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Tell us your naughty stories

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11–20 of 379 posts

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#11
I spent 6 months commuting between France and Germany flying on a Sunday night in one direction and a Friday night in the other. To avoid waiting in airports for any length of time I hacked my boarding passes.

I was always flying in economy but I would check in on line and print my real boarding pass, then modify the PDF of the boarding pass and change it to a seat in business with whatever other indications where necessary for a genuine business class passenger (e.g. the word BUSINESS or PREMIUM in big letters). I got all that information by picking up a discarded boarding pass at the airport.

Then I could arrive at the airport and skip all the lines using my fake boarding pass to go down the special business class channel and then use my real boarding pass to board the plane.

I only did this at airports where boarding passes were manually verified.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#12

Pretty minor, but while working on FedFunds/Eurodollar trading software at a big bank, I came in on the weekend and reconfigured my cubicle walls so that the entrance was in the same aisle as my coworkers, rather than being on the opposite side and having to walk all the way around to talk to them. Normally I believe that sort of thing involved the maintenance staff, etc, at who-knows-what expense.

Egads man. Keep it safe for work.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#13
My high school had a work study program that was designed for students that weren't planning to attend college (IE: auto mechanic, electrician, cosmetologist). It allowed these students to get a job before they even graduated, and made their job search significantly easier. As a senior, I was the first student to take advantage of work study with the intention of going to college. It took many meetings with the principal and my teachers, but was worth working for a startup in NYC :).

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#14
when I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the fuck out of her.

By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small tits will entirely black and blue, her pussy was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.

When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.

I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actually hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.

It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of cum ever all over face and chest.

Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick and tossed it to her.

I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of high school kids did it.

When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#15
In a dorm, in the pre-digital cable days and before our dorm officially had cable, we bought hundreds of feet of cable and some signal amplifiers and gained access to the basement/maintenance areas and spliced the cable feed from the Dean who had it and ran cable up through the ducts to the ten or so rooms in our wing. Over Winter break, we came back and found the signal lost (someone had removed a segment to tell us that yeah, we know what you're doing). We replaced it.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#16
I bootstrapped my first startup by playing roulette in a casino every night. A Cinema close by was giving out 10 Euro coupons for the casino to play with, so we went first to the cinema every night, asked the people coming out for their tickets and then hit the casino to play with the 10 Euros. Each of us were netting about 400 Euros per month, which was enough to cover the ramen ;-) And that for a nice refreshing half an hour tour in the evening.

The stupid EU put an end to it by changing the gambling laws and prohibiting casinos to give out coupons for chips - someone might get addicted - instead the new coupons allowed free entry and a drink, but until then it worked like a charm.

The casino people were a little freaked out at first, shooting us suspicious looks but after three weeks they got used to us...;-)

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#17
post #4

On my recent trip to Africa, I avoided giving bribes at 3 different spots in the airport by doing the following: When they asked me for "something to have lunch with", I'd lower my voice and say "it's not possible now" then quickly glance at the person behind me. Neither I nor them had to pay anything.

Genius.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#18
I rode a motorcycle across Russia and several of the former Soviet republics eight years ago. You can't help but learn many useful hacks along the way.

Here's one: How to deal with the police. Their work is boring and it's not unusual for them to go long stretches of time without being paid. They see you coming up the road-- They're curious and you look interesting. They motion for you to pull over and unless you've managed to get so close that you can plausibly claim you didn't see the baton waving you'd better obey them.

The hack: For goodness sake don't sit their dumbly and wait for them to speak up! If you do they'll have to justify pulling you over. "Document!", and you're screwed. The next thirty minutes are spent going through your papers and your belongings while they look for any pretense to hit you up for a fine/bribe. Yes, it's corrupt, but understand that is the only way of life for them. Empathy and understanding will get you much further than casting judgment.

Be the first to speak. Raise your helmet visor, smile and ask for help of some kind. Even something as simple as, "Skolka kilometer Volgograd?" will do. When they answer, nod, smile, shake their hand and say, "Speciba."

There's a 75% chance you're done and you can go on your way. The remaining 25% involves a longer conversation with limited English (and compliment them on their English no matter what) and pointing out your route on a map and where you're going. They may offer you a drink or to share a meal. Feel free to do so if you have time.

I never once paid a bribe which must be some kind of record.

Re: Tell us your naughty stories

#19
post #5

I started work at a place where I didn't have an office but worked on a folding table with a broken chair in a small storage room. After the first month of this it became intolerable. I noticed though that there was a very large office formerly used as a hardware testing lab that was no longer occupied. I came in one weekend with some friends when no one was there and moved most everything out of that room up two sto…

At my university, they don't give grad students business cards and the only way to order them is to use an internal requisition code. Recently the university spent a huge amount of money on a new "branding campaign". I found some branding documents buried deep in the university website that specified exactly how university business cards should appear. Now I have some very convincing cards from a cheap online stationary vendor.

I give them out all of the time at conferences and other grad students here are always surprised that I have "official" university business cards.

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