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Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#81

Post by swatcoder »

80386 wrote: post #30

I make I try to get at least one Git commit every day, but my job is pretty draining, so that doesn't happen. And sometimes all my projects get blocked on hard stuff that I don't have the energy to solve. For all I know, I might look alright on paper. I've co-authored a paper in a respectable journal, written a few Rails apps, a few desktop apps, and a crappy interpreter for an old language - which doesn't really use…

Thanks for sharing this. It takes courage.

You're being very hard on yourself. You're more than ready to excel at a tech job, and in fact you seem to be far more ready than most candidates.

Rather than figure out what code you haven't written or what system you haven't studied, spend the time figuring out what's getting in your way emotionally. Then try to put those fears to the side for a few weeks and start hustling for jobs. Your life is going to change dramatically, and as soon as you're ready to let it!

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#82

Post by dominotw »

mrdependable wrote: post #31

I've been struggling with adulthood ever since turning 30 and starting a family. I have this image in my head of what life after 30 looks like from seeing my parents and all their friends doing basically the same thing as each other. It's not a life I want for myself, but every decision I make pushes me further and further in that direction. My mind has been programmed to think and act in a way that eventually lands…

> My mind has been programmed to think and act in a way that eventually lands me in the same life as my father.

Freedom from something is not freedom though because you are modeling your life as a reaction to thing you are trying to free yourself from so you are still tied to that thing.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#83

Post by roryisok »

Odenwaelder wrote: post #15

I struggle with the question whether to have children or not. I'm surrounded by new fathers who struggle with their children, whose wives have turned from attractive women into unattractive moms. I read witty comments all the time suggesting how much of a burden kids are. This struggle burns me out.

I don't know what to tell you. I love my kids, and i would absolutely make the same decision over again, but a lot of what you said rings true. Kids are a burden. Of course they are. They're not self sufficient. You literally have to carry them around for the first 2 years. I found your unattractive moms comment a bit shallow, but let's talk about it. Everyone ages, looks don't last forever regardless of kids. The more crucial point is, having kids will change your relationship with your partner. You'll no longer be the centre of her world. It's not an easy transition to make, and it leads to break ups. Your sex life will suffer. So will your social life, sleep, and hobbies. But once you look your first born child in the face those things don't seem that important anymore.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#86

Post by rckclmbr »

newfie_bullet wrote: post #43
mrdependable wrote: post #31

I've been struggling with adulthood ever since turning 30 and starting a family. I have this image in my head of what life after 30 looks like from seeing my parents and all their friends doing basically the same thing as each other. It's not a life I want for myself, but every decision I make pushes me further and further in that direction. My mind has been programmed to think and act in a way that eventually lands…

Interested in knowing what the 'thing' is. Sounds like a good start tho.

Agreed, the context is important. If by ending up like their parents they mean "getting old", I'm afraid there's no way to avoid that.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#87

Post by acconrad »

My relationship with money. I make more than like 98% of the population but my parents grew up middle/lower class so I'm just constantly worried about having enough for retirement, and having enough money for kids, and having enough money for their education, AND any possible illnesses/issues having seen families with health insurance crippled by things like cancer treatments. It seems like no matter what, I find myself cutting my own hair, using grocery bags for trash bags, and generally being a bit crazy in the frugal dept while also socking away 85% of my paycheck because it just feels like there is not enough.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#88

Post by madeuptempacct »

Odenwaelder wrote: post #15

I struggle with the question whether to have children or not. I'm surrounded by new fathers who struggle with their children, whose wives have turned from attractive women into unattractive moms. I read witty comments all the time suggesting how much of a burden kids are. This struggle burns me out.

I am fairly sure that 99% of relationships are exactly this.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#89

Post by DenisM »

01100011 wrote: post #80

Being tired most of the day. I have sleep apnea, but it's controlled with a CPAP. My numbers are good and I've felt better since I started using it, but I still like I need a nap most of the time. I exercise, eat right, take vitamins and supplements, but I just can't escape the fatigue. --- Money. I got a divorce a few years ago and now I'm paying 1/3 of my income in alimony. Combine that with having taken a lower pa…

Ask your sleep doc about modafinil, it will set you straight wrt excessive sleepiness. Check for anxiety too, that can mess up your sleep.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#90

Post by thinkingkong »

zombieprocess wrote: post #41
etatoby wrote: post #26

Long-term: dating/relationships. I'm very outgoing, but I have love shyness or something like that. I basically don't date. I find the entire thing extremely stressful and unbearable. I've always been alone. Short-term: not much! I recently dropped everything and moved to the other side of the globe (Japan) on a student visa. I'm studying a very interesting language and culture and making friends with people from all…

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I always dream of this kind of stuff but then convince myself I am too old for this. I am 31.

Im 36. Just do it now. Youre younger than you think and in 10 years you’ll just wish you had done it anyway.
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