The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging • Hacker News Board

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#81

Post by amsilprotag » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 4:00 PM UTC

rb808 wrote: post #66

I really dont like bragging, but I've noticed in groups where no one is bragging or talking about themselves its really boring. I have a bunch of really smart friends who do really interesting things and when we meet up its like what are you up to? Nothing much. Nothing interesting. Later you find out that they just visited Mongolia, another is learning Russian and the other built renewable power system for a holiday…

I'm surprised the author quoted Why Nerds are Unpopular and didn't cite what I feel like is the most relevant part:

When there is some real external test of skill, it isn't painful to be at the bottom of the hierarchy. A rookie on a football team doesn't resent the skill of the veteran; he hopes to be like him one day and is happy to have the chance to learn from him. The veteran may in turn feel a sense of noblesse oblige. And most importantly, their status depends on how well they do against opponents, not on whether they can push the other down.

It is nice to be in a group where people can do praise-worthy things and be praised for them. And, as the conclusion addresses, it is nice to give praise when due. This norm can be eroded by braggers. But it can also be eroded by people taking any mention of an accomplishment as a slight.

For example, the Oxford anecdote seems like the author going out of his way to feel slighted and assume malice. The excited salesperson anecdote is similar. Do others have a duty to mask excitement out of worry that it could be interpreted as bragging?

One of the best habits I have adopted is muttering "good on them" and moving along when an emotion suspiciously similar to jealously starts bubbling up.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#82

Post by aj_g » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 4:01 PM UTC

less_penguiny wrote: post #49

brianmcc wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have now subscribed! What ideas you thinking about for your next pieces? And what are your goals if you don't mind me asking, I mean I don't see any obvious monetization stuff on your site? If you get 10m views a month does that help you avoid rejoining the rat race or are you not really thinking so far ahead yet?

I'm at a juncture – my last project wound down and I'm considering where to take my career next. Basically my main two options are: * start another technical company and go all-in * freelance half of the time, spend the other half on the LessPenguiny project. Monetization would be nice, but it isn't necessary. I'd sacrifice cash for impact in this area. As for future pieces, I've analyzing my data (about 2000 observa…

Instantly signed up for your mailing list. Was super bummed to see there was only one article on your site!

Also, I think you can hit a great niche. I've never found any sort of super qualitative examination on social interactions like you have done. Traditionally HtWFaIP is the 'go to' book for this kind of stuff, but its age shows a little and leaves a lot of implementation details in the dark.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#83

Post by brianmcc » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 4:05 PM UTC

less_penguiny wrote: post #49

brianmcc wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have now subscribed! What ideas you thinking about for your next pieces? And what are your goals if you don't mind me asking, I mean I don't see any obvious monetization stuff on your site? If you get 10m views a month does that help you avoid rejoining the rat race or are you not really thinking so far ahead yet?

I'm at a juncture – my last project wound down and I'm considering where to take my career next. Basically my main two options are: * start another technical company and go all-in * freelance half of the time, spend the other half on the LessPenguiny project. Monetization would be nice, but it isn't necessary. I'd sacrifice cash for impact in this area. As for future pieces, I've analyzing my data (about 2000 observa…

Well - good luck whichever path you take. Re your future pieces they all sound interesting.

Out of interest are you a natural intuitive "people person"? I am not - which is maybe why this stuff is so interesting to me. But when it's explained the explanations often feel "right", I wouldn't say emotions and interactions go entirely over my head.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#84

Post by devin » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 4:24 PM UTC

dogreborn wrote: post #69

Retra wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is "free?" I eat food regularly and have never had to raise animals or crops, nor harvest or butcher them. I live in a home I didn't build. I don't see how that is a tragedy. It seems like things are going pretty easy for a good number of us.

I've also sold an startup for millions... but not everyone is having it easy. Many work in Amazon warehouse to meet their daily rent/food requirement. I can assure you many aren't happy with it.

Stop it.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#85

Post by perpetualcrayon » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 4:29 PM UTC

I think sure there is bragging in the world, but in my experience I have come to learn that most of it is in the head of the person judging you, or you judging the other person's intention. I'd say probably 90% of what people think is bragging is more likely simply misunderstanding or a difference in one's perception and / or misreading context of either party. Or even each party's difference in upbringing / understanding of or attention toward certain styles of etiquette.

The other 10% is probably legitimately what I would call bragging, none of which really tends to get under my skin.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#86

Post by C4stor » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 4:31 PM UTC

akhilcacharya wrote: post #77

Absolutely love this article! This one especially popped out at me > IV Brag Gags: Avoiding Bragging At All Costs I've met too many people that say they "go to school near Boston" or "work in Mountain View". I don't think it's the intention, but more than the "status anxiety" part sometimes it feels like the other party seems like the listener isn't "worthy" of knowing, or at least should know from the implication if…

Well, I'm guilty of that, but it's because I don't assume people actually know the specific company I work at, or the university I went to. Even if the latter is generally deemed "prestigious", in the end, only a small set of people know it, so it's a generally useless precision.

Admittedly, if you work for a let's say a GAFA, you can probably safely assume people know the name. But for let's say MIT, I'd very curious to know which percentage of the us population actually know the name and attach it to academic excellence.

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#87

Post by titzer » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 4:34 PM UTC

ashelmire wrote: post #12

The unfortunate reality is that if you don’t sing your own praises, you will miss out on opportunities in life. Most people don’t have the time to really pay attention to what you’re doing (bosses, interviewers, dating interests, etc), so you have to make them aware - or you’re just off in the corner being unseen.

The timing of telling might be as important as the doing. If, for example, someone asks about X and you did X three months ago, and you only tell them now, after they mention it, you might put it into their heads "holy shit, this person did X, which I thought was hard, and either forgot about it, or forgot to brag, wow..."

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#88

Post by dogreborn » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 4:45 PM UTC

blackbrokkoli wrote: post #79

dogreborn wrote: post #2

Think about it! If you have a lamborghini and none of your neighbors have it, and they regularly wait for buss. Then you'll be happy but your neighbors will not be happy It's a human nature to set themself different which is a source of worries for others who do not achieve the same thing Arguably we will be much happier if everyone has same height, same face, same income, same kind IQ etc... We can surely research,…

Please keep the discussion on topic. You start with an example from the article but then just ramble about massively over-simplified issues and socialist strawmans, adding in some up-to-date buzz like amazon workers. This is not constructive.

[flagged]

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#89

Post by draw_down » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 5:04 PM UTC

Nobody likes a braggart but the author strikes me as way oversensitive to anyone saying anything positive about themselves, their accomplishments or possessions. (Or not even actually saying - implying is enough!)

You can taxonify every imagined slight into ever-so-finely distinguished categories, or you can think hard thoughts about why it bothers you so much. Personally I prefer to go for the latter- I'm bothered, but why? What's going on with me that whatever another person said is affecting me this way? What insecurity has it hit upon, why am I insecure about it?

Re: The Best Article Ever Written About Bragging

#90

Post by akhilcacharya » Fri, Oct 05, 2018, 5:05 PM UTC

C4stor wrote: post #86

akhilcacharya wrote: post #77

Absolutely love this article! This one especially popped out at me > IV Brag Gags: Avoiding Bragging At All Costs I've met too many people that say they "go to school near Boston" or "work in Mountain View". I don't think it's the intention, but more than the "status anxiety" part sometimes it feels like the other party seems like the listener isn't "worthy" of knowing, or at least should know from the implication if…

Well, I'm guilty of that, but it's because I don't assume people actually know the specific company I work at, or the university I went to. Even if the latter is generally deemed "prestigious", in the end, only a small set of people know it, so it's a generally useless precision. Admittedly, if you work for a let's say a GAFA, you can probably safely assume people know the name. But for let's say MIT, I'd very curiou…

> I don't assume people actually know the specific company I work at, or the university I went to.

When I started interning out of state I thought this as well, but then people thought I was just obfuscating going to Duke or UNC (when in reality my actual school was a few tiers lower). In most circumstances where this sort of thing would come up, I would imagine even the general public would understand the weight MIT has - hell, Tony Stark went there!

(Also, what's GAFA? Google, Apple, Facebook, Airbnb?)