Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence • Hacker News Board

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#21

Post by sgslo » Tue, Nov 06, 2018, 6:18 PM UTC

blueadept111 wrote: post #20

sanchitasaha wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey blueadept11, women have very different experiences and challenges to men when it comes to most aspects of their lives, from careers, to body matters and relationships. So the advice we look for and share is often only relevant to other women. The way we talk in person with other women can be different to how we talk in public, much more personal way. So Shello aims to be bring that intimacy and freedom to talk an…

That's quite a leap from saying that certain topics are only relevant for women to saying that it's about freedom. Nobody is preventing women from talking about these topics in any other forum. You're saying that the advantage of perceived intimacy is greater than the disadvantage of losing the broader perspective that includes men. If I was in a bad mood, I'd say it's classic ingroup/outgroup psychology, which is la…

I don't understand the purpose of your comments here.

The author is creating a platform for one group of people to discuss their common issues. In this case, that the common feature between people in this group is gender.

Other platforms exist for discussion between people with common attributes. An example is cancer survivors. Discussion in a cancer survivor group should probably be limited to cancer survivors. Do you think that people who have not experienced cancer first or second hand would have a good reason to post their problems in that group? I can imagine the posts now - "I haven't had cancer or experienced it in any form but here's how you should deal with chemotherapy." That's probably not appropriate.

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#22

Post by blueadept111 » Tue, Nov 06, 2018, 7:21 PM UTC

sgslo wrote: post #21

blueadept111 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's quite a leap from saying that certain topics are only relevant for women to saying that it's about freedom. Nobody is preventing women from talking about these topics in any other forum. You're saying that the advantage of perceived intimacy is greater than the disadvantage of losing the broader perspective that includes men. If I was in a bad mood, I'd say it's classic ingroup/outgroup psychology, which is la…

I don't understand the purpose of your comments here. The author is creating a platform for one group of people to discuss their common issues. In this case, that the common feature between people in this group is gender. Other platforms exist for discussion between people with common attributes. An example is cancer survivors. Discussion in a cancer survivor group should probably be limited to cancer survivors. Do y…

How about a "no African Americans allowed" forum, for fostering "intimacy" for people who need a place to freely talk about issues limited to those who aren't African American?

I'd say that kind of group is latently hostile because it seeks exclusion rather than to encourage a broader perspective, and discussion topics probably center around the excluded group (ingroup/outgroup). Seems like a good litmus test.

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#23

Post by sgslo » Tue, Nov 06, 2018, 7:40 PM UTC

blueadept111 wrote: post #22

sgslo wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand the purpose of your comments here. The author is creating a platform for one group of people to discuss their common issues. In this case, that the common feature between people in this group is gender. Other platforms exist for discussion between people with common attributes. An example is cancer survivors. Discussion in a cancer survivor group should probably be limited to cancer survivors. Do y…

How about a "no African Americans allowed" forum, for fostering "intimacy" for people who need a place to freely talk about issues limited to those who aren't African American? I'd say that kind of group is latently hostile because it seeks exclusion rather than to encourage a broader perspective, and discussion topics probably center around the excluded group (ingroup/outgroup). Seems like a good litmus test.

I know what you're trying to get at here, that forming a 'women-only' group is selecting against men by allowing them to join, and that selection isn't fair.

Cmon, be real. There are discussion groups that select against other parties. Some of these groups are socially acceptable (cancer survivors, people in debt, women's issues). Other's might not be socially acceptable (excluding people based on their skin color).

In this case, a group to discuss women's issues is socially acceptable to a majority of people. If you're unhappy with this standard then go campaign against it somewhere else, don't try to poo-poo the OP's app.

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#24

Post by sanchitasaha » Tue, Nov 06, 2018, 7:40 PM UTC

blueadept111 wrote: post #20

sanchitasaha wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey blueadept11, women have very different experiences and challenges to men when it comes to most aspects of their lives, from careers, to body matters and relationships. So the advice we look for and share is often only relevant to other women. The way we talk in person with other women can be different to how we talk in public, much more personal way. So Shello aims to be bring that intimacy and freedom to talk an…

That's quite a leap from saying that certain topics are only relevant for women to saying that it's about freedom. Nobody is preventing women from talking about these topics in any other forum. You're saying that the advantage of perceived intimacy is greater than the disadvantage of losing the broader perspective that includes men. If I was in a bad mood, I'd say it's classic ingroup/outgroup psychology, which is la…

Hi, glad you're in a good mood :) So only 20% of questions are posted anonymously and these tend to be highly personal or sensitive topics. The rest users post openly as themselves and we use real names and profiles.

I think the main thing here is that men cannot advise women on issues that are related to being a woman. Sure there are other topics that men could indeed contribute and add value but the reason women are joining shello is to hear from other women.

There are already platforms like Quora and Reddit where its open to all, but are predominantly male-heavy, but hardly any where women can drive the conversations.

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#25

Post by blueadept111 » Tue, Nov 06, 2018, 9:16 PM UTC

sanchitasaha wrote: post #24

blueadept111 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's quite a leap from saying that certain topics are only relevant for women to saying that it's about freedom. Nobody is preventing women from talking about these topics in any other forum. You're saying that the advantage of perceived intimacy is greater than the disadvantage of losing the broader perspective that includes men. If I was in a bad mood, I'd say it's classic ingroup/outgroup psychology, which is la…

Hi, glad you're in a good mood :) So only 20% of questions are posted anonymously and these tend to be highly personal or sensitive topics. The rest users post openly as themselves and we use real names and profiles. I think the main thing here is that men cannot advise women on issues that are related to being a woman. Sure there are other topics that men could indeed contribute and add value but the reason women ar…

I'm glad you're glad. :)

Re. "the main thing", it would really help me out if you could provide some examples of issues that relate to being a man, that a women cannot advise a man on.

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#26

Post by sanchitasaha » Wed, Nov 07, 2018, 7:23 PM UTC

blueadept111 wrote: post #25

sanchitasaha wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hi, glad you're in a good mood :) So only 20% of questions are posted anonymously and these tend to be highly personal or sensitive topics. The rest users post openly as themselves and we use real names and profiles. I think the main thing here is that men cannot advise women on issues that are related to being a woman. Sure there are other topics that men could indeed contribute and add value but the reason women ar…

I'm glad you're glad. :) Re. "the main thing", it would really help me out if you could provide some examples of issues that relate to being a man, that a women cannot advise a man on.

Err, I’m not confident to give you examples of questions that relate to being a man, because I’m not a man. It’s a shame that some guys can’t see there is stuff that they just wouldn’t be able to help a woman with. I’m sure you have an idea of questions that only another guy would better be able to help you with. Maybe a problem with your penis? Or something intimately related to being a guy that women will not have experienced?

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#27

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Nov 08, 2018, 3:34 AM UTC

blueadept111 wrote: post #22

sgslo wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand the purpose of your comments here. The author is creating a platform for one group of people to discuss their common issues. In this case, that the common feature between people in this group is gender. Other platforms exist for discussion between people with common attributes. An example is cancer survivors. Discussion in a cancer survivor group should probably be limited to cancer survivors. Do y…

How about a "no African Americans allowed" forum, for fostering "intimacy" for people who need a place to freely talk about issues limited to those who aren't African American? I'd say that kind of group is latently hostile because it seeks exclusion rather than to encourage a broader perspective, and discussion topics probably center around the excluded group (ingroup/outgroup). Seems like a good litmus test.

[deleted]

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#28

Post by kazinator » Thu, Nov 08, 2018, 3:36 AM UTC

blueadept111 wrote: post #22

sgslo wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand the purpose of your comments here. The author is creating a platform for one group of people to discuss their common issues. In this case, that the common feature between people in this group is gender. Other platforms exist for discussion between people with common attributes. An example is cancer survivors. Discussion in a cancer survivor group should probably be limited to cancer survivors. Do y…

How about a "no African Americans allowed" forum, for fostering "intimacy" for people who need a place to freely talk about issues limited to those who aren't African American? I'd say that kind of group is latently hostile because it seeks exclusion rather than to encourage a broader perspective, and discussion topics probably center around the excluded group (ingroup/outgroup). Seems like a good litmus test.

Here is a bigger, shinier target for you: women's fitness clubs and spas. Or women's shelters.

Note that we accept those, but not "whites only" ones.

Re: Show HN: A platform for women to crowd-source advice in confidence

#29

Post by kazinator » Thu, Nov 08, 2018, 3:47 AM UTC

blueadept111 wrote: post #6

I don't get it, what problem is this app solving by excluding men from giving or asking for advice as well?

What problem does a college or high school solve by being for girls? What problem does a women's only fitness club solve? What problem does a women's shelter solve? A women-only train car in Japan? A women's washroom or changeroom? Etc.