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An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

nytimes.com

41–50 of 124 posts

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#41
I enjoyed the women from Chicago's point. That having that old-time gym feeling is not something that's the best for most people. It's one of those silly ideas that tries to sum up a big problem and give it a small fix. I remember a friend showed me something their aunt or something posted about dirt roads. It was a similar idea to the gym thing. It's absurd.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#42

I am not an american. But i have no one in my life. And unlike that 16 years old who feels lonely although she/he is in fact "surrounded by nice people", i am not surrounded by anyone. The funny thing is half an hour ago i wrote about what Ive been already knowing for a good decade: people are small coin. Bargaining chip. They come and go. What a coincidence. I decided to reiterate that because some situation reminde…

I would bet money that you are all talk and no game. I know people who talk like this and think like this but when it comes to actually doing, they cower. Proof or bs.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#43
post #33

I had no desire to make friends until college. I was so content with just hanging out by myself that I didn't even realize that other people were making friends. When I got to college I finally realized that I was so different from everyone else. I basically had to start from zero social skills and work my way up which is/was extremely painful. Can anyone relate? I think it has something to do with my parents because…

My experience is that having friends to hang out with was “easy” through high school, because you’re basically “stuck” around a fairly small number of peers in your neighborhood and school. In college there was still some of that, with dorm mates and classmates in your major. After that, it’s really only coworkers that you are “automatically” going to spend a lot of time with, and it becomes much more important to have the social skills to actively find friends. As everyone says, hobbies and social groups (like religions and clubs) are probably the best way to do this.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#44
post #43
post #33

I had no desire to make friends until college. I was so content with just hanging out by myself that I didn't even realize that other people were making friends. When I got to college I finally realized that I was so different from everyone else. I basically had to start from zero social skills and work my way up which is/was extremely painful. Can anyone relate? I think it has something to do with my parents because…

My experience is that having friends to hang out with was “easy” through high school, because you’re basically “stuck” around a fairly small number of peers in your neighborhood and school. In college there was still some of that, with dorm mates and classmates in your major. After that, it’s really only coworkers that you are “automatically” going to spend a lot of time with, and it becomes much more important to ha…

“Boring time” or dedicated idleness is excellent for socialization, which is what I think creates the best environment for creating friendships.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#45

I've been seeing this topic in the media for quite a few years now, and I just wonder why there doesn't seem to have any solution either from the private or public sectors. Is it because loneliness is not huge enough, or it's like poverty that has to be dealt by yourself? Those social media and apps trying to help just make loneliness and anxiety worse as many other articles suggest.

In Japan there are government programs set up to get single people together. Some cities reserve entire bars or areas for singles only. There are government run speed dating services as well: https://www.businessinsider.com/japanese-government-dating-s...

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#46

I am not an american. But i have no one in my life. And unlike that 16 years old who feels lonely although she/he is in fact "surrounded by nice people", i am not surrounded by anyone. The funny thing is half an hour ago i wrote about what Ive been already knowing for a good decade: people are small coin. Bargaining chip. They come and go. What a coincidence. I decided to reiterate that because some situation reminde…

I have the tendencies to feel and act similar to what you describe, but I think these tendencies can often be harmful and I often try to resist some of them. Feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk about this and other randomness with a kindred spirit. My email is in my HN profile and my Twitter is the same as my HN username.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#47

I have a hard time finding people who like to work on old cars. I joined a mopar club for a while, but all they did is talk about meeting minutes and the budget. Never going over to Bob's house and getting his wreck back on the road. I run into people now and then who have a classic in their garage, but they never seem interested in having a group of people helping out. None of my friends in the tech business have th…

Yea, I've recently gotten into working on cars for fun. I've gotten 2 cars I bought at auction from no start/no crank to running in the past few months..

But no one around me is interested in tinkering. Hopefully I can find someone to help me with an engine rebuild (my next major learning goal). Then messing with turbos.

People in tech are especially averse it seems to me to wanting to do manual labor type things like this.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#49
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe it has something to do with the role technology plays in this issue.

I don't know. We can blame technology. Or we can actually go out and join something. Maybe serve at a local food bank. Worst case, you're still lonely but some hungry people get fed. Incidentally, how are you going to find a good food bank to help out at? I bet it looks like "technology": search engines, smart phone apps, web pages, email, digital calendars, navigation instructions, and signup forms.

Of course this is great advice for an individual. It's always possible to effect change at the margins. But this sort of advice at a population-level feels meaningless. It's entirely fair to search for root causes to large-scale dysfunction. Otherwise the trend will just grow worse

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#50

I have a hard time finding people who like to work on old cars. I joined a mopar club for a while, but all they did is talk about meeting minutes and the budget. Never going over to Bob's house and getting his wreck back on the road. I run into people now and then who have a classic in their garage, but they never seem interested in having a group of people helping out. None of my friends in the tech business have th…

Yea, I've recently gotten into working on cars for fun. I've gotten 2 cars I bought at auction from no start/no crank to running in the past few months.. But no one around me is interested in tinkering. Hopefully I can find someone to help me with an engine rebuild (my next major learning goal). Then messing with turbos. People in tech are especially averse it seems to me to wanting to do manual labor type things lik…

Heck, it's fun to even just go visit the other guy while he works on his car, drink beer, and insult his execrable taste in cars. And vice versa :-)
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