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In Kenya, “sugar” relationships have become both more common and more visible

bbc.co.uk

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Re: In Kenya, “sugar” relationships have become both more common and more visible

#11

Post by saagarjha »

epx wrote: post #4

Please discount the fact that I am a bit of a misanthrope, but... who the hell enters in a relationship not expecting to get something in return?

Almost nobody. But the benefits don't have to be some sort of personal gain: I'm sure most relationships are just for the "benefit" of someone who supports you emotionally rather than with money/fame/power.

Re: In Kenya, “sugar” relationships have become both more common and more visible

#14

Post by hackits »

saagarjha wrote: post #11
epx wrote: post #4

Please discount the fact that I am a bit of a misanthrope, but... who the hell enters in a relationship not expecting to get something in return?

Almost nobody. But the benefits don't have to be some sort of personal gain: I'm sure most relationships are just for the "benefit" of someone who supports you emotionally rather than with money/fame/power.

Guy talking here. As a man it's best to self actualize and see you-self as a person with feelings, emotions and boundaries. Take a serious look at your health, sexual ,emotional needs and address them individually distinct from each other. After that then branch off to getting sexual relationships with other people as you yourself can identify people with mental disorders and vet people who don't align with your goals and aspiration in life.

If anyone wants a great starting point to help out I would recommend the talks by: https://youtu.be/lMBqFFnSS5U?list=PLe7tfp6fIaMwdMTW2O3-kkBiJ...

For Veting individual you can simply use `Transactional analysis` to quickly filter from people who're high value vs high drama.

Re: In Kenya, “sugar” relationships have become both more common and more visible

#16

Post by DoreenMichele »

Thanks to the choice of illustrations, it could definitely use a NSFW tag. But it's a surprisingly good article about a difficult subject. It's very evenhanded and even notes that there are young males who do this as well.

Sex work is a tough topic for sorting out human rights under the best of circumstances. It sounds like it is even more fraught in the crucible that is Africa.

Re: In Kenya, “sugar” relationships have become both more common and more visible

#18

Post by onetimemanytime »

>>One of her motives, she says, is to be able to support her younger sisters, so they won't need to rely on men for money

Aha! The very definition of taking one for the team :-) .

The news is that now it's wide open and more expected. They'll keep it doing well into their 40's, once you cross the barrier you can always use more money. And odds are that they'll find a taker, albeit an older one and receive way less money.

Re: In Kenya, “sugar” relationships have become both more common and more visible

#19

Post by onetimemanytime »

epx wrote: post #4

Please discount the fact that I am a bit of a misanthrope, but... who the hell enters in a relationship not expecting to get something in return?

This is probably the most honest one. Pay, do the thing and leave.

Re: In Kenya, “sugar” relationships have become both more common and more visible

#20

Post by joe_the_user »

CamTin wrote: post #5
epx wrote: post #4

Please discount the fact that I am a bit of a misanthrope, but... who the hell enters in a relationship not expecting to get something in return?

Outside marketized relationships like boss-underling, employer-employee, and salesman-customer? Pretty much no one who isn't an Adam Sandler villain.

It's a tough thing to express. Certainly, we feel like good people are ones who aren't simply calculating a benefit.

But that doesn't mean people don't expect a benefit, it's just that the people we admire expect it without crudely calculating it.

I'd say in a lot of ways, a person entering into a relationship expects benefit and expects to form an "us", a commonality, a partnership, with their other, so that what benefits is "us", the common group, and not simply the individual as a completely separated entity unconcerned with the other.

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