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Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

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Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#51
post #41
post #11

The average American spends too much time at work to not have some sort of social, not 100% related to work, activities and groups that they can be apart of. As a black employee I'm very plugged in the employee resource group for black employees at my organization. I've been able to give back to the local community through volunteering, develop mentee and mentor relationships through this network and develop a sense…

I wish people of my color, gender, or belief were allowed to make a club, or join yours. It sounds great. Maybe something like this is why whites commit suicide so much more than blacks in America (per CDC [1]). Blacks suffer in many ways but at least they're allowed to make a community just about themselves, and that's valuable. [1] https://www.realclearscience.com/journal_club/2013/04/05/us_... !

Perhaps, but I belong to groups based on my interests which are completely orthogonal to race: my Church, various interest groups on Facebook, etc.

I work at a small company (c. 600 people), so it isn't big enough to have these kinds of groups, but I'd be more interested in joining a group based on interests, like software development (I do work for a software company), or maybe tabletop gaming. I don't care what race people are, but what their interests are like. Of course, I'm a white guy, so there wouldn't be a white guy group (nor would I want to see one).

And for what it's worth, there are a lot of immigrants at this company, so whites are a minority among mostly Indians and Chinese, etc.

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#52
post #11

The average American spends too much time at work to not have some sort of social, not 100% related to work, activities and groups that they can be apart of. As a black employee I'm very plugged in the employee resource group for black employees at my organization. I've been able to give back to the local community through volunteering, develop mentee and mentor relationships through this network and develop a sense…

Having been to schools and companies where I was the only member of my race and religion, a race or faith based group has not been an option more often than it has for me. I've also worked in organizations where I was sexually in the minority.

This has made me learn how to build connections based on interest and experience. Doing so is easier than it seems. We share a lot with each other: most went to a school with hundreds, even thousands of students. Most have had family members that we dislike. Many of us deal with sickness, depression, and difficult experiences. Many of us are passionate about an activity of some sort.

I encourage anyone - black, white, brown, woman, man, mixed, other - to seek connections based on common interests and experiences.

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#53
post #11

The average American spends too much time at work to not have some sort of social, not 100% related to work, activities and groups that they can be apart of. As a black employee I'm very plugged in the employee resource group for black employees at my organization. I've been able to give back to the local community through volunteering, develop mentee and mentor relationships through this network and develop a sense…

> These sorts of groups get a lot of flak from folks who don't think these groups should exist or that companies should not focus on "diversity" Including myself (mixed race). I find the "hang out with people who look like me" mentality to be really weird and when a company's idea of diversity is basically this, it's more offensive than racial slurs to be honest.

I doubt it's "we share a skin color, let's hang out" for anyone.

It's more of a "we share the same challenges and hardships, let's compare notes" mentality.

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#54
post #11

The average American spends too much time at work to not have some sort of social, not 100% related to work, activities and groups that they can be apart of. As a black employee I'm very plugged in the employee resource group for black employees at my organization. I've been able to give back to the local community through volunteering, develop mentee and mentor relationships through this network and develop a sense…

> These sorts of groups get a lot of flak from folks who don't think these groups should exist or that companies should not focus on "diversity" Including myself (mixed race). I find the "hang out with people who look like me" mentality to be really weird and when a company's idea of diversity is basically this, it's more offensive than racial slurs to be honest.

I am a white male and in my department we have a lower percentage than a lot of the groups who have an ERG. Sometimes I toy with the idea of opening up an ERG for white males. I wonder how this would come across.

I don't really understand why all these groups are around race, sexuality or gender. This seems to me the opposite of diversity. In my view there should be groups around interests instead.

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would say, just brief them at the start "I might fire you tomorrow, go in expecting that, we'll set you up something else if I do. Don't rely on this." Kind of like the way you lend money to friends. That said, you probably shouldn't lend money to friends.

Not sure why you're being downvoted. I like your approach. If you can give some of your less fortunate friends/family a job and break even at the same time, it sounds like a win-win for everyone. Certainly if they are currently unemployed.

Thanks. Exactly my thoughts.

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I provide good references, connections to other employers, and generous severance to help soften the landing. I have done this before at a business in my early 20s during M&A events. All employment is temporary. Remember, my goal is to operate a business to spend time with those whose company I enjoy, not to be ridiculously successful.

You've done this before with friends and family?

I have hired and fired family before, yes. The example I mentioned was not that case though, although it was where I learned how to treat someone humanely when letting them go (through a manager who turned out to be the best manager [and eventually business partner] I’ve ever had).

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#57
post #41
post #11

The average American spends too much time at work to not have some sort of social, not 100% related to work, activities and groups that they can be apart of. As a black employee I'm very plugged in the employee resource group for black employees at my organization. I've been able to give back to the local community through volunteering, develop mentee and mentor relationships through this network and develop a sense…

I wish people of my color, gender, or belief were allowed to make a club, or join yours. It sounds great. Maybe something like this is why whites commit suicide so much more than blacks in America (per CDC [1]). Blacks suffer in many ways but at least they're allowed to make a community just about themselves, and that's valuable. [1] https://www.realclearscience.com/journal_club/2013/04/05/us_... !

Much of the value is shared challenges. For many other ethnic groups this is because it coincides with the fact that they're actually foreigners.

If you're having trouble having a place where you can talk about the challenges you have and you feel, for whatever reason, uncomfortable to call it a "white people's group", perhaps try forming it functionally? So, for instance, If you have trouble finding mentorship, a Peer Guidance Group may help?

I don't actually know here. Just suggesting in case it helps.

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#58
post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> These sorts of groups get a lot of flak from folks who don't think these groups should exist or that companies should not focus on "diversity" Including myself (mixed race). I find the "hang out with people who look like me" mentality to be really weird and when a company's idea of diversity is basically this, it's more offensive than racial slurs to be honest.

I am a white male and in my department we have a lower percentage than a lot of the groups who have an ERG. Sometimes I toy with the idea of opening up an ERG for white males. I wonder how this would come across. I don't really understand why all these groups are around race, sexuality or gender. This seems to me the opposite of diversity. In my view there should be groups around interests instead.

Usually it's about cultural or other shared affiliations. My dad was a big member of the "Emerald Society" at his employer, which was a group of Irish immigrants and mostly first-generation US born children.

A great, non third-rail example of why this is relevant can be seen in the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". There's a shared cultural, religious and other heritage and story that holds the characters together.

As a white guy, I would find a white-guy club really weird. I could see something like a dad group, baseball team or fan group, engineering society, a catholic religious/service group or something similar as something that I would potentially identify with. Maybe some sort of Irish heritage thing, but I don't know if that would be relevant to me, as there isn't really a shared experience there.

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#59
post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish people of my color, gender, or belief were allowed to make a club, or join yours. It sounds great. Maybe something like this is why whites commit suicide so much more than blacks in America (per CDC [1]). Blacks suffer in many ways but at least they're allowed to make a community just about themselves, and that's valuable. [1] https://www.realclearscience.com/journal_club/2013/04/05/us_... !

> Maybe something like this is why whites commit suicide so much more than blacks in America Whites officially commit suicide more than blacks because blacks who are even slightly inclined to self-destruction find it all to easy to get into situations that produce death by means that won't officially be viewed as suicide. > Blacks suffer in many ways but at least they're allowed to make a community just about themsel…

[deleted]

Re: Fighting the “loneliness epidemic” at work

#60
post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish people of my color, gender, or belief were allowed to make a club, or join yours. It sounds great. Maybe something like this is why whites commit suicide so much more than blacks in America (per CDC [1]). Blacks suffer in many ways but at least they're allowed to make a community just about themselves, and that's valuable. [1] https://www.realclearscience.com/journal_club/2013/04/05/us_... !

> Maybe something like this is why whites commit suicide so much more than blacks in America Whites officially commit suicide more than blacks because blacks who are even slightly inclined to self-destruction find it all to easy to get into situations that produce death by means that won't officially be viewed as suicide. > Blacks suffer in many ways but at least they're allowed to make a community just about themsel…

[deleted]
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