41–50 of 79 posts
One of the interesting points in the article is: “embrace the boredom”. That’s what I tell my 7-yo repeatedly. Boredom makes you more creative.
> “embrace the boredom”. That’s what I tell my 7-yo repeatedly. Boredom makes you more creative. Being creative is the opposite of embracing the boredom because you're fighting it by being creative.
I am very glad to know there are many people out there like myself. This article touched on many good points. I prefer to be alone about 70% of the time. I NEVER feel lonely, in fact just the opposite. I feel inspired in thought and connected to the massive pulsating power of our universe and everything in it. To be around people actually pulls me down into the superficiality of EGO which is not where I prefer to spe…
You have probably already read it, but your post reminds me of the book, Siddhartha , by Herman Hesse, which is about the life's journey of Buddha, who also discovered that sitting alone was an experience he enjoyed greatly, an activity which gave way to Buddhism, whose ultimate goal is to eliminate human suffering caused by the ego. You seem to be saying the same thing in a different way, which is awesome.
I went from lonely entrepreneur to my social bar overflowing into the red zone, where any additional social obligation is a sacrifice of me time. I love my partner, he is the best person ever, but he can't be everything, like sharing my passion about period poverty as much as I can hahaha. I have a loving tribe of wonderful partner, family, and friends but I'm still searching for weirdos like me, entrepreneurs that are more interested in building sustainable and ethical business practices than making money. In that sense, I crave solitude but I still feel lonely, like I'm missing out on very meaningful relationships with people with similar goals and passions.
Boy, HN loves articles about solitude and loneliness. And it's a distinction that often crops up in discussion here. I think there's a balance here, and cultivating some amount of loneliness -- not solitude -- is also good. For example, two people in my life are "Alice" and "Bob", who have been married for decades. Alice once told me that one of Bob's great weaknesses was that he'd been alone for too long in his teen…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
People have become so incredibly needy of others approval and attention that some of us don't even function properly when being alone. This makes us incredibly week as well, totally dependent on others to feel good.
Some people. Those of us who are quite happy to be alone, or even prefer it, cannot be noticed or included in these statements (by definition).
Needing to be alone after school or work is not quite the same as being alone 24/7 for months.
Boy, HN loves articles about solitude and loneliness. And it's a distinction that often crops up in discussion here. I think there's a balance here, and cultivating some amount of loneliness -- not solitude -- is also good. For example, two people in my life are "Alice" and "Bob", who have been married for decades. Alice once told me that one of Bob's great weaknesses was that he'd been alone for too long in his teen…
> weeks of overseas travel where nobody knows him and he doesn't talk much are great fun for him This sounds like me. I once went to a week long conference where I realized at the end that during the entire week I could count on 2 hands the number of words I had spoken to other people during that time. I don't have the desire or need to speak with other people. I'm happy with my own thoughts. Or as Jane Austen wrote,…
The best thing to do, IMHO, is to look inside and ask yourself what it is you want to feel less lonely:
- Are you feeling lonely because you are escaping a feeling or because you need to connect and you cannot? - Is there something you can do today so your future self is not feeling lonely? - Can you focus on upcoming engagements to feel comfortable being alone today? - Are there people you can text a quick "hi" to fill that sense of longing, even just momentarily? - Are there little pleasures that you've been neglecting that might only be done when you're alone?
It's not simple but the idea of looking inwards is easier than pretending to be a whale. ;)
Boy, HN loves articles about solitude and loneliness. And it's a distinction that often crops up in discussion here. I think there's a balance here, and cultivating some amount of loneliness -- not solitude -- is also good. For example, two people in my life are "Alice" and "Bob", who have been married for decades. Alice once told me that one of Bob's great weaknesses was that he'd been alone for too long in his teen…
You imply a downside for Bob in his avoidance of shared-vulnerability-relationship, you didn't explicitly state it - you said it hurts others who have expectations over him. Maybe the details of their marriage, which are none of my business, are where the answer is - but my question is: what is the downside for him?
One of the interesting points in the article is: “embrace the boredom”. That’s what I tell my 7-yo repeatedly. Boredom makes you more creative.
The author wildly mixes statistic sources with inspirational tinder-quotes, mentions research about that abnormal whale, than boils it down to grandma-psychology and does a general bad job separating "my opinion", "read somewhere" and "credible source".
In a similar fashion, comments here confusing anecdotes with science and vice versa. Of course loneliness is compared to network-cryptography a wider experienced phenomenon and can be discussed on a personal level if you declare that, but I find it very hard to extract anything of value here...