Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#1

Post by throwaway435341 » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 9:59 PM UTC

I make an average living (low six figures, have savings, house, no loan, etc) but for the last 2-3 years my greed for money has been unstoppable.

I keep reading about these people who are making millions of dollars and I want to be like them too. It is turning into an obsession. I used to love what I do but now it's all about money.

Every minute I'm not working is me not working towards my goal. I'm either working or criticizing myself for not working.

It is making me very unhappy and I realize that it's all because of this stupid obsession but I just can't shake it. It's not just greed but I'm also scared because I feel if I don't make a lot of money now I will miss my chance and I will be poor when I'm old (it's not 100% true since I have good savings but this thought keeps bugging me over and over).

Anyone else feel the same? Any word of advice?

:(

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#2

Post by nanis » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 10:22 PM UTC

Figure out what money is for, and spend on it.

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#3

Post by lostdog » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 10:25 PM UTC

Give some money away, even if it's a little bit.

In certain circles this is called creating an "abundance mentality," [1]. When you get rid of something that you're worried about not having enough of, it trains your brain to not worry so much about having the thing.

[1] https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-create-an-abundance-me...

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#4

Post by mars4rp » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 10:25 PM UTC

For me it was (is) just about the status and feelings of accomplishment compared to others.

Try to get your self worth from something else. (Easier said than done in this society!)

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#5

Post by pasabagi » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 11:06 PM UTC

Go to a therapist. A money hoarder is the worst kind of hoarder, since it's basically encouraged by society, but it's really damaging to both the hoarder and the people around them. Destroys famillies, etc, etc. Your money thing is probably, like ordinary hoarding, a sublimated form of anxiety.

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#6

Post by tmcz26 » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 11:06 PM UTC

Maybe reading about the opposite can help. I found about Mr Money Moustache[0] about a year ago. His blog changed the way I look at and think about money.

[0] https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/02/22/getting-rich-from...

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#7

Post by sokoloff » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 11:09 PM UTC

First, realize that you're probably making at least double the median US income. If you have a house with no loan and that income, you're doing way, way, way better than average.

I see two possible paths forward.

The less likely is to read and internalize http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-sim... and realize how quickly you can reach financial independence at a reduced spending level (but one that still affords an amazing life). Buying time is the most valuable use of money, IMO.

The second is to stay miserable for a while, striving for something ambiguous yet out of reach, until you get older and this feeling fades.

Path #1 (or a variant) is probably healthier and happier.

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#8

Post by ellius » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 11:10 PM UTC

This won't necessarily "stop your greed," but I'm a big fan of Jim Harrison's "In Search of Small Gods," particularly the poem "Quarters."

Quarters

--------------

"Maybe the problem is that I got involved with the wrong crowd of gods when I was seven. At first they weren't harmful and only showed themselves as fish, birds, especially herons and loons, turtles, a bobcat and a small bear, but not deer and rabbits who only offered themselves as food. And maybe I spent too much time inside the water of lakes and rivers. Underwater seemed like the safest church I could go to. And sleeping outside that young might have seeped too much dark into my brain and bones. It was not for me to ever recover. The other day I found a quarter in the driveway I lost at the Mecosta State Fair in 1947 and missed out on five rides including the Ferris wheel and the Tilt-A-Whirl. I sat in anger for hours in the bull barn mourning my lost quarter on which the entire tragic history of earth is written. I looked up into the holes of the bulls' massive noses and at the brass rings puncturing their noses which allowed them to be led. It would have been an easier life if I had allowed a ring in my nose but so many years later I still find the spore of the gods here and there but never in the vicinity of quarters."

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#9

Post by cammil » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 11:10 PM UTC

"I just can't shake it" - how do you know that?

Re: Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

#10

Post by ljsocal » Sat, Nov 03, 2018, 11:12 PM UTC

Do a bit of volunteer work for people who are far less fortunate. You’ll start to appreciate what you have and maybe start to reset your priorities and perspective.