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Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

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Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#171

Post by dreww »

lordmatty wrote: post #30
RyanMcGreal wrote: post #28

There's a two- or three-week period, usually around the six month mark, when your baby can sit up unaided but can't yet crawl. During this time, you can put the baby down on an activity blanket (supervised, obviously) and enjoy maybe five or ten minute contiguous stretches of uninterrupted time to do stuff. Note: activities like preparing a meal and straightening up the place tend to take priority over developing a s…

* Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. In my experience this leads to drastically less sleep. You disturb your baby and your baby disturbs you. We put the baby in another room and invested in a baby alarm. * Seriously consider breastfeeding. Yes, but don't pressure yourself too much...the most important thing is that the baby eats properly. Bo…

formula is a death machine. http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/what_should_know_f...

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#173

Post by kabuks »

dasil003 wrote: post #151
lazyant wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death.

> No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death. I've heard this but I don't buy it. People have been sleeping this way for millions of years. Normally I believe parents are plenty in tune with their baby's presence not to roll over on them. If you're a heavy drinker then yeah you should probably go sleep on the couch. But as a parent you often have to make choices with conflictin…

Rolling over your child is a myth. Only happens if you're drugged or wasted.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#174

Post by seenuupadhya »

drblast wrote: post #15

Living with one child is like living with a demanding, but mostly reasonable, roommate who really likes spending time with you until she goes to bed early. Having two or more children is like living in a circus where all the performers are deaf.

Hear, hear! Or in this case, NOT!

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#176

Post by bijanbwb »

drblast wrote: post #15

Living with one child is like living with a demanding, but mostly reasonable, roommate who really likes spending time with you until she goes to bed early. Having two or more children is like living in a circus where all the performers are deaf.

You might think living with children is tough, but my roommates over the past several years could collectively be likened to children with access to a liquor cabinet.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#177

Post by aeden »

drblast wrote: post #15

Living with one child is like living with a demanding, but mostly reasonable, roommate who really likes spending time with you until she goes to bed early. Having two or more children is like living in a circus where all the performers are deaf.

As a father of triplets + a 2-and-half-year-old I must wholeheartedly agree.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#178

Post by jerf »

sdenheyer wrote: post #170
jerf wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have the exact opposite experience; everyone who didn't use attachment has screaming wrecks at ~2 years and we're getting sleeping through the night. Sample size roughly five children, utterly unrandomly chosen. Hooray anecdotes!

I agree - evidence is awesome. Here's a pretty good assessment of it: http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/774928.html One thing I don't think is in dispute: "Cry it out" works quickly and involves less exhaustion for parents and children.

Wow, nice link!

It really seems to boil down to a big ol' "I dunno" from science, which is at least a bound on the virtues/dangers of the approach if nothing else.

As someone who is actually relatively interested in science, I have noticed that it isn't very helpful when it comes to parenting, except in a few cases which tend not to be very surprising ("hey, don't smoke around your baby"). The studies are so small and there are so many confounding factors I almost wonder why they try.

I'm satisfied with our outcome, nobody got exhausted and we're in a pretty good position now, but who really knows why?

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#179

Post by FEBlog »

drblast wrote: post #15

Living with one child is like living with a demanding, but mostly reasonable, roommate who really likes spending time with you until she goes to bed early. Having two or more children is like living in a circus where all the performers are deaf.

As I am having my first child in December I find the first part of this reassuring, as to the second half, well time will tel :-)

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#180

Post by sabat »

does having a baby give you inspiration and ability to do more?

Maybe. It hasn't affected that part of me much. My kid's five, and I'm about as driven as I ever was.

Or maybe you change your life's priorities?

It does, sure. You will suddenly realize one day how much you love your kid. The first months you spend in shock -- Ohmygod we have a baby here! -- but after a while you realize how connected you are to him or her. And the pressure to provider for the baby can be intense.

On the other hand, you also realize that if you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of the child.

Or you are so exhausted that everything else seems uninteresting?

I've had those days. As the kid gets older (than a year, for instance) you are not a walking zombie. The outside world seems like a welcome diversion. Don't worry, you won't lose yourself.

How does having a baby change your life?

In practical terms: there's some new pressure, and new concerns, but you remain the same person you always were -- just maybe a little bit better because you have to try harder now.

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