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Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

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Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#21

Post by skilesare »

frankus wrote: post #14
skilesare wrote: post #7

Sounds like you need to fall in love. With a girl. Note: This will solve none of you problems. But it certainly won't be boring either. Additional note: Whoever convinced you that your life has a track and you need to figure it out did you a serious disservice. It is your life. Loving and serving those dear to you can be an amazing thing. You'll be no help to them if you are miserable.

Falling in love is best done when things are going well for you. Particularly since the median love interest won't work out. And "with a girl" seems oddly specific. Assuming he's straight, he's probably not going to fall in love with a guy, and if he's gay, this is terrible advice. Or do you mean with a girl as opposed to a hobby, career, field, etc.?

I wasn't trying to make assumptions of sexuality. This is HN. I was more concerned about him falling in love with his computer. Or a startup. Or minecraft.

If you fall in love only when things are going well for you then that may be a significant reason you believe that the median love interest won't work out.

Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#22

Post by FluidDjango »

The inability to find any joy in anything ("anhedonia") is one of the markers for depression. Be on the lookout for others (increase or decrease in appetite; increase or decrease in sleep).

Depression can come in response to specific ("depressing") circumstances or events, and it can come from hormonal or biochemical conditions. Depending on cause, different professional routes may be helpful.

Other contributing conditions (e.g., social isolation; career confusion) may be addressed well be a counselor worth their salt. [ Keep in mind that how 'loudly' you complain about how awful you feel will affect how much the counselor accelerates (or not) getting you more significant/experienced assistance. ] The 'right' counselor should be able to convey to you that they take your issues seriously and that they genuinely care about you and finding solution(s) that work for you.

Friends can provide some of the support and perspective that a professional counselor does, but usually not enough when you've really got yourself into a clinical depression. Plus a professional will have guidelines to know whether you are a candidate for referral to someone who can consider whether an anti-depressant might be worth trying. I'd encourage you to keep looking until you find a professional who's really an effective ally during these trying times.

Thinking of you

Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#23

Post by nck4222 »

"Here is my problem. I am a junior in college now, and I have no idea with regards to what I want to do."

I don't have a lot of advice, but I'm fairly certain that this is extremely normal, so don't get too down on yourself about it. At least you figured that out at 20 years old, instead of 40+.

Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#24

Post by sukuriant »

Continue with school, it's generally necessary in the States (I don't know about India, though).

Now, I'm basing what I'm about to say on my own experience. It looks like, in part, you may be experiencing burn out. The next break you can safely take (Christmas break? Summer break?), relax. Just ... stop.

Also, what happened in this corporate work environment that made you hate it so much?

Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#25

Post by throwaway9778 »

alanh wrote: post #5

> utterly hated the experience I understand you hated the whole experience, but what specifically made you feel that way?

It was repetitive, boring, and to an extent felt like we were interns just because the company needed to show interns.

Also I couldn't stand being in the office for 8 hours, dressed up in clothes that I'd rather not wear. It was pretty stuffy. And most of the other interns were just too satisfied with wasting their times.

The allocated work could be completed in less than half of the time. Initially, I would ask my supervisor for more work, but I guess he got irritated, and instead of assigning more real work said go hang out with the other employees, and learn from them.

I initially tried talking to random employees, and try to figure out stuff to say, but after 5-7 minutes I'd run out of things to say, and go back to doing my own stuff.

Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#26

Post by jimbojohn »

throwaway9778 wrote: post #25
alanh wrote: post #5

> utterly hated the experience I understand you hated the whole experience, but what specifically made you feel that way?

It was repetitive, boring, and to an extent felt like we were interns just because the company needed to show interns. Also I couldn't stand being in the office for 8 hours, dressed up in clothes that I'd rather not wear. It was pretty stuffy. And most of the other interns were just too satisfied with wasting their times. The allocated work could be completed in less than half of the time. Initially, I would ask my s…

Sounds like the startup environment (I'm talking 1-8 employees) would be a better fit. I too interned at a big company. Don't let it ruin the industry altogether!

Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#27

Post by throwaway9778 »

anigbrowl wrote: post #3

No. how hard is for you to switch majors? US students do that frequently, it's not considered a bad thing.

It is actually not hard. I am in the US. I was initially Electrical Engineering, switched to Computer Science, but then decided I could learn all the cs I wanted to know on my own, so I switched to Mech. Engg as I thought I might enjoy learning how to make stuff and use the water jet, 3D printer, and other machines (I still do). I just dislike taking classes that I think are going to be of no practical use to me. What scares me is the lack of alternatives right now, because I am pretty positive that I will not accept / get a job after I graduate.

Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#29

Post by zafka »

The first of the 'Four Noble Truths' which Buddha taught was 'Life is suffering'. At least that is what I heard. I was where you were, and I made many poor choices. But I have been lucky, and have been able to find a path that I am comfortable with. 18 years after starting a Chem Eng. degree, I obtained a Computer Engineering degree. Along the way I learned a lot. One of the most powerful tools I have found is gratitude. Do a little statistics. Determine how well you did in life's lottery. I still have to remind myself to get back to work, to pay back the universe. anyhow, as someone else said, feel free to email me, or call for that matter. I can tell you how much better it is to be young and aimless than it is to be old and wistful.

Re: Ask HN: What is (is there something) wrong with me?

#30

Post by noonespecial »

"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t."

— Mary Schmich

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