Living with one child is like living with a demanding, but mostly reasonable, roommate who really likes spending time with you until she goes to bed early. Having two or more children is like living in a circus where all the performers are deaf.
Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
191–200 of 216 posts
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#192Oh, where to start? Having a baby entirely eliminates your life and replaces it with a different one. And you can't undo it. You cannot spend all your time on a project now - you have to change your priorities. This is not an option, and unfortunately it's not something that happens magically by itself, either. Like maintaining a marriage, it's something you choose to do because not to do so is unthinkable. The payof…
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#193Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#194Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#195Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#196Oh, where to start? Having a baby entirely eliminates your life and replaces it with a different one. And you can't undo it. You cannot spend all your time on a project now - you have to change your priorities. This is not an option, and unfortunately it's not something that happens magically by itself, either. Like maintaining a marriage, it's something you choose to do because not to do so is unthinkable. The payof…
>>The payoff will come a decade from now - or two, and it will consist of knowing For me, the payoff was immediate. It is hard to match the experience of holding your newborn baby or young infant in your hands and just looking at the baby or talking to him or her. I also agree with the (message in the) quote above that good parenting will have its own rewards in the future.
I have to say, though, leaving the hospital with our first one, honestly - my first thought was: "Holy crap, they're actually letting us leave? Without a license or something? I don't know the first thing about parenting!!"
And I sure didn't. But I learned.
One thing I can't recommend enough, though, to anybody with kids - take all the time off everything else you possibly can. Spend that quality time with them. You get one chance to get their entire life right, and it's really pretty easy - just ignore everything else, even if just a little while every week. (That's a joke - it's never easy. You just had a baby. Suddenly there are all kinds of expenses you never even imagined, and you know that sooner or later, they're going to need braces and a college education.... You've never needed money so bad!)
But seriously - establish a good personal relationship while they still think you're omnipotent, and you will thank your past self a million times about fifteen years down the road.
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#197Oh, where to start? Having a baby entirely eliminates your life and replaces it with a different one. And you can't undo it. You cannot spend all your time on a project now - you have to change your priorities. This is not an option, and unfortunately it's not something that happens magically by itself, either. Like maintaining a marriage, it's something you choose to do because not to do so is unthinkable. The payof…
> "Having a baby entirely eliminates your life and replaces it with a different one." A good illustration of that: People you've called "mom" and "dad" your whole life now become "grandma" and "grandpa". Your spouse becomes "mama" or "dada". Having a kid changes the way you relate to everybody else in your life . It shifts your focus from how someone relates to you to how they relate to your kid. Similarly, every dec…
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#198Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#199Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah I would highly suggest investing in a video monitor. because you're so paranoid as a new parent, you'll be tempted to run in and check on the little one for every little noise. Don't wake a sleeping baby ;) the video monitor will really help that. We actually have two changing tables in the house. One upstairs and one downstairs. Last thing you want is trying to change a kid on the floor who's starting to twist…
> Last thing you want is trying to change a kid on the floor who's starting to twist and turn and has a really poopy diaper. ...or if there was a catastrophic containment failure.
Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?
#200Earlier quoted context omitted.
You won't crush your baby, don't worry about it. (Unless you go to sleep drunk or something, I mean, really!) You can put that big pregnancy pillow around them for extra comfort.
I know of a case where a baby died of asphyxiation while sleeping on the parent's bed. It may be isolated incident or whatever but I wouldn't dismiss this risk.
The only true research that I know of is the one that says to have them sleep on their backs, not on their bellies.