Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

It reminds me of: http://tiki.oneworld.net/sustain/tourist.html

In the version I read, before finding this one, it talked about playing with the kids, sleeping with the wife and drinking and playing guitar with friends instead of laying in the sun.

I have 2 kids (7 years and 4 months) and 2 on the way (I know I work fast). What I can say above all is I do everything that I do for my kids. To run through your questions. Yes you will get inspiration from your kids as you hope to inspire them in some little way at all times in their life. Your life's priorities sure do change (or at least should). Your life become about your kid more or less. At least mine has. You will hit points of exhaustion. Its figuring out how to limit those times that becomes the trick.

With all that said its the greatest thing ever. Think of it as a little "startup" that you cannot let fail. You put a lot of time into it and in turn you get all the return you need the first time that baby smiles at you and it ISN'T because of gas heh. At no point have I thought it wasn't worth it. Its been a crazy train ride but fun the whole way.

In the UK if you apply to your company to work from home it will certainly be dependent on you having separate childcare arrangements.

You're absolutely right though.

My daughter is 16 months old. On a day when I'm looking after her on my own I might get one 45 - 90 minute chunk during the day where I could do something approximating to work (when she sleeps - though you've probably got clearing up, catching your breath and other things in there depending on the mood they've been in).

Other than that you might be able to read and reply to the odd e-mail, check the odd thing or make a quick call or two (so long as you're happy with the possibility of a child shouting in the background) but nothing that could be classified as productive - certainly don't even think about coding being something that might happen.

That all runs from 7am to 7pm. Once they've gone to bed you have to eat, clear up and get ready for the next day before you start thinking about what you want to do. On a good day where they're behaving you can clear up as you go and you're set by 7.30pm, have eaten by 8pm and you're good to go.

On a bad day you've eaten by 9pm and you're dead on your feet. Looking after young kids is full time and I will never question what stay at home mothers do with their day again.

Still wouldn't change it though - I miss having time to do the things I used to do but I'd miss her far more.

Well, you're on somebody else's schedule for the next many years. Get out of the late night feeding world, and presently you're coordinating schedules with day-care providers and then schools (not always to be distinguished) that you cannot afford to upset. (I vividly remember one Friday afternoon at the end of the government fiscal year; some chosen software was taking a divide-by-zero error on DOS 4.0, and the COTR wanted to know whether she should pull the invoice and buy from a competitor. Meanwhile I had a babysitter who needed a check before she left the country for a couple of weeks. Fortunately, a quick repartition to bring C: back under 32 MB fixed the problem. I was home by 5 pm.)

It does not make everything else seem uninteresting--children can open up new areas of interest for you. But your priorities change drastically.

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding.

We've got our little one in a cradle next to the bed and my wife is breastfeeding. This is just as convenient, if not moreso than having him in the bed. I sleep like a rock and I'm concerned about squishing the poor guy.

> Don't waste your money on a change table. You will change that baby's diaper wherever you need to do it. (We've changed our baby's diaper in the trunk of our car.)

Our changing table has a ton of room for storage and can become a dresser for the kid later in life. Our house isn't that big (1750sq ft), so we take him to his room to be changed. It saves a lot of bending over and I think my back is better for it. Additionally, it keeps all the necessary supplies at hand. We have changed him in the trunk, as well. I think it's a rite of passage...

> Get in the habit of keeping a utility bag with you at all times.

This. Always have baby supplies (and parent supplies) with you.

As for the attachment parenting, we have a mobi-wrap and a baby bjorn. I use the hell out of the bjorn, but the mobi-wrap is a bit of a hassle (it's a giant strip of black fabric). My wife, however, loves the mobi. Find some sort of baby carrier that works for you, they're indispensable.

EDIT: Also, look for a crib that can be adjusted over time. We picked one up that goes from crib, to deeper crib, to twin sized bed, so our son can potentially use it for years to come.