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Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

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Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#31

Post by Rapzid »

devwastaken wrote: post #20
seandoe wrote: post #13

My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. We're happy. We're not religious at all. I don't see why we have to declare our relationship commitment to the government. Beyond that, our incomes are similar and after some research it looks as if we would pay more in taxes if we were married. Plus, my girlfriend has substantial student loan debt and is on the public service loan forgiveness track. Her month…

>to the government Marriage has privledges it grants that you may find necessary when you least expect. Medical responsibility is one of them. You don't have a say in their medical treatment if they are unconscious or otherwise unable to make judgements. I understand not wanting the religious part, and I understand reviewing the cons of marriage and rejecting it, but making it about the 'government knowing' is the le…

You can just grant your "partner" medical power of attorney.

Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#33

Post by elpool2 »

seandoe wrote: post #13

My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. We're happy. We're not religious at all. I don't see why we have to declare our relationship commitment to the government. Beyond that, our incomes are similar and after some research it looks as if we would pay more in taxes if we were married. Plus, my girlfriend has substantial student loan debt and is on the public service loan forgiveness track. Her month…

As long as you file your taxes separately, you can get married and still have the public service loan payments be based only on her income. (though I think it depends on what kind of payment plan you're on)

Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#34

Post by tptacek »

jdavis703 wrote: post #26
sheepmullet wrote: post #23

An interesting thought experiment: what would marriage have to be like to make marriage appealing again?

It would need to be as easy as starting or quitting a job. There also couldn't be pre-conditions around it such as a limit of two people, prohibitions on same-sex marriage, and bans on "adultery."

You are describing an arrangement totally unlike marriage. If you want termination-at-will, don't get married! If there is some social pressure to get married when you don't want to, that pressure is wrong; you should only get married when you're sure it's the right thing to do.

On the other hand, at least in the US, there are huge numbers of people who fought for decades just to have the right to enter into the arrangement we're pretending needs to be fundamentally re-thought.

Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#35

Post by thaumasiotes »

tuxxy wrote: post #21

I'm 22, not religious (escaped religion, actually), and I live with my partner. We're a bit over one year having lived together and I would say we're very happy. We have both decided to not discuss marriage until we're 26. We both know that people change and we want to make sure we both have our independence and our early 20s.

What exactly is it that you're saving your early 20s for?

Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#36

Post by geff82 »

grogenaut wrote: post #19
geff82 wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hahaha me too! Since getting married and because of the kind of mental support I got, I quadrupeled my income, travelled the world, got two kids, got boat licensed (together with wife), got ham radio licensed, got a degree, taking flying lessons now (together with wife), start Krav Maga soon (together with wife), start riding motorcycles (together, of course), train playing the piano again, lost 15 kilos (despite the…

how'd you learn the language? My wife and I are interested after a trip and competing a bit on the language. Immersion? or classes or what?

Well, it was Persian, the language of my wife. I learned it from books and by talking to her and the family. It is my fourth language. But we are also learning spanish now (courses in form of books), but it is too early to really mention it now.

Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#37

Post by dabbledash »

sheepmullet wrote: post #23

An interesting thought experiment: what would marriage have to be like to make marriage appealing again?

I don’t think it would really make sense. Marriage places obligations on partners that should make it “safe” for the other partner (and children) to depend on them financially if necessary. Many people don’t want to take on those legal and financial obligations. You can remove the obligations, but then why bother with the whole marriage thing at all?

Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#38

Post by Gibbon1 »

setquk wrote: post #18

Honestly I think this is a good thing. If I knew what I knew now, from my own relationship after being married for 20 years, and observation of friends, I would not have got married. People can drift apart. Situations change. Health problems get between you. What can remain is obligation and legal difficulty for a lot of people and nothing more. And in some countries, such as the UK where I live, this is a massive pr…

> the law is predatory and unfair towards one or both parties.

When I got divorced 20 years ago some of my friends thought it was unfair that my ex took $20k (of $40k) out of savings, packed her stuff and left. When I tell that to men my age they're like HFS!!! fist bump

Another fiend got divorces, wife got full custody, child support and alimony. The take was so much he and his two kids had to move back into his mom's two bedroom house.

Friend of mines after she married her husband quit his job and started playing video games full time. Spoonged off her for ten years till she divorce him. And so now he's legally sponging off her using his partial custody as a lever.

Currently I have a GF who's been unemployed for a year. Sort of typical in her industry. If we were married we'd be hosed because health insurance would cost me another $800/month.

That aside, problem with the law is the law can't cover the myriad of ways people can get screwed over in relationships. My take is don't get married it either allows the other person to screw you or gives others the ability to screw you.

Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#39

Post by sheepmullet »

dabbledash wrote: post #37
sheepmullet wrote: post #23

An interesting thought experiment: what would marriage have to be like to make marriage appealing again?

I don’t think it would really make sense. Marriage places obligations on partners that should make it “safe” for the other partner (and children) to depend on them financially if necessary. Many people don’t want to take on those legal and financial obligations. You can remove the obligations, but then why bother with the whole marriage thing at all?

> Many people don’t want to take on those legal and financial obligations.

But they used to so what has changed? And could it be changed back?

Edit: If anything people used to jump into them too quickly.

Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults

#40

Post by Gibbon1 »

mrkurt wrote: post #12
mh8h wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Married life means you won't do a lot of exciting/risky things. Married men live longer. So do indoor cats.

Wut. Since I've gotten married I've: * quit a job with nothing else lined up to try and start a company * moved cross country without a place to live * started boxing * learned improv and performed in shows * fostered a bunch of kids * learned to race rally cars In fact, the only thing I've done _less_ of is played video games.

I'll bet you don't get hammered drunk every night either.
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