Myth of the Brown Recluse

In Virginia there are only two known populations of venomous spiders, the black widow and the brown recluse. A black widow bite was ruled out because I did not exhibit any of the "typical" symptoms that they'd had experience with. I didn't have any pain outside of the bit marks (until later when my lymphatic system started to show signs of blood poisoning and an ache set in). From what I understand black widow bites start off as a "bee sting" type pain and then progress to abdominal pain and full-body muscle spasms.

But as you alluded to, without a specimen, it was an educated guess on their part based on my memory of where I'd been during the week prior to the bite.

And then we all keep reading stories about areas in which we aren’t experts, and it doesn’t occur to us that are likely equally misleading.

Because if we all factored that in, we wouldn’t believe any news.

And I guess we feel better thinking we know what’s going on, rather than acknowledging we are in the dark.

When I say infestation, I mean it literally. It was very unusual to make it to bedtime without killing at least one Brown Recluse. The most we ever killed in one night was 15. We would wake up all hours of the night, turn on our phone flashlights, and scan the room for any lurking on the ceiling or walls. Usually, the midnight scans would bear fruit. To this day I wake up in the middle of the night and reach for my phone before remembering that I'm no longer in that situation.

One year and one week after moving into the apartment, I was bitten. One of the poor creatures found its way under my covers and into my shirt while I was sleeping. I rolled over on top of it and it bit me. The burn/itching actually woke me up shortly after and I was able to recover the spider from inside my shirt. I absolutely panicked, rounded up my entire family to drive me to the ER at 3 AM (because surely I was going to go into some kind of shock or other state of impairment) and even called the doctor on the way. Halfway to the ER, the doctor called back. He told me not to panic, and that there was actually nothing they could do about it right this minute. He told me to go home, go to sleep, and watch the bite for any signs of infection/necrosis.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the best advice I've ever heard regarding Brown Recluses.

All in all, the bite amounted to little more than a massive mosquito bite. My body did have an allergic reaction (broke out in a rash head to toe) but it was honestly nothing like the horror stories. We moved two months later, but I'll never let myself forget the overreaction I presented and how silly it all was.

I actually started to feel that I was getting to know them. Brown Recluses are exactly that: reclusive. They want nothing to do with us. They are magnificent hunters and terrible climbers (this is how they end up in your bed: they fall). They tend to stick to the edges of the room and are the only spider I've ever seen with a distinct "stalk" instead of a twitchy walk. They're honestly beautiful to watch (as I used to often).

If you do have a Brown Recluse problem, don't panic. It took me over a year to get bitten while living in an actual nest of them and even then it was a freak accident. Buy yourself some of those rectangular glue traps and place them along your walls, behind furniture, and in the back of closets. Brown Recluses can be dangerous to children under the age of 7 and the elderly (which is why we moved promptly) so don't ignore them entirely. Learn to respect them for what they are just like anything else.