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Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

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Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#61

Post by elmerfud »

jamesrcole wrote: post #58
elmerfud wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Like many of the other commenters, my point was that labeling yourself as broken and assuming the victim mindset is what's unhelpful. Everyone has issues, literally everyone and understanding that it's normal and not what defines you is what's important. This allows you to acknowledge, embrace, and seek help if needed.

But you don't know this person's history or current state! You are just assuming it is mere labelling. You're also assuming that if someone says they are mentally broken they are taking a victim mindset. If someone says they have 20 broken bones and cannot walk is that taking a victim mindset, or might it just be an objectively description independent of their mindset? Just because everyone has issues does not mean t…

Obviously the original poster seems to agree with the many people advising not to take the victim mindset as the title has been changed. Describing yourself as "damaged" is the victim label word choice, not an objective medical mental state term. Only later was it mentioned as anhedonia. The damaged description has been changed to depression to describe a condition not a label. No where did I suggest that they should just "get over" depression or their anhedonia. It's that they should not allow those things to define them as damaged.

I can't tell if you're intentionally misunderstanding or if you really don't get the difference. To compare a literal medical condition (20 broken bones) with a non-medical label (mentally damaged) seems as it could be either.

Any perceived double standards on mental vs physical care is only in your head. Proper labeling of any condition for both the doctor and the patient is critical. If you suffer massive trama (such as your broken bones) and allow the label of cripple to define you, that's what you'll be.

It is normal for everyone in life to encounter challenges. Be they physical or mental. To have a view that your physical or mental condition is special or somehow makes you not normal does a great disservice to yourself.

You seem very talented at reading words that do not exist and telling people they assume things when most everything you've written is an assumption. It may be time to look up "objective" vs "subjective".

It's not helpful to the discussion to put words in people's mouth.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#62

Post by user3359 »

Exercise, sleep and nutrition can always be improved.

Also get your hormone levels tested. I had cyclic depression from 15 through 25 and HRT has been a life saver. It becomes more noticeable at your age.

Everyone is different, but for me personally, a needle in the ass once per week is 100x better than depression, and it becomes something you have to live with, like brushing your teeth. Standard doses of 100mg/week are anarchaic though, look for 200mg/week and don't settle for the topical gels.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#63

Post by acct1771 »

reaktion wrote: post #56
anothergoogler wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One nit to pick, a beginning rider should NOT get a 1000cc superbike and then use it for an adrenaline rush. That's a ticket to the ER/morgue.

Agreed. Speaking from experience, any bike is a trip to the ER. Riding in to my office job was one of the best parts of my day - until I was hit head on by a car. It's not worth it to me anymore, cyclists are invisible to drivers!

Try louder exhaust next time =P

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#64

Post by jamesrcole »

elmerfud wrote: post #61
jamesrcole wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But you don't know this person's history or current state! You are just assuming it is mere labelling. You're also assuming that if someone says they are mentally broken they are taking a victim mindset. If someone says they have 20 broken bones and cannot walk is that taking a victim mindset, or might it just be an objectively description independent of their mindset? Just because everyone has issues does not mean t…

Obviously the original poster seems to agree with the many people advising not to take the victim mindset as the title has been changed. Describing yourself as "damaged" is the victim label word choice, not an objective medical mental state term. Only later was it mentioned as anhedonia. The damaged description has been changed to depression to describe a condition not a label. No where did I suggest that they should…

I'm was talking about a comment made before any of those changes, where that comment was making assumptions. I'm also saying that you can't assume that what is there in the OPs post or comments tells the full story.

You don't seem to understand that someone can actually be in a severely bad mental state (as if a label being "non-medical" somehow means such a state cannot exist). You are assuming that no claims of such can be objectively accurate -- that they can only be allowing oneself to be defined in a certain way, and can only be expressions of mindset or attitude.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#65

Post by [deleted] »

elmerfud wrote: post #61
jamesrcole wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But you don't know this person's history or current state! You are just assuming it is mere labelling. You're also assuming that if someone says they are mentally broken they are taking a victim mindset. If someone says they have 20 broken bones and cannot walk is that taking a victim mindset, or might it just be an objectively description independent of their mindset? Just because everyone has issues does not mean t…

Obviously the original poster seems to agree with the many people advising not to take the victim mindset as the title has been changed. Describing yourself as "damaged" is the victim label word choice, not an objective medical mental state term. Only later was it mentioned as anhedonia. The damaged description has been changed to depression to describe a condition not a label. No where did I suggest that they should…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#66

Post by hndamien »

jamesrcole wrote: post #60
hndamien wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes it is just the perception that they have it worse than others, or worse than where they would rather be. This is all that matters really.

That's not an excuse for saying they're normal and therefore denying what they might actually be going through. I find it amazing the double standards when it comes to physical vs mental problems. No one asserts to a quadriplegic that their physical circumstances are "normal". No one treats a quadriplegic who says they're quadriplegic as, because of saying this, having an attitude problem.

I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. For reference, I am going through something similar that to an outsider they would see something that looked like a wonderfully fortuitous event, but my personal experience of it pushed me into a deep depression.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#67

Post by jamesrcole »

hndamien wrote: post #66
jamesrcole wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's not an excuse for saying they're normal and therefore denying what they might actually be going through. I find it amazing the double standards when it comes to physical vs mental problems. No one asserts to a quadriplegic that their physical circumstances are "normal". No one treats a quadriplegic who says they're quadriplegic as, because of saying this, having an attitude problem.

I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. For reference, I am going through something similar that to an outsider they would see something that looked like a wonderfully fortuitous event, but my personal experience of it pushed me into a deep depression.

> I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do.

I don't understand what you're saying -- what does the "this" refer to?

I'm also a bit unclear on where your coming from, because my comment about calling someone normal is referring to someone else's statement, not yours.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#68

Post by XalvinX »

mother nature is the best medicine. trees, birds, clouds, water, rocks...time spent immersed in the elements (preferably alone, i think) can only make you feel better. even just an half-day hike in the woods or mountains or few hours surfing or walking along an uncrowded beach can charge you for days. and my god man, don't give energy to "I have anhedonia" and "I'm mentally damaged" ...that is only true if you believe it, like many things in life.

everybody can feel pleasure. you just need to get out of your house, out of the city, and feel the sun and such. sunshine alone can cure most depression...just take off your shirt and let it sink in.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#69

Post by CodeWriter23 »

I don’t know if this would apply to you. Your story sounds similar to mine, so I’ll share what I did, just in case. I also apologize in advance if this does not apply.

That said, I found my depression was a direct result of consuming depressants. Alcohol, weed, anything else I could get my hands on. Suicidal ideation was the order of the day. I got clean almost 23 years ago with the help of a 12-Step program. It sounds like an odd choice for an Atheist like myself. But it was absolutely the best thing I ever did for myself. I’d really like to tell you my life is a bowl of cherries all day every day. But that would be a lie. I do have a life that I was incapable of envisioning for myself. I am married, I am a dad and I’m pursuing my dream building my own company. I’m completely in love with my wife and my nine-year-old daughter. I get to feel a wide range of emotions. Every day. I get to be present for everything. I get to participate in every decision in my life, instead of living life by the default settings. And I get to be responsible for every one of those choices. It is freedom for my mind, my heart, and my body.

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