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Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

#53
post #45

Learn Stoicism. My favorite classic is Enchiridion by Epictetus and Letters from a Stoic by Seneca. For a more modern approach: The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking by Burkman PD:I compiled a list of quotes from the best books http://arandomquote.com/categories/stoic/

FYI: There is actually a MOOC going on right now called "Stoic Mindfulness & Resilience Training (SMRT)"[0]

[0] https://modernstoicism.com/stoic-mindfulness-and-resilience-...

Re: Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

#54
Read one book. Dostoyevsky's ‘Crime and Punishment’, concentrating on all of the various ways he portrays righteousness.

He helps you see what's right in front of you, namely that people do wrong things not because they are evil or bad, but because they are weak.

Once you understand people as inherently weak, that they do stupid shit because they are essentially helpless, not because they're bad or evil or cruel, it becomes so much easier to forgive.

Mental toughness is all about forgiving and forgetting, and you learn to forgive only by accepting that people are weak, that people are essentially incapable of doing what's right.

Here one of my favorite quotes from the book:

“She is so unhappy! Ah, how unhappy! She believes there must be righteousness everywhere. She expects it. She doesn't see that it's impossible for people to be righteous and she is angry at it.”

Re: Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

#55
post #40
post #24

Some ways of putting psychological stress on yourself: - Public speaking - Taking on leadership roles - Do things that are counter to your personality. Eg, if you're shy, force yourself to talk to strangers on the street - Put yourself in situations where you will probably face rejection - Do things that will make you stick out. Eg: showing up at work one day in a suit when everyone else is wearing t-shirts. Or vice-…

- Do things that will make you stick out. Eg: showing up at work one day in a suit when everyone else is wearing t-shirts. Or vice-versa If you do this prepare for a raft of questions / meetings with you asking if you have a job interview or something today. Are you thinking about leaving? Are you sure you're happy here etc etc... :D

Reminds me of this clip from Family Guy [0] where Peter decides to change his wardrobe for work

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEG-FXgAOGg

I believe most people are conformists and do not really care for those who stick out like a nail out the board; most will try to hammer it back in. If you're not a "culture fit", they might even let you go. Risky.

Re: Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

#56
post #24

Some ways of putting psychological stress on yourself: - Public speaking - Taking on leadership roles - Do things that are counter to your personality. Eg, if you're shy, force yourself to talk to strangers on the street - Put yourself in situations where you will probably face rejection - Do things that will make you stick out. Eg: showing up at work one day in a suit when everyone else is wearing t-shirts. Or vice-…

> Take a flight to a random foreign country where you don't know the local language, and where most people don't know English. No hotel reservations in advance, no laptop, no smartphone, minimal budget. Figure out how to survive, have fun, and visit the city's major landmarks over the following 5 days. Bonus points if it's a developing country

That sounds like a wonderful way to get kidnapped or murdered. Why do people recommend this? It seems only slightly less dangerous than going to the most dangerous neighborhood in the biggest city you can day-trip to, and start hurling slurs at passers-by.

The rest of your advice seems wonderful and I'd highly recommend it!

Re: Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

#57
post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

- Do things that will make you stick out. Eg: showing up at work one day in a suit when everyone else is wearing t-shirts. Or vice-versa If you do this prepare for a raft of questions / meetings with you asking if you have a job interview or something today. Are you thinking about leaving? Are you sure you're happy here etc etc... :D

Reminds me of this clip from Family Guy [0] where Peter decides to change his wardrobe for work [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEG-FXgAOGg I believe most people are conformists and do not really care for those who stick out like a nail out the board; most will try to hammer it back in. If you're not a "culture fit", they might even let you go. Risky.

See they're going to be looking for army guys, cue peter dressed as a clown in the jungle

Re: Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

#58
post #22

Practicing MMA (but any single art like Boxing, Wrestling, Muy Thai, etc would work) has definitely boosted my mental toughness. Once you step into a ring with someone who is trying to attack you, and come out okay, you realize you can handle pretty much anything. Even if you don't spar, simply motivating yourself to go to practice can be tough. If you can walk into a room knowing you're going to be pinned and choked…

For those who don't agree, I think the difference may be competition experience. It's like other high pressure scenarios, but preparing for a match can teach you how to prepare for others. My level of nervousness is pretty well correlated to how prepared I feel. The best competitors go into a match "knowing" they will win because they had covered all the bases.

Re: Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

#59
post #22

Practicing MMA (but any single art like Boxing, Wrestling, Muy Thai, etc would work) has definitely boosted my mental toughness. Once you step into a ring with someone who is trying to attack you, and come out okay, you realize you can handle pretty much anything. Even if you don't spar, simply motivating yourself to go to practice can be tough. If you can walk into a room knowing you're going to be pinned and choked…

We should have a Hacker News MMA meetup :)
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