Some tv show had a good quote the other day.. "There's two constants in life, buyers remorse and sellers regret..." This was in the context of a house I believe.
How to Make a Big Decision
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Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#72My decision making process touches upon some of the points brought up in the article. I often speak about how I grew up poor without many options available to me (well, options that led to me being alive) so once I started my career suddenly my options exploded. Now I had many difficult decisions to make. My decision making process always involves multiple alternatives and backup plans. What if I got laid off from my…
One other thing to keep in perspective is that since you grew up poor, you know how to live and handle it if it were to happen again. That should give confidence. Still I think having a savings buffer helps immensely.
Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#73Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's funny how these tricks really do work, where you can skip the deliberation and go right to the decision you've already subconsciously made. Another similar one is to flip a coin and see if you're disappointed in the outcome or not (or alternatively, think about which coin outcome you're hoping for before you look at the result).
I have occasionally imagined flipping a coin, on the ground that when the coin is in the air I will know how I'd wish it to fall.
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Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#74One Founding Fathers of the United States, Benjamin Franklin, also used the pro/con technique [1]. This topic also seems to touch upon game theory. The Optimal Stopping problem comes to mind. [2]
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Franklin#Decision-mak... [2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimal_stopping
Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#75This deserves the king of making decisions: https://waitbutwhy.com/2016/09/marriage-decision.html
Interesting WaitButWhy, but in my opinion, the real big decision is about children, not marriage. The difference of responsibility is light years apart. Marriage can be undone.
Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#76Earlier quoted context omitted.
Kind of like Frost's "The Road Not Taken." Many think it's about how he made a bold decision that "made all the difference," but it's really about how it didn't matter which road he took. Though as for that the passing there / Had worn them really about the same
That's not what the poem is saying. The poem is saying two things: 1. The line you quoted: Even though one of the paths looks special, in fact both are well-trodden paths. The walker is making a decision on imaginary evidence. The poem is mocking the poor decision-making process and retroactive rationalization. 2. (granted, not in the text, but in the context). The poem is about Frost's friend Thomas having trouble d…
I never would have interpreted the poem that way...even given the supposed study we've given it back in the day...i should dig up some poetry and reread, you know, when i find the time.
Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#77I'm currently doing YC Start Up School with a company set out to help solve the problems mentioned in the article and other related ones, for work teams.
Besides making it easy for every invited member to submit and compare alternatives, it allows teams focus discussions by structuring decisions in a visual, clear way (weighted pros & cons, multiple weighted decision criteria, etc.), contrast opinions of different contributors and manage a configurable the process to drive engagement.
I hadn't heard of the concept of "premortems" but the decision structures are flexible so any decision could be configured to support them (either one "premortem" per alternative or one per alternative/participant pair).
If anyone is interested in a demo of Resolutt, please let me know.
Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#78I'm currently doing YC Start Up School with a company set out to help solve the problems mentioned in the article and other related ones, for work teams. Besides making it easy for every invited member to submit and compare alternatives, it allows teams focus discussions by structuring decisions in a visual, clear way (weighted pros & cons, multiple weighted decision criteria, etc.), contrast opinions of different co…
+1 for Resolutt, we are trying it at Bitnami and though it is still early days it is very promising (https://resolutt.com/)
Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#79The Freakonomics guys did a paper on this. Basically, their conclusion was just do it, make the big change. Their experiment was based on coin flips and self-reported happiness, but basically those who made the big change after the coin told them to reported being substantially happier, and if you dive into the data, you'll see that those that went with the biggest decisions (quit a job, get married) saw a double dig…
Two personal anecdotes related to this. I've made what seem to be four major career decisions in my life. Aged 14 at school I was in tears because I couldn't do one of the O levels I desperately wanted, the school pretty much forced me onto this new Computer Studies course they'd just started running. As a direct result it grabbed me and I worked in the games industry for a good few years. In my late 20s a friend off…
My advice to friends who are chewing on some major decision is always to tell them to flip a coin. It's the perfect way to shut off their brain, which isn't getting them anywhere (or they would have decided already!), and get them to go with their gut. The important thing isn't to go with the result of the flip, but use it to help reveal your preference in a decision you either can't analyze or where the predicted outcomes are more or less equivalent, but different.
Re: How to Make a Big Decision
#80Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's an excellent quote, thank you. Having said that, my take on that quote is that it seems a bit of a cop out - a way of absolving oneself of the consequences of ones actions. You may well regret both, but perhaps you will also enjoy one, or you will regret one less, or regret one more, or one has ramifications which due to your (hypothetical) selfish nature you may regret but are better for society, etc etc etc.…
Most of us end up constructing a narrative where whatever choices we made were the right ones, unless they go so disastrously wrong that we can't fool ourselves. So why agonize so much?
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