As a man why would you be interested in marriage?
The divorce courts are not exactly friendly to men.
Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
11–20 of 75 posts
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#12Earlier quoted context omitted.
Married men live longer too.
Married life means you won't do a lot of exciting/risky things. Married men live longer. So do indoor cats.
Wut. Since I've gotten married I've:
* quit a job with nothing else lined up to try and start a company
* moved cross country without a place to live
* started boxing
* learned improv and performed in shows
* fostered a bunch of kids
* learned to race rally cars
In fact, the only thing I've done _less_ of is played video games.
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#13My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. We're happy. We're not religious at all. I don't see why we have to declare our relationship commitment to the government. Beyond that, our incomes are similar and after some research it looks as if we would pay more in taxes if we were married. Plus, my girlfriend has substantial student loan debt and is on the public service loan forgiveness track. Her monthly payments are based on her income. If we were married my income would be considered and her payments would go up significantly. So... marriage?
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#14As an unmarried Young Adult (in the Netherlands) myself I can give my 2 cents about why I wouldn't get married; I've simply taken to heart the advice nearly every senior developer would give me; Don't EVER get married.
Keep in mind that unhappily married or divorced people are the ones who are more likely to say something about it. I'm happily married. I don't really mention it, and I'm sure others in a similar situation do the same.
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#15Earlier quoted context omitted.
Married men live longer too.
Men who die early are less likely get married
This is actually a topic that has received a lot of investigation. It's true that men who marry differ, before marriage, from men who don't. But it also seems to be true that marriage has a strong causal effect on male behavior.
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#16My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. We're happy. We're not religious at all. I don't see why we have to declare our relationship commitment to the government. Beyond that, our incomes are similar and after some research it looks as if we would pay more in taxes if we were married. Plus, my girlfriend has substantial student loan debt and is on the public service loan forgiveness track. Her month…
If it doesn't make sense, don't do it!
The concept isn't hard to get your head around. Businesses draw up similar contracts all the time. You're just expressing a formal mutual accountability. It enables one partner to "safely" make sacrifices (or exploit time preference).
If you don't want to be accountable to each other in a formal way, by all means, keep your relationship informal.
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#17Earlier quoted context omitted.
Married life means you won't do a lot of exciting/risky things. Married men live longer. So do indoor cats.
Wut. Since I've gotten married I've: * quit a job with nothing else lined up to try and start a company * moved cross country without a place to live * started boxing * learned improv and performed in shows * fostered a bunch of kids * learned to race rally cars In fact, the only thing I've done _less_ of is played video games.
Hahaha me too! Since getting married and because of the kind of mental support I got, I quadrupeled my income, travelled the world, got two kids, got boat licensed (together with wife), got ham radio licensed, got a degree, taking flying lessons now (together with wife), start Krav Maga soon (together with wife), start riding motorcycles (together, of course), train playing the piano again, lost 15 kilos (despite the cooking we do), learned a new language (fluent now).
And it is really attributable to this strong relationship. Because I get an A/B-test once a year, when my wife visits her home country for some weeks: I get the lazy guy I was before, not achieving much, despite having lots of time.
What marriage brings to me is the very long-term view. As far as I can see, I know with whom I will be together and we make plans. I meam, how can you raise even kids without being quite sure that you stick together? Marriage is the very official promise that you try your really best. It is not needed if you feel uncomfortable with it. But for me, very personally, I feel it really helps.
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#18Honestly I think this is a good thing.
If I knew what I knew now, from my own relationship after being married for 20 years, and observation of friends, I would not have got married. People can drift apart. Situations change. Health problems get between you. What can remain is obligation and legal difficulty for a lot of people and nothing more. And in some countries, such as the UK where I live, this is a massive problem because the law is predatory and unfair towards one or both parties. This is an inescapable risk as well.
I am extremely lucky with the respect that we are extremely good friends, but we go our own ways now and cross paths to look after our children together and share our advantage of working together to go forwards in life.
We are still bound by law however which makes it difficult to be independent once tied if you need to be and is also a situation which is expensive and difficult to change.
And the only reason we got married was it was seen as the done thing and a lot of peer pressure from the last generation. I've learned to think about things as calculated risks and not take advice from my parents now.
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#19Earlier quoted context omitted.
Wut. Since I've gotten married I've: * quit a job with nothing else lined up to try and start a company * moved cross country without a place to live * started boxing * learned improv and performed in shows * fostered a bunch of kids * learned to race rally cars In fact, the only thing I've done _less_ of is played video games.
Hahaha me too! Since getting married and because of the kind of mental support I got, I quadrupeled my income, travelled the world, got two kids, got boat licensed (together with wife), got ham radio licensed, got a degree, taking flying lessons now (together with wife), start Krav Maga soon (together with wife), start riding motorcycles (together, of course), train playing the piano again, lost 15 kilos (despite the…
how'd you learn the language? My wife and I are interested after a trip and competing a bit on the language. Immersion? or classes or what?
Re: Living with an Unmarried Partner Now Common for Young Adults
#20My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. We're happy. We're not religious at all. I don't see why we have to declare our relationship commitment to the government. Beyond that, our incomes are similar and after some research it looks as if we would pay more in taxes if we were married. Plus, my girlfriend has substantial student loan debt and is on the public service loan forgiveness track. Her month…
>to the government
Marriage has privledges it grants that you may find necessary when you least expect. Medical responsibility is one of them. You don't have a say in their medical treatment if they are unconscious or otherwise unable to make judgements.
I understand not wanting the religious part, and I understand reviewing the cons of marriage and rejecting it, but making it about the 'government knowing' is the least of the problem really.