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Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

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Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#251

Post by sulam »

krageon wrote: post #247
xfitm3 wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The credit score remark is a reference to losing half your assets and/or taking on your partners debt if things go wrong.

Do most people really not marry with prenup?

California has a difficult relationship with prenups. My wife and I essentially have to keep our pre-wedding finances completely separate or they become marital assets and subject to a 50/50 split. Any debts we incur past the date of our marriage are marital debts I believe, and prenups aren’t enforceable.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#252

Post by magduf »

jriot wrote: post #208
sulam wrote: post #150

They really buried the lede. There are two things happening here that can arguably be traced to one cause: Educated millennials apparently see marriage as something you do _after_ you've finished establishing yourself. It is a goal, not a given. Uneducated millennials apparently have the _same_ point of view, but they aren't established and therefore they aren't getting married. Given that marriage often means you en…

My wife and I got married young, 21 and 20. Neither of us had any financial issues because we were too young to have any financial issues. Twelve years later and we are still married. By sharing our 20s together it allowed us to see each other grow personally, professionally and together in many ways. Neither of us views marriage in terms of financial purposes. There are economic benefits we see. For example I work f…

You got lucky, and you possibly also made a good choice. You also found each other at a time when you were both young and impressionable and not set in your ways or scarred by failed marriages or relationships. But largely, I think you were lucky: you managed to find someone who wasn't going to be a financial disaster for you. You could have married a girl who, as soon the paychecks started rolling in, wanted to spend it all on crap.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#253

Post by magduf »

trentlott wrote: post #237
extragood wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unintended pregnancy in US teens has consistently dropped by quite a bit [1], and I have to imagine that has reduced the number of "shotgun weddings" at a young age. That said, the number of unintended pregnancies by people at and below the poverty line has actually risen somehow. [1] https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-u...

The concerted effort to shut down Planned Parenthood, probably. When you remove and important and often sole provider of family planning, the planning part goes astray. My biggest question is who profits from eliminating places like that? I don't buy that it's just about abortion and religion (and therefore politics, in the US.)

Don't underestimate the power of religious, irrational thinking. People in the middle east have been fighting to the death over completely irrational religious issues for literally thousands of years now. Not everything has a profit motive behind it.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#254

Post by blktiger »

jriot wrote: post #228
LilBytes wrote: post #224

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Congratulations on finding yourselves so young and more importantly, being in a position where you were both able to grow with one and other. :) I'm rather envious. But like the OP above you mentioned, I wasn't in a position where I could or should be committing to life with some one. I guess that's where today's culture is a lot more forgiving and not forcing our generation to adhere to traditional social roles. I c…

I can't say our first few years of marriage were easy by any stretch of the definition. We struggled with a variety of issues - sudden death of her father, back to back deployments (her and I) and the general stresses of marriage and the military. The first 2 - 3 years were the most difficult but once she decided to separate marriage became easier. Then I separated and marriage was blissful - now that I work from hom…

I have to whole-heartedly agree. My wife and I both got married young as well (23/21), spent the first two years of marriage living in separate states, were broke as crap but not in debt, and came out the other side doing great. I think the key to marriage is simple, you both _commit_ to being married no matter what. You can work through any problem as long as you are committed to doing so.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#255

Post by magduf »

nostrademons wrote: post #221
ryanobjc wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A meta comment, this kind of thread is why I don't respect hackernews commenters anymore. It frequently goes like so: - Comment: Something - Reply: But my experience says otherwise, why are you so wrong? There is a persistent lack of ability to see other people's point of view. Surely it is not everyone here, but it's enough such that things get really boring here.

That's part of what I like about Hacker News. They may not be able to see each other's POV, but I can. I come out with a richer appreciation for the diversity of experience out there from reading it, even if all the participants do is argue.

I like his comment. I think what he's saying is not that he doesn't appreciate diversity, his complaint is the way in which people discuss these issues: instead of being respectful and level-headed, they act like extremists. I think this is common to people in this profession. There's some other forums where I see a similar dynamic, and then there's other forums where it's completely different. Let's just say that the forums where people are nicer and more respectful have few, if any, engineers.

Remember, there was a study a while back that showed that engineers have a greater propensity to become terrorists. People who gravitate toward engineering have much more black-and-white thinking, and with that comes a greater tendency towards extremism.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#256

Post by groby_b »

jriot wrote: post #208
sulam wrote: post #150

They really buried the lede. There are two things happening here that can arguably be traced to one cause: Educated millennials apparently see marriage as something you do _after_ you've finished establishing yourself. It is a goal, not a given. Uneducated millennials apparently have the _same_ point of view, but they aren't established and therefore they aren't getting married. Given that marriage often means you en…

My wife and I got married young, 21 and 20. Neither of us had any financial issues because we were too young to have any financial issues. Twelve years later and we are still married. By sharing our 20s together it allowed us to see each other grow personally, professionally and together in many ways. Neither of us views marriage in terms of financial purposes. There are economic benefits we see. For example I work f…

I'm glad you're rarely seeing a doctor, but... you're early thirties. Unless you injure yourself, that should be the normal case. It's not the homemade pies :) (Although those are a good thing for very different reasons. Yum. Homemade pie)

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#257

Post by astura »

gumby wrote: post #155
sulam wrote: post #150

They really buried the lede. There are two things happening here that can arguably be traced to one cause: Educated millennials apparently see marriage as something you do _after_ you've finished establishing yourself. It is a goal, not a given. Uneducated millennials apparently have the _same_ point of view, but they aren't established and therefore they aren't getting married. Given that marriage often means you en…

> Given that marriage often means you end up with the lower of the two credit scores Does anyone actually think this way?? Honestly I can’t imagibe ever thinking financially when I proposed.

Good God, you're kidding right?

Making sure you are financially compatible with your spouse is just as important as making sure you are emotionally compatible. Financial issues are the #1 cause of stress in marriages.

Civil marriage is very similar to a business partnership.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#258

Post by astura »

hndamien wrote: post #230
whamlastxmas wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The rate was 12% but you completely ignore the average home price and its relation to average income. Housing was tremendously less expensive (even after interest), largely in part to the higher rate.

High rates result in lower prices. Low rates result in higher prices. The rate on its own is really pretty irrelevant.

Exactly.

Most home buyers take out a mortgage. Most people also look at monthly payments as a proxy for affordability. Monthly payments raise when interest rates rise.

Therefore, sellers need to ask for lower prices when rates are high in order to attract buyers. A $150,000 mortgage at 12% interest has monthly payments of $1,543, at 5% interest its $805.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#259

Post by astura »

nightski wrote: post #175
detaro wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many people still are living together and splitting bills without being married, so it's not all that relevant to the question.

It's pretty relevant if married people are more likely to be living together and splitting bills, which is probably the case.

Not only that, but married people have lower costs vs the same two people simply cohabiting.

Lower insurance rates (home, auto)

(usually) lower health insurance rates (family plan rather than two single plans). My company doesn't even charge a premium for putting your non-working spouse on your plan.

(usually) Tax benefits

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#260

Post by neogodless »

magic_beans wrote: post #164
neogodless wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My advice? Don't have a relatively cheap wedding. Have a _cheap_ wedding. (Do not waste two years of your life making money that you blow on 6 hours of rituals.) Our wedding cost less than $1000 (near Philadelphia, so HCOL area), and is described by friends as "beautiful" and "one of my all-time favorites."

How did you pull that off?

First, the "cheating!"

  - family and friends helped us with food prep and photography
  - in-laws donated food and some drinks
  - family friend made us a cake and other baked goods
  - borrowed chairs from workplace
  - in-laws provided a venue for the after party (their house!)
Now, the expenses

  - #1 expense was the officiant
  - rented a park pavilion on a hillside overlooking a lake ($125)
  - alcohol and drinks
  - flowers (low cost) and decorations (local party store)
  - some homemade decorations
  - custom table gifts
We got lucky on the weather (that's my superpower) - a perfect, dry 80F day. The wedding ceremony was under a tree with chairs for the immediate family, and only lasted about 5 minutes. The reception was in a nearby pavilion with additional tables and chairs added.

We didn't have alcohol at the park - we migrated to my in-laws for that.

Any downsides?

  - I wouldn't have minded having someone with DJ experience there to keep things on schedule, and get people dancing
  - Along with the above, I would've liked to move to the after-party a little sooner. Drinks help people loosen up ;)
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