21–27 of 27 posts
>that I generally like pleasing people Wrong move buddy - this is 100% the cause of all the issues you're facing. People smell that, they kind of dislike you. BAD people smell that, they exploit your weakness to the max. There is no upside. Work on fixing this immediately.
Large corporate envs are highly political at senior levels. Sounds like you're focused on building solutions and making users happy, which leaves you exposed to backstabbing from peers and seniors. To operate successfully at senior levels in a big corp you need to manage outward and upward. Unfortunately this means spending less time with your team and users, and more time with key peers and seniors to form relations…
Indeed, this is good advice and rings a bell. I am definitely focused on spending time with the team and making sure they are delivering good solutions. I will make sure I spend more time building relationships.
Not saying you shouldn't try to build relationships but I'm not much for hand-holding just so people won't hate you for no reason.
It's ok, you don't have to be friends with everybody.
>that I generally like pleasing people Wrong move buddy - this is 100% the cause of all the issues you're facing. People smell that, they kind of dislike you. BAD people smell that, they exploit your weakness to the max. There is no upside. Work on fixing this immediately.
The problem is... how do I actually fix this? I have considered therapy before, however, I find it particularly hard to pick a given therapist/approach. Do you have any recommendation?
I always try to be nice at the start, but if it goes south I just try to avoid that person. It has worked for me but YMMV.
When they rewrote your components was the solution better or worse? In the 2nd position, do you know why the executive didn't like you? If you don't know, then that's the problem. Maybe you are too proud, perhaps you are too loud, perhaps you smile a lot, perhaps you don't smile a lot. It doesn't matter the reason, it could be valid or not. You need to discover why this executive doesn't like you. If you figure out w…
The startup actually used two different stacks / programming languages. They would generally just port my micro-services from one stack to the other and brag about the fact that they were faster than me in writing them, which, in my opinion, really isn't a fair comparison given that porting something is a lot easier than writing from scratch (since you don't have to make decisions about architecture, etc). On your se…
Once you understand him, you can make a gameplan. Since you said the exec is close with the CEO, he's probably a good friend to have, and patching things up with him can really improve how you look to the CEO.
Business is about people, and technical accomplishment only goes so far. Figure out how to make the right people happy and you'll go far.
>that I generally like pleasing people Wrong move buddy - this is 100% the cause of all the issues you're facing. People smell that, they kind of dislike you. BAD people smell that, they exploit your weakness to the max. There is no upside. Work on fixing this immediately.
Hopefully this is one of those times I find a comment horrifying/depressing but they didn't really mean what I thought they meant.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
The problem is... how do I actually fix this? I have considered therapy before, however, I find it particularly hard to pick a given therapist/approach. Do you have any recommendation?
Just accept that you don't need to be friends with everybody. Some people you just will not get along with. Whether it's you or them that's responsible is not really important. I always try to be nice at the start, but if it goes south I just try to avoid that person. It has worked for me but YMMV.
You do NOT have to be nice to people who are mean to you.