Liking, respect and depth of rapport are overlapping but different. Some people like a fool but don't respect them, and respect a criminal without liking them. Others have deep rapport with someone they're ambivalent about because of circumstances.
People Like You More Than You Know
21–30 of 220 posts
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#22I'm sure this is true. Another thing I'm sure of is how little time most people spend thinking about other people. Even the people in my life I don't care for, I rarely spend more than a passing moment thinking about them, even if they're in the same room. The ones I do think about a lot are the ones I love (wife, children, closest friends). Despite knowing this, though, I'll admit that I can spend a lot of time thin…
This reminds me of a fortune cookie I once had, that I first thought was aggressive, and then I found liberating: "You'd care less about what people think about you if you realized how little they do"
Another related quote: “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#23These are true stories. I don't wish to come across as bragging.
The last day of a job I had for seven years, the director of engineering told me I was the best engineer he ever knew. And he worked for some pretty well known engineering firms. If he had told me that before, I might not have left.
A woman came into my office--someone who didn't seem to want to give me the time of day--and the conversation got around to her telling me how depressed she was about her life and loves. After maybe 10 minutes, she thanked me for being such a good listener and said something about I was just so charismatic. I almost fell out of my chair.
I taught electronics at a trade school to a morning class for a couple of years. There were hundreds of students, and I knew I was a good teacher, but I didn't think the students thought once about me when they went home. On my last day of work, one of the guys asked me to give a special last lecture on a topic. As I walked into the room, I was followed by students from my class, the afternoon class and the evening class! They filled the room and presented me with a fairly expensive bottle of whiskey.
I've had a few girls tell me, after it was too late, that they always had a crush on me. Well, I was interested in them, too.
If someone would have just said something sooner, life, for me, would be totally different now.
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#24Anyone got a link to the paper referenced? I followed the link in the article but got hit with a login wall.
[deleted]
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#25These are true stories. I don't wish to come across as bragging. The last day of a job I had for seven years, the director of engineering told me I was the best engineer he ever knew. And he worked for some pretty well known engineering firms. If he had told me that before, I might not have left. A woman came into my office--someone who didn't seem to want to give me the time of day--and the conversation got around t…
I can certainly relate. But the thing is, a lot of times people don't say anything. And life can sometimes require us to be a bit bolder than we otherwise would be, to get what we want.
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#26Anyone got a link to the paper referenced? I followed the link in the article but got hit with a login wall.
From the website of the lead author: http://www.ericaboothby.com/s/The-Liking-Gap.pdf
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#27This reminds me of the saying, "We're not who we think we are. Nor are we what others think we are. Rather, we are who we think others think we are."
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#28These are true stories. I don't wish to come across as bragging. The last day of a job I had for seven years, the director of engineering told me I was the best engineer he ever knew. And he worked for some pretty well known engineering firms. If he had told me that before, I might not have left. A woman came into my office--someone who didn't seem to want to give me the time of day--and the conversation got around t…
This is why you shouldn't be afraid to give out (truthful) compliments folks. For a small communication effort, you may make a big enough impact for your compliment to be remembered for years. Maybe the person will even smile to themselves and write a nice HN comment about it! (or not quit your company)...
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#29I'm sure this is true. Another thing I'm sure of is how little time most people spend thinking about other people. Even the people in my life I don't care for, I rarely spend more than a passing moment thinking about them, even if they're in the same room. The ones I do think about a lot are the ones I love (wife, children, closest friends). Despite knowing this, though, I'll admit that I can spend a lot of time thin…
[deleted]
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#30These are true stories. I don't wish to come across as bragging. The last day of a job I had for seven years, the director of engineering told me I was the best engineer he ever knew. And he worked for some pretty well known engineering firms. If he had told me that before, I might not have left. A woman came into my office--someone who didn't seem to want to give me the time of day--and the conversation got around t…
This is why you shouldn't be afraid to give out (truthful) compliments folks. For a small communication effort, you may make a big enough impact for your compliment to be remembered for years. Maybe the person will even smile to themselves and write a nice HN comment about it! (or not quit your company)...
After a presentation about the software we built the last year for internal consumption (something we do twice a year -the talk, I mean), this high-rank guy come to my office and told me I was a really good presentator and that "We are wasting your talents, you must give more talks or training". I did not expect that. I felt very grateful for his words.