For me, the most interesting thing about all these loneliness articles is how often they make it to HN's first page. It says more about HN/tech community then America as a whole.
Every two weeks it hits front page and usually comes from nyt!
An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
31–40 of 124 posts
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#32Here's an interesting article: "Why is it hard to make friends over 30?" [1] "As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other." [1] https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-o…
I make new friends of all ages all the time. At church. It does provide "proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other". And not by coincidence. One of the major goals of church is to help people form healthy and significant relationships (that is, friendships).
Yeah, as an atheist, the weekly unforced meetup you guys have is the one thing I do envy.
I wonder how many of the churchgoers secretly have no real faith and are only there for the company...
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#33I had no desire to make friends until college. I was so content with just hanging out by myself that I didn't even realize that other people were making friends. When I got to college I finally realized that I was so different from everyone else.
I basically had to start from zero social skills and work my way up which is/was extremely painful.
Can anyone relate? I think it has something to do with my parents because they aren't social at all.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#34For me, the most interesting thing about all these loneliness articles is how often they make it to HN's first page. It says more about HN/tech community then America as a whole.
Maybe it has something to do with the role technology plays in this issue.
That or the sort of person who tends to work in tech.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#35Here's an interesting article: "Why is it hard to make friends over 30?" [1] "As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other." [1] https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-o…
I make new friends of all ages all the time. At church. It does provide "proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other". And not by coincidence. One of the major goals of church is to help people form healthy and significant relationships (that is, friendships).
Same. It's great. Moreover, I meet people from all walks of life. I'm a software engineer, but my men's group has electricians, video editors, plumbers, therapists, etc. It's a mixed bag.
I wonder how much of the issues we have with increasing social stratification are due to the fact that who you know is basically completely dependent on your job these days.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#36I had no desire to make friends until college. I was so content with just hanging out by myself that I didn't even realize that other people were making friends. When I got to college I finally realized that I was so different from everyone else. I basically had to start from zero social skills and work my way up which is/was extremely painful. Can anyone relate? I think it has something to do with my parents because…
I feel ya. For me though, after college I realized that I was still happier mostly alone. I think I might be a bit autistic though (seriously).
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#37Earlier quoted context omitted.
I make new friends of all ages all the time. At church. It does provide "proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other". And not by coincidence. One of the major goals of church is to help people form healthy and significant relationships (that is, friendships).
Yeah, as an atheist, the weekly unforced meetup you guys have is the one thing I do envy. I wonder how many of the churchgoers secretly have no real faith and are only there for the company...
At least at my church growing up: a lot. Granted, the church I went to was as much a cultural institution as a religious one, but there were plenty of people who were pretty open about not believing if you directly asked them.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#38Earlier quoted context omitted.
I make new friends of all ages all the time. At church. It does provide "proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other". And not by coincidence. One of the major goals of church is to help people form healthy and significant relationships (that is, friendships).
Yeah, as an atheist, the weekly unforced meetup you guys have is the one thing I do envy. I wonder how many of the churchgoers secretly have no real faith and are only there for the company...
You could go, as someone who's open to the possibility of spiritual enlightenment. And likes company. But if you really are an atheist, you'd probably be most comfortable with a Unitarian church. Or perhaps a Friends meeting.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#39Here's an interesting article: "Why is it hard to make friends over 30?" [1] "As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other." [1] https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-o…
I do Brazilian jiujitsu and I find it is great for making friends outside of college and work. There is something about exerting a lot of energy and aggression safely in a safe place against others that is able to forge some strong friendships. Highly recommend for everyone.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#40I have a hard time finding people who like to work on old cars. I joined a mopar club for a while, but all they did is talk about meeting minutes and the budget. Never going over to Bob's house and getting his wreck back on the road. I run into people now and then who have a classic in their garage, but they never seem interested in having a group of people helping out. None of my friends in the tech business have the remotest motorhead tendencies. Nobody in college did, either.
I had a group of friends who did this in high school, and have a lot of great memories of it.