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Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#331

Post by abledon »

Kluny wrote: post #215
cityzen wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let me ask you this... what would you do if your employer fired you right now? Would you be homeless? What's really at stake here? You will NEVER have the time to put towards the work you love if you spend the majority of your time doing work you don't care about. It's really a disservice to you and your employer to be in this situation. Have you tried to communicate with them? Do they do any kind of employee reviews…

I need the last paycheck. So I'm sticking it out to the end of the month. But if I don't get fired, I'm going to ask for a leave of absence, or quit. But I'm still worried about what happens next. Rent in my city is expensive, and salaries are comparatively low. The political job pays decently, for the city, but even if I can find a similar full time job after election season, I'll be paying a little over half my sal…

Rent too high? Move in with more roommates. Or find a cheaper area to live. Also eliminate expensive hobbies, replace with free ones like hiking or community activities, cook all your food yourself, use lots of staple ingredients.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#332

Post by ryandrake »

JaumeGreen wrote: post #148
username77 wrote: post #84

I’m 30 and haven’t really had much dating experience. It boggles my mind how people are already married by 30. How does dating work? Serious question.

Look into pickup communities. Don't take it as gospel, in fact ignore most of it (specially negging, and any other kind of power plays). But you'll see that it's possible, you will also learn to read signs. Mostly dating consists of improving oneself, be social, don't objectify people and learn the unwritten rules.

+1 to at least familiarizing yourself with PUA culture and literature. Ignore the people who say it’s shady. Ignore the bad advice to “just be yourself and one day magic will happen.” If you want to learn a skill (meeting women) where you have no inherent talent, then you have to study and practice. It’s like any sport. Some people have natural talent but most people are no good. The more you practice and learn, the better you will get.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#333

Post by tropo »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #320
tropo wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was in that situation. I discovered that worst-case situations were actually easier, because failure was expected and thus didn't hurt. Asking out a plain girl was difficult. Asking out an ugly one meant that a rejection would be devastating. ("even the ugly ones reject me") So, what to do...? I marched myself out to the city park and ordered myself to approach the hottest women I could find. One day I walked throu…

[deleted]

Note that I didn't suggest that I thought she'd only judge me on looks. I also was not a doctor or lawyer, and I didn't have the social skills of a politician.

Fundamentally, rejection hurts. The more you get rejected, the more it hurts, because you can no longer excuse it as being about the other person. Recovering from a rejection can take years.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#334

Post by ryandrake »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #247
nostrademons wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I didn't go on my first date until a month before my 30th birthday. Met my eventual wife on OKCupid 18 months later, married her 2 years after that, and now have a 7 month old, ~7 years after it all started. I'll disagree with a lot of the advice given here. The pictures on online dating sites are what you make of them. I didn't even like my wife's pictures, I only messaged her because she was playing 4 truths and a…

> I also read The Game and some PUA communities, but soured on them when a.) all my female friends told me "Dude, you're skeevy just for even mentioning them" and a married coworker was like "Well, it works on some girls - usually the type that's a total trainwreck in a relationship anyway." I think the real value in that material is the disillusionment. If you approach it as less a collection of cheat codes or parlo…

The PUA literature gets a bad rap as scummy but at its core it’s plain old skill development: study, practice, have a plan, execute, review, repeat. This isn’t a Disney movie where magic is required. Just hard work and dedicated study / practice time.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#335

Post by ravenstine »

I struggle to code in a timely manner, and I'm often wondering whether I'm too slow or the world is too fast. I don't think I'm an incompetent coder, and I don't believe I'm stupid, but I'm convinced that it takes me a lot longer to build something than other people I know. It's not that I'm not trying, but I'd rather not rush into problems. It's unclear whether this makes me a bad software engineer since I've been both rewarded and punished for this trait.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#336

Post by ryandrake »

legohead wrote: post #219

I don't like the new way of doing things. Kubernetes, node, react, terraform... Everything is more complicated and also more fragile. I feel like the software world is collectively mad and I'm sitting on the outside asking "wtf is going on?" Or maybe I'm the crazy one.

“When your only tool is a 150 node cluster...”

As an old school embedded programmer, I’ve stopped trying to even figure out how many layers of abstraction, data transfer and transformation, business rules, and libraries are between the user and the metal in modern software. Nobody values small and concise anymore. Big and complicated pays the paychecks.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#338

Post by ryandrake »

Kluny wrote: post #180

I'm struggling to get away from being a developer. I left a comfortable, but low-paying job because there was no future and no promotions or job changes in sight. I want to work with people, not code. I hate being by myself in front of a computer all day. That led to my current job, where I'm paid twice as much but not really measuring up to their expectations. I'm still by myself in front of a computer all day. I ca…

If you want to stay in technology but not actually write code, give Product Management or Project Management a try. You’ll make less money than a similar level engineer, but your job will rely more on communication and relationship building, which is fun if you’re an extrovert!

You can code on your spare time to keep your skills sharp if it’s still moderately interesting to you.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#339

Post by wetpaste »

legohead wrote: post #219

I don't like the new way of doing things. Kubernetes, node, react, terraform... Everything is more complicated and also more fragile. I feel like the software world is collectively mad and I'm sitting on the outside asking "wtf is going on?" Or maybe I'm the crazy one.

This is just some MVP java app with an nginx proxy, elastic-search, and mysql? Why is this running in k8s on aws via Kops in conjunction with a cloudformation template for aurora inside of a VPC? With containers separately built via packer +ansible kicked off via jenkins after each pull request merge? The CI pipeline also kicks off a canary deployment in our UAT environment with a prometheus exporter for monitoring on our grafana dashboard and if you want to see logs you have to look at our ELK stack for that and if you want to do any debugging we have Jaeger for tracing across our service mesh which is based on Istio using Calico as a network overlay. All that for an app does some crappy knock-off of trello.
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