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The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

lesspenguiny.com

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Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#91

Post by poc_m »

I love this article. Unfortunately, looking back at conversations I had with people this summer, most of the talks I had very easily fit into these categories.

If one can easily categorize bragging techniques in these buckets, it begs the question: how can a person who is genuinely interested in making a conversation interact with people who brag? A lot of people brag. If that makes you feel bad, do you just give up on them and move on? Is there some way to use these bragging forces to a positive effect?

I'm genuinely asking. I'm constantly craving good connections with people, you don't meet a lot of people who are able to talk about themselves and inspire you without looking like they are bragging and get you annoyed. (Any answer will not fit under the "Beneficence Brag" category since I'm explicitly asking for help :))

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#92

Post by DoofusOfDeath »

@less_penguiny: Very nice article, as others have said. It seems like you really nailed a lot of subtleties.

Your article hinted at a problem we all face: sometimes we're left guessing whether or not the other person is intentionally bragging. I.e., there's a problem of ambiguity.

I'd like to suggest a follow-up article: suggestions for how to communicate certain ideas in a way that minimizes the risk of being interpreted as bragging. Or maybe better, minimizes the risk of making the audience feel bad because of the same underlying psychological issues (insecurity, envy, etc.) that get tickled by bragging.

For example, another comment in this discussion [0] points out how someone trying to praise you could be (mis?)understood as actually bragging. It would be awesome to post a catalog of ways people can avoid this kind of ambiguity.

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18148282

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#93

Post by perpetualcrayon »

On further exploration of this topic, I'm also noticing that maybe I could put a certain spin on this blog post by the following logic. The age we're living in we're seeing a lot of boundaries become far less rigid. Class and social distinction being a few of those boundaries.

I'm not sure if this was the intention of the author, but I'd prefer to look at this maybe as a "guide book" for etiquette in this regard. Regardless of a speaker's intention it's also perception that is at play here. If braggarts are more aware of the audiences they are with, and audiences are less sensitive to these things that separate us in our life experiences, on both ends of the spectrum this has the potential to "move the needle" to a more comfortable place for everyone.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#94

Post by DoofusOfDeath »

This article reminds me of a phenomenon I sometimes see on LinkedIn streams: people who post about their own accomplishments, and use the headline "Humbled to/by ..."

As a contrived example: "Humbled to be named to SomeRandomMagazine's Top 30 under 30 list".

My first thought when seeing such as headline is, like heck that person is humbled. I can't think of any honest reason to post a story about one's own humiliation on a website focused on self-promotion such as LinkedIn.

And, perhaps I'm over-reaching here, but... Based on my assumption that such posts are disingenuous, I hold this against whoever posts it. Not only because it's (AFAICT) dishonest, but because it diminishes the avenues available for persons who which to show genuine contrition as a first step towards righting a wrong.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#95

Post by naasking »

rb808 wrote: post #66

I really dont like bragging, but I've noticed in groups where no one is bragging or talking about themselves its really boring. I have a bunch of really smart friends who do really interesting things and when we meet up its like what are you up to? Nothing much. Nothing interesting. Later you find out that they just visited Mongolia, another is learning Russian and the other built renewable power system for a holiday…

> So I'm starting to rethink my views on bragging. Maybe its a good thing.

I'm not sure sharing should be conflated with bragging. You can talk about things you're doing or building without being excessively proud or boastful.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#96

Post by spdionis »

aj_g wrote: post #82
less_penguiny wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm at a juncture – my last project wound down and I'm considering where to take my career next. Basically my main two options are: * start another technical company and go all-in * freelance half of the time, spend the other half on the LessPenguiny project. Monetization would be nice, but it isn't necessary. I'd sacrifice cash for impact in this area. As for future pieces, I've analyzing my data (about 2000 observa…

Instantly signed up for your mailing list. Was super bummed to see there was only one article on your site! Also, I think you can hit a great niche. I've never found any sort of super qualitative examination on social interactions like you have done. Traditionally HtWFaIP is the 'go to' book for this kind of stuff, but its age shows a little and leaves a lot of implementation details in the dark.

I mean, acronyms are fine but what is HtWFaIP supposed to mean?

Article related funny thought: you're bragging about being in enough on a certain study area that you recognize/use foundational texts by acronym even if they're complicated.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#97

Post by Smilliam »

spdionis wrote: post #96
aj_g wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Instantly signed up for your mailing list. Was super bummed to see there was only one article on your site! Also, I think you can hit a great niche. I've never found any sort of super qualitative examination on social interactions like you have done. Traditionally HtWFaIP is the 'go to' book for this kind of stuff, but its age shows a little and leaves a lot of implementation details in the dark.

I mean, acronyms are fine but what is HtWFaIP supposed to mean? Article related funny thought: you're bragging about being in enough on a certain study area that you recognize/use foundational texts by acronym even if they're complicated.

I believe the acronym stands for the title of the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#98

Post by less_penguiny »

poc_m wrote: post #91

I love this article. Unfortunately, looking back at conversations I had with people this summer, most of the talks I had very easily fit into these categories. If one can easily categorize bragging techniques in these buckets, it begs the question: how can a person who is genuinely interested in making a conversation interact with people who brag? A lot of people brag. If that makes you feel bad, do you just give up…

I don't have a general solution but perhaps a few ideas:

One is to lower your threshold for what you count as being bragging — sometimes people are just sharing and they don't mean any harm. And sometimes they just really need validation. But then again, despite their benign intentions, hearing their status might sting, especially if things aren't going your way lately.

Another option is to poke fun at them, assuming you are on joking terms yadayada. E.g. I caught myself bragging about the achievements of my previous business partner at a party last weekend and the room was having none of it. As soon as I finished my sentence, they erupted into "woopdey doo" or (impersonating me) "I don't mean to brag or anything!!"

So there's that.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#99

Post by jaclaz »

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see what I call "deal bragging" (which is very common I believe and that particularly irks me).

Basically everyone (but me) manages to get things (or work done) for much less than their common market value is or however much less than what I can get it at.

Be it a car, a pair of trousers or a phone, or the renovation works of his/her bathroom, the "deal bragger" tells you that he/she found (through his/her network or friends, or internet, or whatever other means) a supplier that sold the item to him/her at an unrealistically discounted price or - say - a plumber that did the work for a fraction of what is normal for that kind of work.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#100

Post by Digit-Al »

less_penguiny wrote: post #75
conesus wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Check the links on the stories, it doesn’t yet work. Also, why truncate the feed?

well spotted. both should be addressed now

Another tiny little cosmetic error. On your about page you talk about being "file" star Jeff Goldblum. Should that be "film" star?
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