

Post by 75dvtwin »

nickysielicki wrote: post #22

Never let anyone tell you that our current standard of "normal" is normal. It's only the pressures of the world that make teenagers retract from their parents. Every emotion you've ever felt has been developed, whether by God or by hundreds of thousands of years of natural selection. Conscious thought may deliver us to emotion, but the emotion that you arrive at is something that has always been inside of you. When f…

@nickysielicki I agree with your sentiment.

Children always had peer influence. But the accessible sexualized media streams -- have become an overpowering influence.

It is so powerful, that many have been brainwashed to think that it is 'normal' and just the sign of modern times.

Just like you, I do not think so.

Just looking at the salary/compensation of the folks in the enterainment industry (moves/sports/etc) -- it shows how disproportion their influence and reach is, compared to any other historical presedent.

Clearly, enterntainer skills have been 'multipled' by the TV, and now internet explosion. That makes them very influential as well as accessible.

It is not engineers/statesman/doctors/accomplished military personnel -- that drive the 'standards' and the influence.

It is, instead the folks from sports, entertainment and fashion industries.

They have their own set of standards (or whatever you might call that) -- it is based on sexuality, appearance, being funny, being dismissive and 'outspoken' for something.

The above traits, when fire-housed on our kids through the they information channels, are very difficult for us as parents -- to manage/reason about.

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#62

Post by hndamien »

bmiranda wrote: post #21
rootusrootus wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It depends on what you're taking pictures of. A lot of people seem to snap pictures of landscape, with or without other strangers in it. Those are the kind of pictures that aren't really durably interesting over the long haul. For well known places you can always find a pro who did a wonderful job capturing it. Now, if you're taking pictures of yourself and/or your friends, that makes perfect sense to me. As long as…

Landscape pictures can serve as a reminder of what you were doing, a sort of diary. Sure, you could find professional photos, but they won't be as rooted in your memory. By looking at an old photo you remember where you were, what you were doing, and _why_ you decided to take the photo. In other words, while a pro may be able to capture the location better, they won't capture your memory of visiting it as well.

Also the meta information is nice.

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#63

Post by geden »

kiliantics wrote: post #8

This seems mostly like a not-so-humblebrag about her daughter than anything else. Child of NYTimes editor and journalist in Brooklyn has 1000 followers on instagram. Real big news.

Totally agree. Strongly felt like a particularly roundabout humblebrag to me and I'm very surprised you have been voted down.

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#64

Post by Chris2048 »

nickysielicki wrote: post #22

Never let anyone tell you that our current standard of "normal" is normal. It's only the pressures of the world that make teenagers retract from their parents. Every emotion you've ever felt has been developed, whether by God or by hundreds of thousands of years of natural selection. Conscious thought may deliver us to emotion, but the emotion that you arrive at is something that has always been inside of you. When f…

> When feel something isn't right, it's a good indicator that something isn't the way it's supposed to be

according to "evolution", which only cares about survival of the fittest. Those emotions may be entirely self-serving.

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#65

Post by 0db532a0 »

lkdjjdjjjdskjd wrote: post #56

Discovering the fake perfected Instagram version of her daughter. Maybe she couldn't deal with the not-so-perfect normal life daughter, and that is why said daughter shut her out. Maybe not - but after "ruining" the Led Zeppelin song for he daughter, now she went after the one other thing that seems to make her daughter happy, which is Instagram. What if that article now gives her daughter unwanted fame and ruins tha…

If the daughter thinks that a song is suddenly uncool or ruined just because her mum liked it when she was younger and wanted to share that with her, then pardon my French, but the daughter sounds like a bit of a cunt. I’m sure there are a lot of people here who have picked up some top tunes from their parents.

Of course we don’t see the full picture here, but I think it’s great that the mum sat down to play a tune that her daughter likes on the guitar.

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#66

Post by rootusrootus »

thirdsun wrote: post #43
rootusrootus wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It depends on what you're taking pictures of. A lot of people seem to snap pictures of landscape, with or without other strangers in it. Those are the kind of pictures that aren't really durably interesting over the long haul. For well known places you can always find a pro who did a wonderful job capturing it. Now, if you're taking pictures of yourself and/or your friends, that makes perfect sense to me. As long as…

While I also question the necessity of having every single moment documented and framed, I don't think you or anyone else has the authority to decide what's worth capturing and what isn't.

My wife is of a similar mind. She is so beholden to the idea that everyone is a perfectly unique snowflake that she thinks all generalized experience, observations, and advice are completely irrelevant. She may be right.

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#67

Post by nl »

njarboe wrote: post #54
nl wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is - of course - historically wrong. Through most of history, in terms of "general", "average" lifestyle both parents have worked from dawn to dusk doing manual labor or. If they saw their (over ~6 yo) children during this time it was because the children were working with them. It's always been normal for children to grow up and be less known to their parents. 20 years ago the same people would complain how the…

This famous quote by Socrates was likely make up by William L. Patty and Louise S. Johnson in Personality and Adjustment on page 277 in the fifties (1953). If Plato actually did mention this as a saying of Socrates was later (1966) researched and evidence of the quote existing was found lacking.[1] https://www.bartleby.com/73/195.html

Actually.. It's not as simple as that (of course).

There are no primary sources of Socrates, so there are questions around anything from him.

However, in this case it seems to have come from a summary of Greek thinking written by Kenneth John Freeman in 1907[1]. It seems likely one of his sources was "a paraphrase of a quote (lines 961–985) from Aristophanes' The Clouds, a comedic play known for its caricature of Socrates."[2]

This information apparently came to light when Google Books scanned the Freeman essay, so the researcher quoted by Bartleby (in 1966) didn't know of it.

Furthermore, Plato did complain about this behavior[3] and much of what we know of Socrates comes via Plato.

Edit: Doing some primary sources research on Google books found the quote used in a 1947 newspaper edition[4]! And here is another from 1944[5].

That's interesting.. although I can't access the source itself so perhaps Google has mis-parsed the date?

More work:

https://archive.org/stream/crescent_1928-30/cr_v40_n14#page/... from 1928 (!)

[1] https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehave/

[2] https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Socrates#Misattributed

[3] http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=plat.+rep.+8.56...

[4] https://books.google.com.au/books?id=5H8VAAAAIAAJ&q=%22The+c...

[5] https://books.google.com.au/books?id=q2IwAQAAMAAJ&q=%22The+c...

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#68

Post by Izkata »

Nasrudith wrote: post #42
throwvet90 wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Kids have been sexualized and have to grow up too quickly. Kids have been made into tiny workers that do busy work for most of their childhood, away from their parents, because both parents have to work. > It's dystopian, disgusting and perverted Correct me if I'm wrong, but for most of history, weren't "kids" already married and working to support a family when they were in their teens? I know my grandparents, my…

Yeah this is very not new at all. Before industrialization they were tiny workers that did actual work on the farm when both parents were working. Those lucky enough to be nobility were trained from a young age in the various areas a noble needed to know. Marriages tended to be a bit older among peasants just because there was 'less of a point' but nobility had marriages at 12 or so - and not even always with a compa…

And beyond all that, puberty is when our bodies start telling us we're adults, while society tells us we're not. A large part of teenage rebellion seems to stem from that disconnect.

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#69

Post by Izkata »

0db532a0 wrote: post #65
lkdjjdjjjdskjd wrote: post #56

Discovering the fake perfected Instagram version of her daughter. Maybe she couldn't deal with the not-so-perfect normal life daughter, and that is why said daughter shut her out. Maybe not - but after "ruining" the Led Zeppelin song for he daughter, now she went after the one other thing that seems to make her daughter happy, which is Instagram. What if that article now gives her daughter unwanted fame and ruins tha…

If the daughter thinks that a song is suddenly uncool or ruined just because her mum liked it when she was younger and wanted to share that with her, then pardon my French, but the daughter sounds like a bit of a cunt. I’m sure there are a lot of people here who have picked up some top tunes from their parents. Of course we don’t see the full picture here, but I think it’s great that the mum sat down to play a tune t…

My perspective of the article, which seems to have not even crossed your mind: The mother's actions aren't those of someone trying to understand her daughter, but instead co-opt her daughter's interests to make it all about herself instead of her daughter.

It's not so much that it's "uncool" or "ruined", but that her mother isn't allowing her to find her own identity, trying to pull her back into defining herself in terms of her mother. And she doesn't want to be just her mother's add-on.

Re: Rediscovering My Daughter Through Instagram

#70

Post by lkdjjdjjjdskjd »

0db532a0 wrote: post #65
lkdjjdjjjdskjd wrote: post #56

Discovering the fake perfected Instagram version of her daughter. Maybe she couldn't deal with the not-so-perfect normal life daughter, and that is why said daughter shut her out. Maybe not - but after "ruining" the Led Zeppelin song for he daughter, now she went after the one other thing that seems to make her daughter happy, which is Instagram. What if that article now gives her daughter unwanted fame and ruins tha…

If the daughter thinks that a song is suddenly uncool or ruined just because her mum liked it when she was younger and wanted to share that with her, then pardon my French, but the daughter sounds like a bit of a cunt. I’m sure there are a lot of people here who have picked up some top tunes from their parents. Of course we don’t see the full picture here, but I think it’s great that the mum sat down to play a tune t…

We certainly don't know the full story, so I am not giving an absolute judgement. It was just a guess. I have to say that the mother is using her daughter for her articles is already a huge red flag to me. Especially since according to article, the mother is perfect and it is all the weirdness of her daughter that is to blame.

On the other hand, of course, people have to be able to discuss their parenting issues, and it is important that there are also articles about that. I don't know a good solution for that problem.

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