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Poll: OkCupid stories

news.ycombinator.com

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Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#21

Post by liedra »

Other: joined OkCupid for the silly quizzes they had way back when they first started, kept it around as a social networking thing before facebook. All the time I've been with someone I didn't meet online (same person), but without the internet we would never have gotten together ;).

As a woman, I get a very large number of messages & woots or winks or w/e they're called these days, all I can say is that the ones I bother to read are the ones that aren't just "hey baby" or weird soppy poetry. Though I'm not looking, so that could skew my opinion ;P

Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#22

Post by keefe »

maxawaytoolong wrote: post #11
vaksel wrote: post #8

personally I find all these dating sites to be completely useless for guys...too much competition. when you hit on a girl in the real world...at worst, you are competing with the 10-15 other guys who've had the guts to talk to her in the past week. with online, you are competing with pretty much every guy within 100-150 miles...and since most play the numbers game...you are just one of the hundreds who've messaged he…

You are doing it wrong. The way to do it is to let them come to you. I've never initiated any conversation on OKCupid and I've been on dates with about 50 women from that site. They have always contacted me first. In mid september of this year I had 15 different women contact me in one week, resulting in 10 dates, which was the record. The key is to just have a few decent photos and be funny. It's very surprising how…

I think you're both doing it wrong.

Women tend to approach men less than the reverse, I presume that if you approached more then you'd end up with higher values in the qualities you care about.

It's also only important to note you are not just "competing" with the other guys she saw this week, but the whole online/offline pool of available males attractive females invariably have. It's about leveraging the speed of the internet to find another human being that is ACTUALLY a good match, so one would expect to beat out other people to get to a 1 in 100 match.

> SF women are generally easier and put out on the first date, but are also much crazier...

wow at this whole set of sentences... I rarely care but this kind of misogynistic, antiquated nonsense is mildly offensive even to me. I personally try not to treat other human beings like disposable hump dolls and look for some kind of a real connection, but maybe I'm just some kind of crazy hippie. To avoid the apparent but incorrect inference, I am not into monogamy now either.

Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#23

Post by mithaler »

maxawaytoolong wrote: post #11
vaksel wrote: post #8

personally I find all these dating sites to be completely useless for guys...too much competition. when you hit on a girl in the real world...at worst, you are competing with the 10-15 other guys who've had the guts to talk to her in the past week. with online, you are competing with pretty much every guy within 100-150 miles...and since most play the numbers game...you are just one of the hundreds who've messaged he…

You are doing it wrong. The way to do it is to let them come to you. I've never initiated any conversation on OKCupid and I've been on dates with about 50 women from that site. They have always contacted me first. In mid september of this year I had 15 different women contact me in one week, resulting in 10 dates, which was the record. The key is to just have a few decent photos and be funny. It's very surprising how…

I agree that it's better when women send first messages. This dating site startup is trying to take advantage of that by not allowing men to send initial messages: http://www.herway.com

Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#24

Post by maxawaytoolong »

keefe wrote: post #22
maxawaytoolong wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are doing it wrong. The way to do it is to let them come to you. I've never initiated any conversation on OKCupid and I've been on dates with about 50 women from that site. They have always contacted me first. In mid september of this year I had 15 different women contact me in one week, resulting in 10 dates, which was the record. The key is to just have a few decent photos and be funny. It's very surprising how…

I think you're both doing it wrong. Women tend to approach men less than the reverse, I presume that if you approached more then you'd end up with higher values in the qualities you care about. It's also only important to note you are not just "competing" with the other guys she saw this week, but the whole online/offline pool of available males attractive females invariably have. It's about leveraging the speed of t…

I wasn't the one looking for the "disposable hump doll." I've never even initiated a contact. The women who contacted me were just looking for sex. This happened far more often in SF. In NYC some are looking for that, but more seem to be actually looking for a husband, or a long term boyfriend. I put the crazy and antibiotics lines in there because I really did get the clap, and really did have to change my phone number.

Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#25

Post by FooBarWidget »

maxawaytoolong wrote: post #11
vaksel wrote: post #8

personally I find all these dating sites to be completely useless for guys...too much competition. when you hit on a girl in the real world...at worst, you are competing with the 10-15 other guys who've had the guts to talk to her in the past week. with online, you are competing with pretty much every guy within 100-150 miles...and since most play the numbers game...you are just one of the hundreds who've messaged he…

You are doing it wrong. The way to do it is to let them come to you. I've never initiated any conversation on OKCupid and I've been on dates with about 50 women from that site. They have always contacted me first. In mid september of this year I had 15 different women contact me in one week, resulting in 10 dates, which was the record. The key is to just have a few decent photos and be funny. It's very surprising how…

I think that only works if your looks are above average. I once used a photo of an actor on my profile just to see the effect. That raised quite some responses without me doing anything. Then I replaced my photo with a real one (my best one back then) and the number of responses instantly dropped tenfold.

Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#26

Post by FooBarWidget »

HeyLaughingBoy wrote: post #14
vaksel wrote: post #8

personally I find all these dating sites to be completely useless for guys...too much competition. when you hit on a girl in the real world...at worst, you are competing with the 10-15 other guys who've had the guts to talk to her in the past week. with online, you are competing with pretty much every guy within 100-150 miles...and since most play the numbers game...you are just one of the hundreds who've messaged he…

Think of it as business: improve your marketing. There are many women who ignore anyone who messages them because they want to be in control of the situation. Therefore they troll the male listings and respond to the ones they like. I used to take both approaches, but met more women when they came to me rather than the other way around. Make sure you have a great profile and a nice picture. SMILE!! LOOK HAPPY!!!

Are you sure about smiling? Read myth #1 at http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile...

Of course one will have more success if women come to them, but I think it only works if you have the natural looks to pull it off. Some people, even when they're not ugly, don't have the looks required to entice women to message them no matter how they dress, pose, or how much they go to the gym.

Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#27

Post by Robin_Message »

maxawaytoolong wrote: post #11
vaksel wrote: post #8

personally I find all these dating sites to be completely useless for guys...too much competition. when you hit on a girl in the real world...at worst, you are competing with the 10-15 other guys who've had the guts to talk to her in the past week. with online, you are competing with pretty much every guy within 100-150 miles...and since most play the numbers game...you are just one of the hundreds who've messaged he…

You are doing it wrong. The way to do it is to let them come to you. I've never initiated any conversation on OKCupid and I've been on dates with about 50 women from that site. They have always contacted me first. In mid september of this year I had 15 different women contact me in one week, resulting in 10 dates, which was the record. The key is to just have a few decent photos and be funny. It's very surprising how…

If by

> put out on the first date [...] Make sure you can easily get a prescription for antibiotics.

you mean "don't bother practising safe sex", then are you nuts or am I missing something? Some STIs are for life and antibiotics aren't gonna cut it.

Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#28

Post by binarymax »

I had a small stint with online dating, even met and had a relationship through one. But it didnt work out long term and I never went back to the site afterwards (was using plentyoffish at the time).

A friend of mine actually charges people money to write their dating site profiles. He boasts a seriously good turnover for relationships (for the record he didnt write my profile :) Its all truth, but some people have no idea what to write on those things.

Re: Poll: OkCupid stories

#30

Post by orenmazor »

vaksel wrote: post #8

personally I find all these dating sites to be completely useless for guys...too much competition. when you hit on a girl in the real world...at worst, you are competing with the 10-15 other guys who've had the guts to talk to her in the past week. with online, you are competing with pretty much every guy within 100-150 miles...and since most play the numbers game...you are just one of the hundreds who've messaged he…

protip: look at some guy profiles. it'll immediately teach you how to stand out from the pack.
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