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Tell us your naughty stories

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81–90 of 379 posts

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#81
post #4

On my recent trip to Africa, I avoided giving bribes at 3 different spots in the airport by doing the following: When they asked me for "something to have lunch with", I'd lower my voice and say "it's not possible now" then quickly glance at the person behind me. Neither I nor them had to pay anything.

This reminds me of the opening scene in Juzo Itami's Minbo-no Onna. Nobuko Miyamoto's character does something similar with the yakuza.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#82
Crashed countless high profile parties. An example: when I was living in Bangkok, after a Fado opera I walked right into the royal after party. Spent some time chatting with a princess and the queen.

Treat the velvet rope as a suggestion. Walk on in casually and confidently as though you have 100% right to be there, half the time nobody will stop you...especially if you are dressed properly.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#83

My girlfriend is English and I'm American. We met while traveling, so for the first several years we were together neither of us had a visa to reside in the other's country. For a while we'd fly back and forth between the US and England every few months, and we did a bunch of traveling to allow the return restrictions to expire. Finally we got fed up and simply moved to Spain, where neither one of us is allowed to li…

The UK and Spain are in the EU. EU citizens can freely move between member states (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Market_(European_Union...), so your girlfriend can legally live in Spain for as long as she wishes.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#84
Sold instructions on ebay about how to beat a little known tax law [it's now plugged]. A friend went to work for the tax man and in training they were told about me and how it's so important to not let these tricks get out, as it could cost the country lots of money. I promptly stopped as I didn't realize I was on their radar!

Reverse engineered an algorithm from a huge international company who kept it under lock and key using publicly available data and used it with their competitors. They still have it under lock and key.

Bought textbooks at fundraising sales and sold them to university students the next year for a 3000% markup.

Others I'd only tell in person :)

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What does '"Skolka kilometer Volgograd?" will do. When they answer, nod, smile, shake their hand and say, "Speciba."' mean? I'm having no luck with online translators.

From context, I'm guessing, "How many kilometers to Volgograd?" and "Thanks"

That's correct guess.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#86
I was applying for a temp position and said I knew Office 97 when I only knew 95, and not the advanced stuff.

The temp agency had a computerized test for Office, which displayed a real Office UI and a text bar above that would say things like "Now, print this document." If you selected anything other than File, Print, it would immediately score against you and move on. Whoever wrote the program thought they were pretty clever to have it register a mistake once you picked a menu option, and not to let you hunt around for the right answer.

I soon realized that as long as I kept the mouse button down, I could move the cursor through all the menus without triggering a "selected" event. By going through the menus I found the answers easily, and I was able to score 99% on the test (the one error I made happened before I figured out the cheat).

Oh, and the company I went to work for hired me from the temp agency.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#87
post #83

My girlfriend is English and I'm American. We met while traveling, so for the first several years we were together neither of us had a visa to reside in the other's country. For a while we'd fly back and forth between the US and England every few months, and we did a bunch of traveling to allow the return restrictions to expire. Finally we got fed up and simply moved to Spain, where neither one of us is allowed to li…

The UK and Spain are in the EU. EU citizens can freely move between member states ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Market_(European_Union... ), so your girlfriend can legally live in Spain for as long as she wishes.

Indeed. That's actually how we managed to rent an apartment, since she was legally allowed to live there.

I, however, was the stereotypical undocumented alien, living in the country illegally, not learning the language or integrating with the culture, stealing jobs from the local economy, sneaking across the border into the land of opportunity.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#88

I used to work as a salaried employee for a consulting firm. I'd record my hours on a timesheet so that they could bill the right clients, but anything over 40 hours a week was ignored on my paycheck. The understanding was that if ever your hours dropped below 40, you could bill an overhead number to make up for the difference, thus the fairness of not getting paid for overtime. So a year in, I only managed to find 3…

Wasn't it obvious to them before the meeting why you hadn't filled it in?

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#89

I used to work as a salaried employee for a consulting firm. I'd record my hours on a timesheet so that they could bill the right clients, but anything over 40 hours a week was ignored on my paycheck. The understanding was that if ever your hours dropped below 40, you could bill an overhead number to make up for the difference, thus the fairness of not getting paid for overtime. So a year in, I only managed to find 3…

[deleted]

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#90
post #83

My girlfriend is English and I'm American. We met while traveling, so for the first several years we were together neither of us had a visa to reside in the other's country. For a while we'd fly back and forth between the US and England every few months, and we did a bunch of traveling to allow the return restrictions to expire. Finally we got fed up and simply moved to Spain, where neither one of us is allowed to li…

The UK and Spain are in the EU. EU citizens can freely move between member states ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Market_(European_Union... ), so your girlfriend can legally live in Spain for as long as she wishes.

Conversely, you can probably become a citizen of an EU country that doesn't have stringent requirements and go live in England (I'm not sure if the requirements are set by the EU itself, though).
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