I'm having difficultly explaining my child has autism and need the time off all the time. Seriously people's expectations versus handling reality are very misaligned. Everyone constantly tells me I look sleepy and I've over heard from some that maybe I drink too much. They don't understand the time it takes to drive a kid to see 3 different specialists every other week, to drive to and from ABA therapy (which doesn't keep consistent hours or after care) they don't understand that she can't get into daycare (she's been kicked out by almost everywhere) and they definitely don't get why I'm like just a grain of sand away from losing it.
Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
31–40 of 139 posts
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#32I'm having difficultly explaining my child has autism and need the time off all the time. Seriously people's expectations versus handling reality are very misaligned. Everyone constantly tells me I look sleepy and I've over heard from some that maybe I drink too much. They don't understand the time it takes to drive a kid to see 3 different specialists every other week, to drive to and from ABA therapy (which doesn't…
What you’re doing is worth it. Thank you for it.
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#33Disclosing a mental illness at work sounds like the worst idea you could ever have. I think it's better not to say anything and, if you wrong someone because of your illness, maybe tell that person in private and apologise. Unfortunately doing that makes it sound like an excuse. I'm not saying I have a better solution. Some people simply aren't apt for the real world. That's sad but it's the truth.
Autism is not a mental illness. I am not mentally ill. I was born with a disability which causes social impairments and a host of other symptoms. Being Autistic is beyond my control, and is untreatable other than just trying my damndest to “pass” as neurotypical whereever and however I can. I find it incredibly insulting and damaging to label me as mentally ill.
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#34I have found it best to not talk about any psychological pathology with anyone that does not understand it(no one really understands but some people understand that they don't understand). You can mention the symptoms, but don't label it, as soon as you insert the word autism, schizophrenia, depression people will apply their own preconceived deeply flawed interpretations of the problem.
Disclosing anything not directly related to the work (i.e. health/future plans/dreams/difficulties/struggles) at work is a terrible idea. Every single person who thinks or advocates otherwise lives in a bubble -- betting on a correct outcome is no difficult than betting on rationality of the market.
Remember, market can be irrational for longer than you can remain solvent.
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#35Disclosing a mental illness at work sounds like the worst idea you could ever have. I think it's better not to say anything and, if you wrong someone because of your illness, maybe tell that person in private and apologise. Unfortunately doing that makes it sound like an excuse. I'm not saying I have a better solution. Some people simply aren't apt for the real world. That's sad but it's the truth.
> Disclosing a mental illness at work sounds like the worst idea you could ever have. I dunno, I worked with a small number of people on the spectrum before and it wasn't like it required a lot of disclosure to get that.
Because a lots of people on the spectrum learned (or forced to learn) how to hide the obvious behaviours and you just can't tell about them.
After I was diagnosed and I invested some time into studying about autism, I realised that there is handful of colleges, who are most probably on the spectrum, but they have a really systematic approach on hiding shortcomings and using autistic traits to their advantage. Also I'm pretty sure I have collegues, who hide it so well, that nobody notices it at work.
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#36Earlier quoted context omitted.
Many things classified today as autism spectrum disorders are hardly incapacitating so I would not call it a mental illness.
Can you name one thing which is classified as autism spectrum and not incapaciting pls?
Not OP, but hyperfocus springs immediately to mind.
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#37Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Some people simply aren't apt for the real world I'm confused by the juxtaposition of this statement and your preceding thoughts- it seems like quite a jump to say what seems to boil down to "Existing with mental illness at work and feeling like you have to hide it sucks" and then expand that to "People with mental illness aren't fit for the real world". Who decides who gets to be classified as "apt for the real wo…
I didn't say "people with mental illness aren't fit for the real world", but " some people with mental illness aren't fit for the real world". In this case, regarding autism, it's called "spectrum" for a reason
"In this case, regarding autism, it's called "spectrum" for a reason"
Yes, it may be easy on HN to forget because we get a lot of "high functioning autists" here, but the word "autism" encomposses the 15-year old boy I met stuck in a wheelchair, whose only verbal communication is what I can only describe as a "bark" when something was not to his liking.
"Mental illnesses" do not top out at "a bit quirky". It is neither inaccurate nor insensitive to observe that some people are simply incapable of functioning in the real world. In fact holding the belief that there is no such thing can itself harm people by preventing them from getting the highly-invasive help they need.
That said, if we're talking about people who are in the workplace at all, we're not really talking about that set of people.
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#38Disclosing a mental illness at work sounds like the worst idea you could ever have. I think it's better not to say anything and, if you wrong someone because of your illness, maybe tell that person in private and apologise. Unfortunately doing that makes it sound like an excuse. I'm not saying I have a better solution. Some people simply aren't apt for the real world. That's sad but it's the truth.
"I'm not saying I have a better solution. Some people simply aren't apt for the real world. That's sad but it's the truth" I agree with the parent that you really want to think through the benefits of reporting a mental illness at work. How you will be treated depends on your employer, your boss, and the HR people involved in the discussion. However as someone who struggles with a very real mental issue myself and ha…
Thanks for sharing. Like you, I've done plenty of "failing up"[1] in my 20-yr career. I'm also running my own business now and -- though it was a difficult path to get where I am now -- have more income than ever before, as well as more freedom than virtually anyone else I know who isn't retired.
[1] cf "How to Fail at almost Everything and Still Win Big" by Scott Adams
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#39Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can you name one thing which is classified as autism spectrum and not incapaciting pls?
Not OP, but hyperfocus springs immediately to mind.
Hyperfocus is not a specific indication of autism. It is also observed in AD(H)D patients, as complementary mode of attention deficits. If it worked such that you cannot focus on anything, ADHD would be very easy to diagnose.
Re: Disclosure of autism at work holds risks and benefits
#40I'm having difficultly explaining my child has autism and need the time off all the time. Seriously people's expectations versus handling reality are very misaligned. Everyone constantly tells me I look sleepy and I've over heard from some that maybe I drink too much. They don't understand the time it takes to drive a kid to see 3 different specialists every other week, to drive to and from ABA therapy (which doesn't…
Hey, just want to say that I've watched my own parents handle this with my youngest brother (now 13). It's incredibly difficult and draining both physically and emotionally. I can't imagine how tough it is first hand as a parent.