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Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

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Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#51

Post by ultraforce »

petercooper wrote: post #2

It was disheartening to be outwardly liked and praised but to never receive a real promotion. I've noticed this as a common unfortunate side effect of disclosing anything that has a stigma attached and explains why the upper echelons of most pursuits (politics, business, sport) still tend to be quite homogenous. While a small but ever increasing spotlight is being shone on issues faced by various minorities in the wo…

I am personally really lucky as I am pretty high functioning on the spectrum, I am studying to go into the tech industry and my parents are both very supportive and our family is upper middle class.

That's just to say results may vary but I know there are multiple organizations that have come to do stuff at my university to set up job opportunities for those on the spectrum. They also function to inform students on the spectrum of the labour laws in Ontario and what that means in terms of helping people on the spectrum work as well as they can.

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#52

Post by jasonlotito »

awakeasleep wrote: post #44
ciaranm wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey, just want to say that I've watched my own parents handle this with my youngest brother (now 13). It's incredibly difficult and draining both physically and emotionally. I can't imagine how tough it is first hand as a parent.

Does it at least improve as they get older?

Not the OP, but I can answer this.

It depends. Autism is a spectrum, not a single condition. I have two children with autism, and they are different. The younger one is much more self-sufficient than the older one. Has it gotten easier? With the younger one? Yes. With the older one? No.

The reasons are many. Both are still in diapers at 8 and 9 (soon to be 10), though the 8-year-old is getting potty trained. We are hopeful. The older one will probably never be out of diapers. The older one is also fairly big for his age. He always has been. He's also strong, does not know his own strength, and almost the height of my wife. She cannot lift him. Luckily, he's an affectionate child, so usually he just wants hugs or to sit on laps and be tickled. We have a stroller for him so we can take him places as he has low-tone muscles. Both are a flight risk (though the younger one is better now). The older one would wander into the road without a care.

But it's hard. Really hard.

And as they get older, there will be less and less support. At some point, we will not be able to properly care for him. However, society for the most part ignores this (despite the US doing a very good job compared to other nations).

I love my children. I love that they are happy. They smile, they laugh, and that's all I want for them for their lives. Your priorities as a parent quickly changes when you learn this. Instead of hoping they have a good job and are successful, you reevaluate your hopes and aspirations for them and you. You realize that success isn't money or a startup, it's happiness. If my older child is happy for the rest of his life, how can I feel anything less than joy. I know people far more "successful" and far more "wealthy" and "doing what they love" and yet, they won't ever be as happy as my sons are.

But it's hard. It's just hard because everything is harder than it should be. Everything takes longer, everything requires compromise, and not everything is available to you.

The thing to remember is that my story is mine alone. Autism is a spectrum, and some will have it much easier. I love my two boys, and I would do anything for them, and all I want is for them to be happy.

But it's hard.

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#53

Post by [deleted] »

_d8k6 wrote: post #33
matkinz wrote: post #3

Disclosing a mental illness at work sounds like the worst idea you could ever have. I think it's better not to say anything and, if you wrong someone because of your illness, maybe tell that person in private and apologise. Unfortunately doing that makes it sound like an excuse. I'm not saying I have a better solution. Some people simply aren't apt for the real world. That's sad but it's the truth.

Autism is not a mental illness. I am not mentally ill. I was born with a disability which causes social impairments and a host of other symptoms. Being Autistic is beyond my control, and is untreatable other than just trying my damndest to “pass” as neurotypical whereever and however I can. I find it incredibly insulting and damaging to label me as mentally ill.

[deleted]

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#54

Post by TrinaryWorksToo »

scardine wrote: post #42
TrinaryWorksToo wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It can be more than you think. Be careful saying that.

Sure, I agree autism can be very debilitating and pose a heavy burden on the individual and the family. In my family we tend to fell on the lighter side of the spectrum. My 5yo boy is officially diagnosed and he is really smart. My father was definitely autistic although never diagnosed. I was lucky enough to have a false twin brother (11 months younger) that was the most popular guy at school while I was the weirdes…

I fall on the "lighter" side too, in the sense that it's not as immediately obvious. It's still been really hard when I have to do high intensity CPU tasks while also doing things that people use their GPU for, like whiteboard interviews or remembering stories

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#55

Post by 6stringmerc »

_d8k6 wrote: post #33
matkinz wrote: post #3

Disclosing a mental illness at work sounds like the worst idea you could ever have. I think it's better not to say anything and, if you wrong someone because of your illness, maybe tell that person in private and apologise. Unfortunately doing that makes it sound like an excuse. I'm not saying I have a better solution. Some people simply aren't apt for the real world. That's sad but it's the truth.

Autism is not a mental illness. I am not mentally ill. I was born with a disability which causes social impairments and a host of other symptoms. Being Autistic is beyond my control, and is untreatable other than just trying my damndest to “pass” as neurotypical whereever and however I can. I find it incredibly insulting and damaging to label me as mentally ill.

[flagged]

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#56

Post by ultraforce »

matkinz wrote: post #3

Disclosing a mental illness at work sounds like the worst idea you could ever have. I think it's better not to say anything and, if you wrong someone because of your illness, maybe tell that person in private and apologise. Unfortunately doing that makes it sound like an excuse. I'm not saying I have a better solution. Some people simply aren't apt for the real world. That's sad but it's the truth.

If you work somewhere where that is the situation I would highly recommend trying to find a job that isn't as messed up. In the province of Ontario, employers are specifically needed to allow you to take your sick days for if you are feeling overwhelmed or something else is going on that is bad for your mental health.

Asperger's Syndrome isn't considered a mental illness it's considered a neurodevelopmental disorder. There are many people who are neurotypical who due to circumstances will have trouble with handling interactions with the outside world I don't see why being on the spectrum should be considered something worse than being a person who drinks alcohol and then insults someone.

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#57

Post by ciaranm »

awakeasleep wrote: post #44
ciaranm wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey, just want to say that I've watched my own parents handle this with my youngest brother (now 13). It's incredibly difficult and draining both physically and emotionally. I can't imagine how tough it is first hand as a parent.

Does it at least improve as they get older?

It's different, certainly. I'm talking second hand about someone so I don't want to attribute too much of what are my observations as truth - but he's definitely more aware of when he's struggling and can articulate that better compared with when he was younger. He's also at a secondary school with very small class sizes that's set up to help with cases like his, which helps.

He does have other health issues that make day to day life difficult in other ways, so I don't want to say everything's rosy. Still lots of hard work for my parents to manage.

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#58

Post by ultraforce »

6stringmerc wrote: post #55
_d8k6 wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Autism is not a mental illness. I am not mentally ill. I was born with a disability which causes social impairments and a host of other symptoms. Being Autistic is beyond my control, and is untreatable other than just trying my damndest to “pass” as neurotypical whereever and however I can. I find it incredibly insulting and damaging to label me as mentally ill.

[flagged]

I know in my case it's because prior to finding out about being on the spectrum and having Aspergers I just thought it was everyone else who was defective. For some people on the spectrum including me, the biggest difference was that everyone else was some kind of weirdo who knew rules without being told them. As a kid, you are told to be careful on a road and that's why you are, you are told not to have your hands on a soccer ball but you aren't told make sure to lie to people when it comes to certain conditions. In a way, it's weirder than most people figure out without being told by anyone okay don't tell people that they are fat and don't ask questions about why someone is so certain that their religion is correct.

I had to be taught that but outside of that, most people who didn't spend too much time with me then think I am smarter than average and are willing to rely on me for help with some stuff. I am proud because Asperger's is related to how one's brain is wired if I was embarrassed or considered Asperger's to be defective it would take a toll on my mental health because then I would be thinking of myself of a defective thing and defective things are usually thought of as something that should be thrown out.

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#59

Post by gnulinux »

scardine wrote: post #50
loriverkutya wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you name one thing which is classified as autism spectrum and not incapaciting pls?

I have trouble perceiving other people's emotions, reading body language and facial expressions; it takes more effort to remember faces/names; have other social oddities; but it is hardly incapacitating and you learn how to deal with it. Insomnia (I'm able to sleep only 4h/day and wake up rested) and having hyper focus for my special interests are some perks.

Insomnia is not a perk. Where did you get this idea from? It's not healthy to sleep less than 7 hours on routine basis. It's irrelevant how you feel during the day.

Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits

#60

Post by sjg007 »

kraig911 wrote: post #31

I'm having difficultly explaining my child has autism and need the time off all the time. Seriously people's expectations versus handling reality are very misaligned. Everyone constantly tells me I look sleepy and I've over heard from some that maybe I drink too much. They don't understand the time it takes to drive a kid to see 3 different specialists every other week, to drive to and from ABA therapy (which doesn't…

What state are you in? You can get Medicaid and county services in some states and possibly find a center based program for her.
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