Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm looking for something like this: https://www.amazon.com/RockBirds-Required-Function-Control-A... Except, doesn't require a custom android/ios app. I do want wireless protocol, but once the switch is networked, I want to be able to control it without some middle-man app that is phoning home outside of my network.
There are many options. For the wireless part my suggestion is to use zwave or zigbee devices as both protocols are open and widely used. You can use a raspberry pi with a controller and Home Assistant (or equivalent) or an Athom homey which is not fully open but freely programmable. Option: https://xiaomi-mi.com/sockets-and-sensors/xiaomi-mi-smart-so... And Ikea will release zigbee wall plugs this year, their gatewa…
Innr smart plugs
https://www.athom.com/en/store/product/innr-sp120-smart-plug...