21–30 of 75 posts
We have both decided to not discuss marriage until we're 26. We both know that people change and we want to make sure we both have our independence and our early 20s.
My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. We're happy. We're not religious at all. I don't see why we have to declare our relationship commitment to the government. Beyond that, our incomes are similar and after some research it looks as if we would pay more in taxes if we were married. Plus, my girlfriend has substantial student loan debt and is on the public service loan forgiveness track. Her month…
>to the government Marriage has privledges it grants that you may find necessary when you least expect. Medical responsibility is one of them. You don't have a say in their medical treatment if they are unconscious or otherwise unable to make judgements. I understand not wanting the religious part, and I understand reviewing the cons of marriage and rejecting it, but making it about the 'government knowing' is the le…
In the case of divorce that actually becomes very important. You now have a judge from the government who is making life decisions for you and your family. Source: grew up in a divorced household.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Married men live longer too.
Something something correlation causation
In essence, the average man living with a female partner would get a "nuisance" investigated, diagnosed with cancer, and (sometimes) treated; while the average single man sought treatment only when the condition was truly disturbing, and by that time it's too late to treat the cancer.
An interesting thought experiment: what would marriage have to be like to make marriage appealing again?
For example, age 18-24: drop of 22.6% married or with partner
* 1968 = 39.2% married + 0.1% with partner = 39.3%
* 2018 = 7.3% married + 9.4% with partner = 16.7%
Age 25-34: drop of 26.6% married or with partner
* 1968 = 81.5% married + 0.2% with partner = 81.7%
* 2018 = 40.3% married + 14.8% with partner = 55.1%
Earlier quoted context omitted.
That is very weird advice. I've been a software developer since the mid-1990s, when I was a teenager, got married at 21, had two kids, started several companies, sold some of them, and getting married is easily the single best decision I ever made. I would like to gingerly suggest that this is a subject for which you might not want to sole-source your advice from software developers. We are an odd lot.
Married men live longer too.
(old joke)
An interesting thought experiment: what would marriage have to be like to make marriage appealing again?
It would need to be as easy as starting or quitting a job. There also couldn't be pre-conditions around it such as a limit of two people, prohibitions on same-sex marriage, and bans on "adultery."
I think we should have a few different types of marriage and then see what people choose.
For example one marriage option could be the man gets automatic full custody of the kids in the event of a divorce.
We could have another free and easy option like you are suggesting.
Etc.
Then we let the market sort it out.
This is one of those things many people I've spoken with never considered or knew about (why would you!) until it was too late and -- had they been "married" for 2/3/5 years or some threshold, everything would've been a cakewalk.