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Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

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Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#31

Post by dasmoth »

Having at least some flexibility regarding working hours and location seems to be a disproportionately big win for me. There are few more frustrating things than being in an office at 9am on a lovely day when I'd rather be walking/cycling, even when I'm not really in the middle of something and nothing is on fire. I'm actually going to be more productive for the day if I go for a walk, mull things over, and perhaps sling some code in the evening.

Flexibility and keeping synchronisation points reasonably infrequent is far more important to me than reducing overall workload.

Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#32

Post by 0x4f3759df »

Understanding the arc of life. Life in your 20s can be more about horsing around with your friends, but after 40 its more about spending time with your family (your friends become less available because they all started families).

Discovering fitness. Imagine someone who sits in their car on the way to work, then sits at work, then comes home and watches TV while sitting. That person is unhappy because they are sitting all day. Think of kids, they want to run around and play soccer, go to karate, do gymnastics... we're not so different. Hit the gym, hit the bike machine/trail, hit the weights, do a 5K, hit the climbing gym, stretch, do a handstand, do a butterfly kick, do an aerial

Live in a walk-able area if possible. Learn a foreign language. Eliminate vices

Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#33

Post by justaguyhere »

agentultra wrote: post #8

Read. Read ferociously. Devour everything. Read aloud. Read with friends. Read outside your comfort zone. Always be reading. Take a break to write. Write about what you read. Writing is thinking and thinking is hard. You won't want to do this too much. But you should try it to anyway to stay sharp. Talk to your neighbors. Get to know them. Lend them your books. Invite them over for tea. Play games. Share stories. Hel…

Write about what you read

I'd add this - write on paper if/whenever possible, instead of computer.

Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#34

Post by justaguyhere »

scarface74 wrote: post #25
djrogers wrote: post #2

Get married, have kids, dedicate your life to making theirs better. There’s a reason the vast majority of people in history have gone this route - it’s very fulfilling.

Marriage has been shown to increase happiness. Having kids decreases happiness.... http://fortune.com/2016/05/09/mothers-marriage-parenthood/ Comparing couples with and without children, researchers found that the rate of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as steep for couples who have children than for childless couples. In the event that a pregnancy is unplanned, the parents experience even gr…

Having kids decreases happiness

This is one of those things that can't be "tested", so it is better to be sure before having kids. Personally I've decided against having kids, maybe I'll regret when I am 50, but for now I don't. Fortunately for me, there are enough humans in the planet already, so a few of us not having kids should only have positive impact, at least in the short term.

Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#35

Post by scarface74 »

justaguyhere wrote: post #34
scarface74 wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Marriage has been shown to increase happiness. Having kids decreases happiness.... http://fortune.com/2016/05/09/mothers-marriage-parenthood/ Comparing couples with and without children, researchers found that the rate of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as steep for couples who have children than for childless couples. In the event that a pregnancy is unplanned, the parents experience even gr…

Having kids decreases happiness This is one of those things that can't be "tested", so it is better to be sure before having kids. Personally I've decided against having kids, maybe I'll regret when I am 50, but for now I don't. Fortunately for me, there are enough humans in the planet already, so a few of us not having kids should only have positive impact, at least in the short term.

Occasionally when I see other parents with babies, I imagine a life with my wife and I raising a baby and thinking I missed something. Then they start crying and just being kids and I quickly get over it.

Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#36

Post by agentultra »

justaguyhere wrote: post #33
agentultra wrote: post #8

Read. Read ferociously. Devour everything. Read aloud. Read with friends. Read outside your comfort zone. Always be reading. Take a break to write. Write about what you read. Writing is thinking and thinking is hard. You won't want to do this too much. But you should try it to anyway to stay sharp. Talk to your neighbors. Get to know them. Lend them your books. Invite them over for tea. Play games. Share stories. Hel…

Write about what you read I'd add this - write on paper if/whenever possible, instead of computer.

I agree! The only thing more intuitive than a pen is perhaps a blade. Writing on a computer is messy and full of temptations to resist. When it's just paper there's nothing and that is important: you need space and time for your own thoughts!

Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#37

Post by tmpmov »

apatters wrote: post #17
djrogers wrote: post #2

Get married, have kids, dedicate your life to making theirs better. There’s a reason the vast majority of people in history have gone this route - it’s very fulfilling.

There might be other reasons the majority of people have gone this route. Maybe (probably) we're genetically programmed to perpetuate the species even at the cost of our personal happiness. Anyone thinking of taking this advice and starting a family should be aware of a few things. - A number of studies have been conducted on the impact of marriage/kids on personal happiness. Married people report that their children…

My only issue with this is the older in life idea. I agree that marrying later in life has many benefits. The drawbacks for me are health-related. As we age, we have higher health risks. Aside from early death, I seem to recall research indicating offspring "health" decreases as either parent ages.

Still, finding love later in life is quite a good thing. If it happens, then that's wonderful.

Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#38

Post by criveros »

djrogers wrote: post #2

Get married, have kids, dedicate your life to making theirs better. There’s a reason the vast majority of people in history have gone this route - it’s very fulfilling.

That just sounds so boring and scary. I am 30 and the thought of being with the same person for the rest of my life sounds scary. To be honest I would most likely cheat in that situation.

Re: Ask HN: Your subjective takes on living a non-boring and pleasant life?

#40

Post by HeyLaughingBoy »

criveros wrote: post #38
djrogers wrote: post #2

Get married, have kids, dedicate your life to making theirs better. There’s a reason the vast majority of people in history have gone this route - it’s very fulfilling.

That just sounds so boring and scary. I am 30 and the thought of being with the same person for the rest of my life sounds scary. To be honest I would most likely cheat in that situation.

Having been in that situation, I may be able to offer some insight.

In my early thirties I was, let's say "very friendly with the ladies." I simply could not imagine being monogamous, and couldn't understand why anyone would want to be.

Then I met the woman who became my wife and I almost immediately didn't want any other woman. I don't mean that I came to accept that I wouldn't have any others, or anything like that. I mean that I simply didn't want anyone else. Other women became like abstract beings: attractive, but I was content to view them from afar. There was only one particular woman I actually wanted to make physical contact with.

I know that may sound kind of weird and new-agey, but it was literally like a switch flipping to another position, and almost 18 years later, it's never flipped back. My wife can be a royal pain in the ass sometimes, but my life would be lacking something critical without her, specifically, in it.

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